Funny Things Children Say

[AnonyMouse_26037]

I had a boy the other week who came in at lunchtime because he'd "bumped the back of his forehead."!

[Guest]

These are all hilarious!

 

We had a little boy who used to come up to people and say things really quietly like: "My daddy has a big white mercedes, I'm going to put some food in the road and you will go and get it. Then I will knock you over in my daddies mercedes" - he is 3.

One day I bumped into one of the children that was walking next to me and the child said: "Hey, your bottom just pushed me!"

When I worked as a nanny the postman rang the bell. The little girl (2) ran downstairs with me and then said in all honesty to the postman: "My mummy does poo poo in the toilet" - needless to say he had a good laugh and I assumed I was mummy.. NICE!

[AnonyMouse_19762]

So pleasing to see that my little group are really on the ball (not!)

R - brought a book in with maps in it (no not an atlas - just a book with some maps) - he confidently pointed out Australia, New Zealand......and so on.....

Me: Oh I wonder if we can find Brazil, who knows what's happening in Brazil at the moment (looking intently at a little boy wearing an England shirt!)

No answer.......

Me: Callum's got a special shirt on that might give us a clue........something very special is happening in Brazil........

All now looking intently at Callum's shirt.......but still no answer......

Me: (never one to give up easily :blink: ) So Callum is wearing an England Football shirt - so what do you think might be happening in Brazil?

R: Is it a storm?

W: I know, I know, it is a storm and it's raining........

:blink: :blink: :blink: :blink: :blink:

Edited June 13, 2014 by sunnyday

[AnonyMouse_13453]

Nice to know that not everyone gives a hoot!

[AnonyMouse_6361]

Oh early years children are funny.

 

Talking over the fence into the early years playground:

 

Child A: miss I'm coming in year 1 soon.

Child B: me too coming soon

Child A: yeah too

Child C: I'm a 99!

 

Child C is a nursery child and don't they just come out with some stuff. Are you a nice ice cream dear.

[AnonyMouse_26037]

Remind me never to ask my class what famous people they know - the answers... Me and one girl said her dad was.

 

My Y1s after much talking drew a picture of a famous person and then did some writing to say why they were famous. One girl drew the Queen and wrote. This is the Queen. She is famous because she is headmaster of the world.

 

I'm going to remind my own HT of that if he ever gets a little too full of himself ;-)

[AnonyMouse_13453]

So it's the time of year when I'm writing the children's reports and recording their thoughts about the things they have enjoyed doing with us, and any concerns they have about moving to school

Me: so is there anything you think you are going to need help with?

Lucy: well, the ironing, obviously

[AnonyMouse_30128]

looking at butterflies in the tank...".look the butterfly's in his canoe!"

[AnonyMouse_3139]

Two of our 4 yr olds have struck up a really close friendship, holding hands, sitting and sitting and chatting.

J was stroking Ms leg as they sat in the garden and he said to her 'remember when we was kids..?'

[Guest]

Nice to know the funny things don't stop when the children leave early years. My partner's a Year 3 teacher and he was just marking some books and had to stop to show me this:

 

(children are writing about the battle of Boudica) "...and then they all fought in cold jester"

 

She means 'Colchester.' Bless.

[Guest]

Oh and one of my nursery children told my TA last week "I'm going up to the stretch room in September!" He means Reception!

[AnonyMouse_26037]

I spent the weekend with my sister and her children and we went to Packwood House (well worth a visit if you ever get the chance). Inside they had a challenge for the children to spot 9 Dalmatians placed in the rooms. My nephew loved it and was having a great time hunting for them and then calling out "I found another dimension!"

 

My sister and I kept giggling and the whole thing took on a distinct Doctor Who quality!

[AnonyMouse_5970]

I was sitting with a brother and sister at lunch yesterday. The older sister said "I'm having my bar now" (meaning a cereal bar). The younger brother delved into his lunch box and said "I haven't got a barn owl"!

[AnonyMouse_19762]

I was sitting with a brother and sister at lunch yesterday. The older sister said "I'm having my bar now" (meaning a cereal bar). The younger brother delved into his lunch box and said "I haven't got a barn owl"!

Laugh out loud moment for me!

[AnonyMouse_5970]

Laugh out loud moment for me!

Me too! The family are vegetarians as well, so no barn owls on the menu for them.

[AnonyMouse_29664]

A few weeks ago I was sitting next to a group of 4 year olds who were talking about going swimming. I asked one little girl if she liked swimming. She nodded vigorously and said, 'but I don't like going under the water because my mummy won't buy me any gobbles'!

[AnonyMouse_41997]

Visiting our local zoo one of the children turned to me and asked " have you ever been to hamsterdam"

[AnonyMouse_1469]

Last Thursday, we're sitting having snack. One of the few occasions you could have heard a pin drop. Then, quietly, but clear enough to be heard............'mama, just killed a man, put a gun against his head pulled the trigger now he's dead'........and so it went on ,louder until he reached a crecendo. My deputy and I were at this stage, trembling with laughter, but this child is a HUGE fan of Queen so we daren't. Round of applause when he finished though and then we were treated to 'fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go roundddddddddddddddd' Lovely. Suck THAT up, Ofsted!! :)

[Guest]

On a wet, miserable Friday we decided to have a "cinema" so I made little tickets for the kids, sat the seats in rows, closed the curtains, made it dark, showed them to their seats with a torch, took their tickets, gave them popcorn and we watched a DVD!!!

 

When a little boys mum came to collect him at the end of the day I said "E tell mummy what we had this afternoon??" To which he replied " oooh cock porn, we had cock porn " I was mortified and corrected him saying " we had POPCORN" !!!!!! It's a good job ofsted weren't visiting and mum thought it very funny!!!

[AnonyMouse_19920]

a little girl was following me back into the main room from our messy area, i heard her say (to herself)

"oh god, i really had enough today" lol .

[AnonyMouse_14268]

Ok last night my son went to his girlfriends house to cook tea with her (they are 15) We had a chat about how to make really good mash potato and to make sure the pork chops were cooked through thoroughly......two hours later I get a call asking "mum, can you boil carrots?" :huh: My first thought was "duh" but then when I thought about it, I always steam or roast my carrots, so not such a stupid question. Next question from his girlfriend, "Can you fry runner beans?" :blink: By this time I am imagining the fire brigade being called and me and her Mum on the front of the next days newspapers being held up as irresponsible parents!! I did have to giggle when my son said he had told his girlfriend that he did have a hot meal at home waiting for him!! (I had a pot of stew on the go.) She will learn quickly that the way to his heart is with food!! Apparently they ended up cooking the chops and when they were cooked they then started cooking the mash!! My mind boggles but it's the only way they are going to learn!!

[AnonyMouse_19762]

Oh bless - 'young love'........

[AnonyMouse_9650]

You did make me giggle Zigzag

My son loves mash - at times being on KP (kitchen patrol) has been a labour of love - after 25 years of loyal service I detest peeling and mashing spuds (he couldn't and still can't be persuaded to have Roast spuds or chips :huh: )

Whilst at Uni he discovered frozen mash in Iceland (the shop obviously - intrepid explorer he ain't ) to save HIMSELF the job of peeling and mashing :rolleyes:

[AnonyMouse_1469]

We were talking about wild animals yesterday at preschool and the children were discussing those we see on the park, so rabbits came up. Molly, who is 3 said' mummy found a rabbit that was run over on the road'.............here, i admit to a picture of road kill and I said ' oh dear, that's really sad isn't it. Maybe it wasn't watching the road carefully?'............Molly: oh no, he was alright, but he had a bad back leg, so mummy put him in a cage in the garden and was feeding him' ( hurrah, thinks I.......no death and destruction)..............so I commented on how good it was that mummy was taking such good care of the rabbit.

Then, in a moment worthy of The Royale family, Molly raised her eyebrows, shook her head and said, 'yeahhhhhhhhh, shame he started smelling funky and died..............daddy chucked him in the dustbin'..............I actually had to leave the room as I stifled a guffaw and my deputy had tears of laughter streaming down her eyes. Bless you Molly

[AnonyMouse_13453]

Haha, thought it was going to end up being 'one for the pot'

[AnonyMouse_14268]

Oh the conversations that were had around our gloop tray today!! A child is aware that a great uncle is dying so the conversation moves onto dying. So I talk about my cat who died, who I miss but can think happy thoughts about him, another child talks about their dog that died and the stories keep coming. Suddenly one little boy who has been listening the whole time say's..

"why don't you bring your cat to school?"

"well I cant because I buried him, sometimes when people or animals die we bury them" says I.

Little boy thinks about this for a moment.."well dig him up and bring him in"

"well no I couldn't do that because he will only be a skeleton now" says I wishing I could backtrack out of this conversation!!

"Why where has all his skin gone?" asks the boy

Funnily enough at this moment I am very distracted by something happening on the other side of the room!! :blink:

[AnonyMouse_3139]

My old deputy told me about an article she read some years ago of a nursery whos small animal had died (forget what it was).

The staff buried it with the children and then about a week or so later dug it up to show the children what dead means. Luckily we didnt have any small animals as a potential project :rolleyes:

[AnonyMouse_19762]

My old deputy told me about an article she read some years ago of a nursery whos small animal had died (forget what it was).

The staff buried it with the children and then about a week or so later dug it up to show the children what dead means. Luckily we didnt have any small animals as a potential project :rolleyes:

Nooooooo :blink: I really couldn't do that.......

[AnonyMouse_19782]

My old deputy told me about an article she read some years ago of a nursery whos small animal had died (forget what it was).

The staff buried it with the children and then about a week or so later dug it up to show the children what dead means. Luckily we didnt have any small animals as a potential project :rolleyes:

Could get away with all sorts back then

[AnonyMouse_26037]

My old deputy told me about an article she read some years ago of a nursery whos small animal had died (forget what it was).

The staff buried it with the children and then about a week or so later dug it up to show the children what dead means. Luckily we didnt have any small animals as a potential project :rolleyes:

Can I just clarify - when you say 'with the children' the children were assisting rather than being buried at the same time weren't they?! There wasn't anyone who disappeared briefly?