Funny Things Children Say

[AnonyMouse_11396]

Picture this, a little one started last week and was upset for a little while on separating from his mummy.

Today he came in and another child was a little upset, he turned to the crying child and said " it's not that bad you know".

Don't you just love it.

[AnonyMouse_2732]

Not the child this time - the parent (honestly what is the matter with them)

 

One of our "less tall" 3 year old gentlemen used the toilet for the first time.

 

Proud practitioners tell Mum how clever he is (she and potty training are strangers to each other) and how well he had done to stand up and use the toilet to do a wee.

 

Mum - "How did he do that - are your toilets smaller than the one I have at home?"

 

Me - "No they are the same size" (Mum goes out to check this for herself and returns)

 

Mum - "What did you do send him up a ladder?"

 

I know he's not the tallest of young men but honestly the mental image was priceless - my deputy and myself just dissolved into v. unprofessional fits of giggles whilst his Mum grappled with how he had managed to "perform" a wee standing up (I hasten to add that we do have a step stool - but a ladder I ask you )

 

Made me smile! My son, while at Playgroup, was very tiny but very independent - he didn't want to sit on a toilet, as "Daddy stands up!" so he found his own solution - the Playleader at the time found him balancing on the pipework to perform in one of the urinals. :blink: . She quickly put a step by them as well as in the cubicles. The Centre Committee were highly amused when she regaled them with the tale, but had a lower urinal fitted quite quickly as the building was used by the local Beaver Cub group and they felt the younger boys would probably appreciate the facility!!

[AnonyMouse_19762]

My seven year old granddaughter started 'soccer school' this evening (why soccer :blink: we're British surely it should be football?)

 

Anyway back to my story........

 

E: guess what happened nana - Michael said a swear word

Me: (wearing my very best shocked and horrified face): well that's not nice

E: Yes it was this one (she then proceeds to 'air write' the word)

Me: well that's really not good

E: (after some deep thinking) Yes, I'm not sure but I think he might have said this one too (more air writing)

 

Tell you what - her spelling is very good :rolleyes:

[AnonyMouse_26037]

Oh Sunnyday that made me smile - a few years ago when I had Y1/2 I was suddenly regaled with gasps and cries of "X swored!" Poor little girl getting distressed by the attention. I called her over and gently asked what word she'd said - I had a group of children who were convinced that 'stupid' was a swear word. She wasn't a swearing kind of girl! Her reply through tears trickling down her cheeks was "I didn't know it was swearing; mummy and daddy say it when something goes wrong." Poor thing - it was swearing (although not very severe) and she clearly had no idea what she'd said and was using it appropriately for the context.

 

I have a story of my own for today - we've just started 'Senses' in science so I was asking if anyone knew what they were. No one appeared to have a clue apart from one boy who said "A sense of smell?" This opened the floodgates and I had a range of suggestions including a 'sense of wind' which made me smile but then one of my lovely (and often quite serious year ones) quizzically suggested "A sense of humour?"!

[AnonyMouse_41997]

Driving back from school, one of the kids notice a duvet at the side of the road!

 

He said oh look that doggy must have got run over by a car! He stops and thinks for a few seconds, before replying no I got that wrong it's a polar bear do you think we should stop and help him!

 

Still laughing!!!!!

[AnonyMouse_26037]

Talking with my year ones today about the celebration sweets we are going to make next week (basically melted chocolate with their choice of additions - biscuit, raisins, cherries etc). Today was taste testing (very important !) and planning. I asked them what things they thought we needed to do to be safe when we were cooking or making food. I was met with a loud chorus of "Wash your hands!" Then I asked for other suggestions - I'm thinking oven gloves, using a knife safely.

 

One little girl says:

 

"Wear a life jacket in case we fall in!" I couldn't not laugh and replied with "I don't think we'll be melting quite that much chocolate!"

[AnonyMouse_30128]

today talking to one of the girls about her family....

what do you call your Dad (italian family) papa she said

and what does your brother call him (stepbrother) Spin she said (part of his name)

and what does your Mum call your Dad

she smiled broadly flicked her hair and said Babe!!!

 

 

just made me laugh!

[AnonyMouse_11396]

Talking to a group of children whilst we were busy at the creative table, that perhaps when the leaves begin to change colour and fall that they could collect them up at home etc and bring them in to play with.

One of my little ones said " my mum won't do that" to which I replied well why was that, " because they have to go in the composter".

Love it love it love it.

[Guest]

Was visiting the ladies room this afternoon and a 3yrs old was already in the cubicle next to me. The convo went something like this

 

Girl " are you having a wee too?"

Me "yes I am"

Girl " is it a green or a blue one?"

Me " just a wee"

Girl " are you having poo?"

Me "no"

Girl " you should, its fun"

 

I had no answer to that

[AnonyMouse_13453]

Oh that did make me laugh. So true! Makes me think of my daughter who once commented that her dog had 'post poo happiness' as she was jumping about and grinning! (Dog not daughter)

[Guest]

3 year-old girl goes up to the basket of conkers, saying "I'm playing with the plonkers!"

 

Was VERY hard to keep a straight face and say "Are you playing with the conkers?", but I managed it!

[Guest]

I know I've been posting in this thread a lot, but this one was too funny to not write about!

 

I was explaining to my little ones today that we were going for a walk to the allotments to see if we could find a pumpkin. I was showing them a picture of a pumpkin in a book as I said this. A boy then piped up "I've found a pumpkin! It's next to your finger!"

Bless.

[Guest Spiral]

My fave obs;

"Neooow, neoow, neoow, waah waah waah, neeooow, wheee"!!!!!

 

Who needs props when a 3 three year old plays air guitar...slash, eat your heart out!

[Guest]

"When my daddy poorly my daddy had poorly tescos."

[AnonyMouse_6361]

Now this is a good one.

 

Child one has a Scotland flag.

During the show and tell...

Child 2 says 'my great grandad was eaten by the Loch Ness monster!'

[AnonyMouse_47865]

Still giggling about this:

First child, "I'm on the Titanic. I'm the king of the world."

Second child: "watch out we are going to hit an ice cube."

[AnonyMouse_26037]

I was on PPA yesterday afternoon and went back into the class to get something. I spotted one of my little boys looking somewhat forlorn and sad. He'd only hurt his finger but they're all pretty shattered and low and poorly at the moment and he needed a hug. Anyway, I decided to take him for a bit of 'distraction therapy' so we went to the staffroom with a box of numicon which he's not seen before. The conversation went something like this...

Me: This is the staffroom.

Him: Oh, I didn't know that.

Me: It's where the teachers eat their dinner and do some work.

Him: And their exercises?

Me (trying not to giggle at the very idea): They could do...

Him: Or do they do them out there on the 'big playground'? (we don't go on the 'big' playground hardly ever so it's something of a mystery)

Me: Maybe, what kind of exercises do you think they should do?

Him: Hmmm... Star jumps - I do star jumps, I'm good at them!

I just love the idea of our staff room being for exercises - especially with our staff!

Edited November 30, 2013 by HelenD26

[AnonyMouse_30128]

Mum doing shapes at home :mellow: has a square and a rectangle.....points to the rectangle and says what's this one?

child struggling so older brother trying to be helpful says the one beginning with 'r' (as in ar!)

younger sibling looks confused...then moment of enlightenment...

 

ARSE she says!

[AnonyMouse_26037]

Some of my children were having a discussion (read heated argument !) about whether it was winter or not. So we started talking about what clues we had that winter was on its way. My favourite suggestion...

"Onesies!"

 

This was from the same boy who thinks the staff room is where the grown ups do their exercises. I can see he's going to be contributing a lot to this thread this year!

[AnonyMouse_19762]

Oh meant to share a gem from my youngest granddaughter - she is another regular contributor to this thread :1b

So.......she is using an app on ipad - some piano thingy and she is playing Beethoven's 'Fur Elise'.......

I told her that I thought that was just brilliant and asked her if she knew the name of the piece.......

"Oh yes (with great authority) it's called For Elsie"

[AnonyMouse_13453]

I believe she is exactly right, that that's what it does mean in translation. Clever girl!

[AnonyMouse_19782]

How much better Elise sounds to Elsie! I was at school with an Elsie, at a time when that would not have been particularly "cool" type of name to have. Maud was supposed to be quite a chic name for a little girl in France, somehow doesn't conjour up the same image in this country!

[AnonyMouse_19762]

Another contribution from my youngest granddaughter - not so much funny really as completely lovely......

Recently she fell down the stairs at her house - no harm done - my son managed (somehow) to catch her - anyway this led to him telling her a story about her grandad (Mr S) falling down the stairs lots of harm done - but hey he lived to tell the tale! :1b She has been simply fascinated by this, and last night she said....

E: How old was grandad when he fell down the stairs?

Me: Oh I'm not really sure - it was about fifteen years ago

E: That's when mummy and daddy fell in love, fifteen years ago........

Sweet - eh? :1b

[AnonyMouse_26037]

My year ones writing sentences in RE this afternoon. One girl, desperately trying to stretch herself and use 'because' but had written the second half of the sentence first. Something like:

because he loved God he was famous (only it made less sense). I was talking her through how to write it and she grinned and said:

"I got a bit infused!"

[AnonyMouse_13453]

Oh and isn't it funny when you hear yourself quoted ......

 

Child goes to the toilet during lunch time and returned quite quickly...

 

Me - have you flushed the toilet and washed your hands?

 

No verbal reply but child stopped in the action of sitting down and returned to the toilet.

 

Child age 3 sitting beside me " that'll be a 'no' then!"

[AnonyMouse_26037]

I did an assessment activity for my year ones to see what they had remembered about the properties of shapes. I gave them the properties (sides and corners) and asked them for the shape name. Apparently...

an 8 sided, 8 cornered shape is a squangle

and

a 3 sided, 3 cornered shape is a triaglegon

Personally, I think they are better names and in my head I shall be referring to all octagons as squangles from now on!

[Guest]

Last week I used our public swimming pool and met one of my children who had just finished her swimming lesson. I jokingly told her that I was about to have a swimming lesson too and she quickly ran to mum saying, 'should Nicki be looking after me at school when she can't even swim?'.

[AnonyMouse_19762]

I did an assessment activity for my year ones to see what they had remembered about the properties of shapes. I gave them the properties (sides and corners) and asked them for the shape name. Apparently...

an 8 sided, 8 cornered shape is a squangle

and

a 3 sided, 3 cornered shape is a triaglegon

Personally, I think they are better names and in my head I shall be referring to all octagons as squangles from now on!

Squangle - love it!

 

Last week I used our public swimming pool and met one of my children who had just finished her swimming lesson. I jokingly told her that I was about to have a swimming lesson too and she quickly ran to mum saying, 'should Nicki be looking after me at school when she can't even swim?'.

[AnonyMouse_13453]

Yep, squangles for me too!! ::1a

[AnonyMouse_26037]

Yep, squangles for me too!! ::1a

To add to the amusement. I texted a couple of friends the squangles definition - didn't include all the detail of how it came about as I was texting. Two of them sent outraged 'What?!!' type replies because they thought it was something I'd come across in the new national curriculum!