AnonyMouse_19762 Posted December 6, 2012 Share Posted December 6, 2012 S'pose this is more of an 'aww sweet' moment rather than really funny....... I was reading the 'Christmas story' to a small group of children in our book corner this morning.........we had reached the part where Mary lays baby Jesus in the manger - so I explained that there was no bed for him and a manger is the thing that animals eat from and that Mary and Joseph made it 'comfy' with hay....... 'L' aged 3.6 said..... "It would be 'andy (handy) if that Joseph 'comed' to my daddy's workshop store 'e could get some wood and make 'im a bed"!!! 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_19762 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 My grandaughter (aged 11) is the sweetest little girl - bright, happy etc. etc. - as a family we have often had conversations along the line of 'how long can we hope that she stays like this, will be so sad if she turns into a stroppy teenager' :blink: So yesterday evening she was busy doing something or other on her ipad - her daddy (my son) asked her a question and she gave a pretty 'snippy' reply..... I raised my eyebrows at son and he said "yeah I know she's verging".......... GD says "oh I know what that means" Me "what darling" GD "Virgin, I know what it means" Me (really not wanting to pursue this any further) - "Oh right OK" GD (clearly determined to share) "yes it means someone who has never been in love" Phew - so she is still sweet and innocent after all 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_26037 Posted January 17, 2013 Share Posted January 17, 2013 So sweet - love the innocent ones. I had one today too. We were chatting about things which have buttons at home (sort of ICT lesson) and no one had mentioned dishwasher. I was giving hints along the lines of "When you've had your tea and need to do the dishes some people put them in the sink with washing up liquid and hot water and some people..." I was interrupted after 'hot water' with "Oh you mean the old-fashioned way!" TA and I both fell about laughing! Just for the record - I always do washing up the old-fashioned way - no space for a dishwasher! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_44055 Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 My eldest had a fascination for playing with sequins when she was 3. Hubby and I are both teachers, I have nursery and he teaches a variety of subjects in a secondary school. One day she overheard him telling me something about a maths lesson he was teaching on the Fibbonacci Sequence. From then on for the whole summer she would announce to us that she was going to go and play with her Fibbonacci Sequins! Mel x 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_6361 Posted January 21, 2013 Share Posted January 21, 2013 you will love this one! Miss H 'I know your big brother x and y'. Boy oh yeah my big brother and bigger brother and my mum is big middle sized oh and my giant dad'. Ah dear year 1 children are just too funny for their own good! hehehehe 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_19762 Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 One of my lovely three olds produced a super painting today........all his own idea........concentric circles using all available colours....... My deputy was admiring it......he said "yeh, well it took me two hours to do that"! Oh I could have 'eaten him'! :1b 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_13453 Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Changing a child's nappy today and a voice from inside the toilet cubicle "are you going to be long Mrs ..... Because that smells like silage, actually!" 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 two 3 year old friends had a bit of a rocky moment today, one walked away saying 'I am so through with you', the other said to nearest adult 'hmm it must be the time of the month' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_3139 Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 We've played with compost today. I'd just finished sweeping it up when a little girl came to me and said 'can I help ya? 'Oh, sweetheart, I've finished, but you can help me with something else'. She looked at me, actually chewing her lip, then bent down, picked up a handfull of compost from the tray and dropped it on the floor. Then she said 'can I help ya?. Of course you can darling, thank you. She's going to go far that girl 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_19762 Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 R aged 4: "look I can tread on one leg"! (as he stood on one foot!) :1b 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_39602 Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 new boy telling staff about his little sister ' yeh we gonna sell her to a man down the road ! - mm safeguarding issue here ! or was her crying just too much ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_26037 Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 I love all these. I have one too - although possibly funny for not quite the same reason. My HT was showing our chair of governors round this afternoon and walked through my class to talk about some recent purchases and then went outside to talk about plans for the outside area. I was doing the register and then collective worship so all was quiet. The conversation went something like this... Boy 1: Who was that man with Mr B? Boy 2: Is he a visitor? Me: That was Mr H...he's our chair of governors and they help to look after the school. (HT and Mr H just walking back into the class at that point). Boy 2: Hello Mr H! Mr H replies 'hello' and subsequently gets a whole chorus of hellos. They then leave the classroom, are just out the classroom when... Boy 2: Hey! He's got no hair!!! I just snorted with laughter so of course they all did too then had to tell me about people they knew who had no hair and how it's called 'bald' and and and... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_42713 Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 My niece came out with a classic whilst having tea. Niece : "what's this?" Me: "It's called Bubble and squeak, it's potatoes and cabbage" Niece "it's yummy" a few moments later... Niece: "I like mice,I don't eat mice" Me: "No, we don't eat mice" Niece: "Just their squeak" 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_35605 Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 Child one : "I have sand in my pocket." Child two : "Yes, I like dandelions and forgets!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_19762 Posted April 29, 2013 Share Posted April 29, 2013 Not so sure that I think this is funny at all I had stuck a post it note to my door that reads 'Play dough' (this to remind me not to leave it in my fridge but to take it to pre-school tomorrow)........my grandson looked at it and said "oh is your memory getting a little hazy" Wonder if I could get away with giving him a swift 'clip round the ear' 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_35585 Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 One of little girls is toilet training. I said to her mum yesterday that she had used the toilet twice during the session. I later got a text from mum saying "I said to Daisy that I'd heard she had been good at using the toilet" and she replied "why could you hear me weeing then mummy?" 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_19762 Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 We have added some little candles to our play-dough table - this morning my deputy asked the children if they knew what candles are made of - there were lots of great suggestions.........but none of them quite 'right' so my deputy told the children that they are made of wax........ Millie aged 4 - "oh, like the wax in our ears"?! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_19762 Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 'My' children are 'on a roll' this week - we were talking about eggs this morning (as you do!) - children were telling me how they like their eggs cooked - one of my gorgeous three year old boys told me: "I like them strangled" Fabulous - scrambled eggs will always be known to me as 'strangled eggs' from now on 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_13453 Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 One of my 3 year olds came over to give me a hug today, big hug, then, "can I give you a kiss Mrs ...?" Yes, if you like, that would be nice. Angled my head so she got my cheek. I thanked her. "Do you know, Mrs .... I think that's the first time I have given you a kiss!" I think you could be right, I will treasure it always and keep it forever. Girl, head on one side gave me a look, "you know, Mrs .... Sometimes you just have to wash your face, you know!" Tee hee 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_26037 Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 In collective worship we were reading the story of Jesus healing the lepers where 9 go on to celebrate with others and the tenth comes back to say thank you. I asked "Why was Jesus so pleased that the tenth man came back?" The answer... "because he was really proud to be thank youd!" So sweet. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_9650 Posted June 27, 2013 Share Posted June 27, 2013 Not the child this time - the parent (honestly what is the matter with them) One of our "less tall" 3 year old gentlemen used the toilet for the first time. Proud practitioners tell Mum how clever he is (she and potty training are strangers to each other) and how well he had done to stand up and use the toilet to do a wee. Mum - "How did he do that - are your toilets smaller than the one I have at home?" Me - "No they are the same size" (Mum goes out to check this for herself and returns) Mum - "What did you do send him up a ladder?" I know he's not the tallest of young men but honestly the mental image was priceless - my deputy and myself just dissolved into v. unprofessional fits of giggles whilst his Mum grappled with how he had managed to "perform" a wee standing up (I hasten to add that we do have a step stool - but a ladder I ask you ) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_26037 Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 (edited) I haven't been very well the last couple of days - just a fluey cold but it's left me with a horrible cough which leaves me gasping for air. Today after a coughing and spluttering fit I was met with a chorus of "Are you ok? Miss D" and "Would you like some water?" I have such a lovely class this year. Then one little girl said: "I think we should get a new teacher." "Why?" I asked "Just to be on the safe side!" she said! A little boy added a moment later that he thought we should get a new teacher so I could go and have a rest - told him it sounded like a good plan to me! Edited July 3, 2013 by HelenD26 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_19762 Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 'Just to be on the safe side' priceless! One of my gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous little boys on seeing a picture of a peacock this morning, told me with such confidence "I know what that is......it's a Key Pock" - sweet - they will always be key pocks to me from now on! :1b 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_26037 Posted July 3, 2013 Share Posted July 3, 2013 Love it Sunnyday. I just remembered another funny from today. I've just started counting in tens with them and was displaying then on the board. When we got to 50 one girl (actually the same one as before) said "That's how old my dad is!" I was then besieged by a chorus of "My mum/dad/granddad's that old" for 40 and 70. Their parents would love me - nothing is sacred! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_26037 Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 Conversation with my 5 year old nephew at the weekend... J: Aunty Helen, why aren't you married? Me: No one wants to marry me! J: Why not? Me: I don't know. (pause) J: Maybe you should try to be nice! Another moment later... J: When I am big I will marry you. He looked so sweet and serious that I bent down and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He gave me a 'look' and said. "I won't even wipe that off!" 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 23, 2013 Share Posted July 23, 2013 I have just returned to preschool after a holiday and a parent asked me where I had been as her daughter had told her I'd gone to 'Chicken', yep pretty close as I'd been to Turkey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_390 Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 Today was my first day with my new Reception children that I teach once a week. I have heard THE best version of my name which is Mrs Cuthbertson - not easy for 4 year olds to remember or say - one little chap called me Mrs Cookerybook all morning! 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 Had a couple of amusing conversations today. First was when a boy in my Nursery class found me outside, crawled onto my lap and whispered "Guess what? I have a baby in my belly!" Second was when a boy in Reception busily built himself a bridge from bricks outside. I asked what the bridge was for and he told me it was to escape from crocodiles. I said "what do you do if a crocodile tries to climb on your bridge?" the boy replied "like this" and he turned, waggled his finger and shouted "bugger off!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_5970 Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 We have a little boy, just turned three, who has been expecting a baby for some time now. If you're lucky, he'll lift up his T-shirt to show you. He tells us all it's a baby boy called Isaac and is "coming out on Friday"! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 Boy in my class approaches me, looking through a magnifying glass. Boy: I can see you, Miss ... Me: oh yes! What do I look like? Boy: a person! In hindsight, maybe I should have posed the question slightly differently... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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