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Funny Things Children Say


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Posted

Overheard in Edinburgh. Small child points to a planter on a windowsill beside which two big blokes are having a quiet drink. "PANSIES" she shouted and the two men whipped their head up, one almost drowning in his pint. Adult "No darling, they are petunias" They walked on and the look on the men's faces was priceless. Obviously some sort of plant identification was going on, but it was one of those 'wish I'd had a camera' moments!

  • Like 5
Posted

One of my lovely little boys is always in the car park when I arrive (waiting to walk his big sister to school) - he always rushes over to me as soon as I appear......I'm slightly worried that i have made him as weather obsessed as me - we always end up discussing the weather conditions! :blink: xD

Sooooo yesterday......he rushes over as usual

 

Him: It's raining again

Me: I know, I don't like getting wet, do you?

Him: after thinking for a while.......Well, I do like a warm bath!

 

How sweet is that?! :1b

  • Like 2
Posted

A little girl brought her bear in today, 'What's it called?' I asked her when she gave it to me to look at 'Suggs' she said and dashed off. I handed it to another member of staff to admire, and she too called out to the little girl "What did you say it's called?" 'Suggs' was the reply again. Thinking perhaps the parents were fans of 'Madness' we let it go and chatted to her on and off about Suggs, his lovely hat etc. At hometime Mum arrived and picked up all her things, 'Don't forget Suggs' one of the children shouted. 'Oh yes, don't forget Fudge' Mum said. Ah. ok.

  • Like 1
Posted

following on from the discussion in the SEN/inclussion section about a child who licks everything we have a child who eats everything, plastic/wood/glue/glitter/sand etc.

 

recently when playing with the stickle bricks I was getting the children to do a treasure hunt "argh me hearties can you find me a learge yellow square for me treasure box arghhhhh"...that sort of thing Children would find the appropriate stickle brick.....as we played I got more complex with my pirate captain requests....If you have stickle bricks you will know that there is a small piece a bit like a triangle but the hypotenuse (Now theres a word for you!) is not straight but concave (curves in slightly). The child who found it picked it up and said "Is this a triangle?" I looked and said well it does look a bit like one but it looks like one someones taken a bite out of...at which point another child sighed and said in a big voice "I expect it was XXXXX!" :P

  • Like 3
Posted

we were talking aqbout dinosaurs yesterday............ and what they liked to eat. One child suggested 'people!!

 

I suggested that people weren't around when the dinosaurs were, so maybe they had to find other things to eat instead?? what did they think?? Freddie piped up with, 'I KNOW they didn't eat people ( big pause)...........and they didn't eat people because people have EYEBALLS and eyeballs are horrible to eat!'..................I have to admit, at this point I virtually collapsed on the floor in a fit of giggles :)

Posted

My friend told me yesterday of something her now 22 year said when she was about 8.

She came home from school and said I have to tell everyone how I got my middle name. My friend said 'but you havent got a middle name', 'yes I have' her daughter replied, 'no, you havent' said mom, 'I have' shouted daughter, 'well what is it then?' asked mom 'Fur' she answered.

Her name is Jennifer...Jenny Fur xD

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Posted

3 girls playing in the wooden house today...climbing out of the window...trying not to let us see, obviously thinking they were going to be told no! anyway one of them saw me and sat down quickly (looking guilty xD ) anyway i said it was fine as long as they were careful......."oh it's ok we've got a stepping stone here....for safety reasons" they said......OMG what have i done to these children :o :rolleyes: xD

  • Like 6
Posted

I overheard this conversation on the ks1 corridor.

 

Mum - 'So what day is it tomorrow?'

Child - 'ermm don't know!'

Mum - 'come on you know what's special about tomorrow!'

Child - '...no!'

Child then smacks mum! (No reason for it.)

Mum - 'don't smack me, come on what special about tomorrow!'

Child - 'dont know!'

Mum - 'its the 21st, your birthday tomorrow.'

Child - 'oooohhhhh is it! Oh yeah I forgot.'

 

Ermm how can you forget your own birthday, both mum and I were giggling that the child that they had forgotten their birthday.

  • Like 1
  • 2 months later...
Posted

A little girl said "I'm going to be 4 on my birthday", I replied "I'm going to be 44 on mine, and that's much older than you isn't it ?"......after some thought she replied "um yes you'll be going to heaven with my cat and my granny soon". :'(

 

Think the one that will always stay with me though from many years ago was when a boy ang girl were in the toilet:

 

B was washing his hands, minding his own business and g still sat on loo out of the blue says "my mums got a fanny"' b turns to her and asks "you're mums got a funny what ?"

  • Like 5
Posted

Oh mouse that did make me laugh and reminded me of one of our little girls who said to another when they were washing their babies "our baby came out of my mummy's fanny" the other little girl's face was an absolute picture - along the lines of a stunned salmon!

  • Like 2
Posted

Oh I just love all these - and could add loads from my own children!! My favourite being from my now 10 years old when she was 4.....

 

She was watching 'Chitty chitty bang bang' and rather excitedly called me in and rewound it saying..... "mum, quick you have got to watch this bit.... it is so funny..... watch..... look..... this chicken..... look..... it's only got 2 legs".

 

Still not sure what she was expecting!!

 

Bless....

  • Like 3
Posted

what a way to start the term with another classic, one the mums told me her little boy and his sister were playing paralympics in the garden , mum asked what disability they had - his sister age 6 says " I have one arm", mum asks boy aged nearly 4 " I only have one head!" :D ::1a :D

now i know the phrase being 2 faced or growing another head but well ...... laughed so much

  • Like 5
Posted

Well last week - day 2. One of my new ones told me I couldn't be a 'real' teacher because I didn't run between inside and outside checking on all the different children all the time!

 

And, I was just on the phone to my sister whose eldest starts school tomorrow. They had their home visit this afternoon and my sister says she's been anxious about it since she first heard about them. She made sure she hoovered this morning and then her next worry was what they (her and my nephew) were going to play. The time of the visit was when he'd usually be watching a bit of cbeebies for some down time but she really didn't want his new teacher to arrive and see him watching TV. So, no TV! She didn't want it to look as if she was a 'pushy parent' and sit him down with a book for when they arrived. The doorbell rings and she went to let his new teacher and TA in only to turn round and discover that the thing he'd chosen to get out was... the chess set!

 

They did ask if he could play and she hastily explained that no, what he really liked was moving the pieces around and then 'bossing' whichever victim was playing with him!

  • Like 6
  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

My classroom becomes the dinner hall every day and today I called one of the Y1s by name to warn him that running to get his tray wasn't a good plan. One of the other Y1s looked at me in awe and said "How do you know our names?"

 

Ummm, well because you were all in my class last year?! The same child has on several occasions since term started said things like "I used to be in here" , "I used to sit on these baby chairs!" like he's telling me something new. Nice to know I had an impact! :huh: ^_^xD

  • Like 3
Posted

We gave one of our 3 year olds some lemon squash at snack time. He tasted it, looked up and said "this is genius! it's delicious. I like this fizzy lemon" (it wasn't fizzy!) but it did make us all laugh including the child

  • Like 2
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

i had a little 3 yr old come to me with a baby doll in her arms, she said "can you look after my baby for me cos shes asleep" - i said "of course - you were very good at getting baby to sleep " to which she replied "it IS ONLY a DOLL you know and is not real" lol

  • Like 4
  • 1 month later...
Posted

A couple for you...

 

My nephew, age 4 started school in September. His school are evidently learning sounds at exactly the same time as I'm doing them with my class. He was up for the weekend to visit granny and in the middle of something said "That starts with 'nnnn' and did the action." I tried not to be too teachery but said if he knew 's' and did action, he nodded excitedly so I asked about and acted the other half dozen sounds I knew he'd have done. He nodded enthuasiastically at each one then said in awe "Aunty Helen, you're clever!"

 

And today a little girl in my class...

 

next I will be 5, then 6, then 7, then 8, then 9, then 10 and I'll be REALLY old! Couldn't help but agree with a smile. It was followed by one of the boys telling us his brother was 10 and that his sister was 14 and she was REALLY, REALLY old!

  • Like 3
Posted

My nephew is also 4 and has just started school, as I have, albeit as the teacher. He really didn't believe I could be a teacher until I called one day after school with my fob, pen drive and pen round my neck on a lanyard. Suddenly he smiled and told me I was a real teacher now because I had a teacher pen! Seems I have the same pen as his teacher so therefore I am a teacher - and I thought it was the PGCE I did!

Posted

Hehe!

 

I was corrected today by a 3 year old. She was washing the glass florist pebbles after they'd been used in the playdough. She asked what she could use to dry them on, and I suggested one of the dark blue towels. "Actually,"she said, "you do know that colour is indigo, don't you? "

  • Like 6
Posted

Well these are the highlights of the Y1 trip to Blackpool Zoo.

 

At the lion enclosure. the male lion decided to have a big hug with the female. Well once child said 'oh whats happening?' Adults 'oh just having a big cuddle'.

 

Later on at lunch time. Child comes back from the toilets and said 'I've seen a pork pie!' (he ment a porpine)

 

On the bus back stuck in traffic. child says 'miss, miss, whats does that say?' pointing to the sign on the window. Me 'oh the emergency exit' child, 'whats that? is it if we have a crash?' yeah i say. wise one that! Then said 'well where the hammer then? hahahaha.

  • Like 2
Posted (edited)

My darling 4 year old daughter went to a princess party at the weekend. In her party bag she had a little pot of fairy dust. On telling her what it was she gasped and said ' will it make me fly?' adorable!

Edited by laura
  • Like 3
Posted

A little girl was in the toilet today and two lads were messing about in the basin. As she pulled up her pants she stared at the lads then looked at me, rolled her eyes, shook her head and said 'Nightmare arent they?'

Yep :D

  • Like 7
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Like so many others we've been rehearsing our nativity play. The wise men are doing their bit... "I bring gold", "I bring frankincense" and "I bring myrrh" when one of the camels adds "I bring...umm. flowers!" and my star starts bouncing around saying "I could give him starlight!"

 

So sweet. What was funnier was that the 'additions' were far too quiet to be heard by anyone other than me so the other staff were then all wondering why I'm spluttering and desperately trying to contain my laughter!

  • Like 7
Posted

Mary had to have an emergency Caesarean section a few years ago....the shepards had made it to the stable but baby Jesus was still on the floor behind the curtain :/

 

Practicing yesterday, the kings gave normal gifts and a younger one watching shouted out "and I've got cheese'

  • Like 6

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