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Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity


AnonyMouse_64

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Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

 

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

 

 

 

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

 

 

 

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

 

 

 

4. Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it 'In.'

 

 

 

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

 

 

 

6. In the memo field of all your cheques, write ' For smuggling diamonds'

 

 

 

7. Finish all your sentences with 'In accordance with the prophecy.'

 

 

 

8. Don't use any punctuation.

 

 

 

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

 

 

 

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

 

 

 

11. Specify that your drive-through order Is 'to go.'

 

 

 

12. Sing along at the opera..

 

 

 

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

 

 

 

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day..

 

 

 

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

 

 

 

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

 

 

 

17. When the money comes out the cashpoint, scream, 'I Won!, I Won!'

 

 

 

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, 'Run for your lives, they're loose!!'

 

 

 

19. Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.'

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I have to get cash tomorrow - must try it!! :oxD

Talking of cash points, my mum used to be a real Corrie fan. I always remember Hilda Ogden using a cash point for the first time. When the money popped out she leant in real close and said "thank you" to the machine. Classic!

 

Maz

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Great fun, I loved No 10, but had to read it twice before the penny dropped, I think if I was a waitress and a customer requested this, I would have looked for diet water in the bottled water bar. xD:o:(

 

Peggy

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My husband does the cash point one all the time.

 

He also beeps at strangers as he drives past and waves leaving them wondering who it was.

 

He says to one of the kids that they are not eating this week as it was their turn last week! - this one in a very loud voice usually whilst waiting at the check out in Asda.

 

What I do like though is when we are walking down the street he will say good morning or good afternoon to everyone we meet.

 

Life is never dull with him around although it is often embarassing lol

 

Sue

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Guest MaryEMac

:oxD:(

When my husband was working away the other week he went for a drink and the man next to him ordered a drink. When asked if he wanted ice ,he asked if they had any fresh cos he didn't like the frozen stuff !!!

 

Mary

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Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

 

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

 

 

 

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

 

 

 

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

 

 

 

4. Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it 'In.'

 

 

 

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

 

 

 

6. In the memo field of all your cheques, write ' For smuggling diamonds'

 

 

 

7. Finish all your sentences with 'In accordance with the prophecy.'

 

 

 

8. Don't use any punctuation.

 

 

 

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

 

 

 

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

 

 

 

11. Specify that your drive-through order Is 'to go.'

 

 

 

12. Sing along at the opera..

 

 

 

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

 

 

 

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day..

 

 

 

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

 

 

 

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

 

 

 

17. When the money comes out the cashpoint, scream, 'I Won!, I Won!'

 

 

 

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, 'Run for your lives, they're loose!!'

 

 

 

19. Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.'

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He also beeps at strangers as he drives past and waves leaving them wondering who it was

 

LOL,

I also do that one, its actually rather funny in an odd kind of way LOL

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All these remind me of my husband's late grandfather who we all adored. He would be the one who went into a hardware shop and ask for a 'left-handed bell crank lever'.

 

Once, some years ago, he and his wife (who celebrated their golding wedding) went to visit their middle-aged son who at the time was a well respected senior partner in a solicitors' practice. My husband's grandfather walked up to their son's secretary and in with a 'plum in his mouth' voice asked 'could you tell Mr xxxxxxxxx his parents are here and they'd like to get married!' His poor, long suffering wife!!

 

I have the fondest memories of being told this story many, many times at subsequent family gatherings.

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My 14 year old granddaughter told me that she felt sooooo silly. She just doesn't seem to have learnt anything during her French lessons at school. This year she had to choose her options at school. The French teacher seemed really relieved that she wasn't continuing with French and he said to her "Why have you found this subject so hard". She answered "because I can't understand what they are saying"

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:o I was trying to be all serious reading this forum in work today, and instead i have been laughing and eyes watering as i recognise some of the things my family and friends do. Staff think ive gone mad!

 

I sometimes wave at people when im getting a lift of my friend, if they stare at traffic lights, they mostly wave back. xD

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