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Funny Things Children Say


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Right, so this week the children were very interested in the colour green, so towards the end of the week we brought in loads of green things, made green playdough, painted with green etc. and they really enjoyed it.

 

We set up a shop in our home corner with the vegetables and marked them with prices. There are 2 children in our shop with their teacher.

Suddenly one of the children points to the leek and says: "what is this supposed to be?" in quite a disgusting tone. So teacher explains this is a leek. It is a vegetable. The child picks up the leek and says "erm no I don't think this is a vegetable I think this is a broom :blink: - he turns the leek upside down and starts sweeping the floor with it. :D:D By this point I was laughing so hard. So his teacher keeps a straight face and says no no, it is a vegetable, you can eat it. The child drops the leek on the floor turns around and says: "Ugh I don't like vegetables anyways. They're disgusting." - He is vegetarian, so doesn't eat any meat or fish and can't have dairy!! :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

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  • 1 month later...

This one wasn't a say, it was a do.

 

We were outside yesterday afternoon and "M" (one of my key children) was stood at the closed door, watching my room leader tidy up (big glass pane in the door). I went to go and check the time then asked her what she was doing, so she turned her head to talk to me. While facing me, my room leader opened the door.

 

Cue Del Boy at the bar moment.

 

"M" fell in the door, flat on her face. My room leader and I burst out laughing, and after a couple of seconds of shock, "M" stood up and went "Deana!!" In an annoyed tone.

 

I was still laughing at it a few mins later.

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  • 5 weeks later...

Two girls came up to me, very proud

"We've tidied up the unicorn without anyone asking us to!"

Me: "That's lovely, what unicorn?!"

Them: "The unicorn on yellow table!" (with just a hint of a 'Duh' look and tone of voice - how could I possibly not know where the unicorn was?!)

I look over to yellow table only to see... a beautifully tidy box of numicon!

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Last Thursday, we're sitting having snack. One of the few occasions you could have heard a pin drop. Then, quietly, but clear enough to be heard............'mama, just killed a man, put a gun against his head pulled the trigger now he's dead'........and so it went on ,louder until he reached a crecendo. My deputy and I were at this stage, trembling with laughter, but this child is a HUGE fan of Queen so we daren't. Round of applause when he finished though and then we were treated to 'fat bottomed girls you make the rocking world go roundddddddddddddddd' Lovely. Suck THAT up, Ofsted!! :) :)

Browsing thru these lovely posts to lighten my load today...funding, fees,photos,new children,send,18 new learning journies...and this one really made me chuckle...being a lifelong Queen fan..privileged enough to have seen them live....can only assume mummy or daddy plays this in their car...love it !! a new generation....

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Daddy of the child is a HUGE fan of Queen, so yes!

here's my one for today:

I am still smiling at this:
'do you know that a long time ago, people thought the Earth was flat?' 'Yes, i did know that, it took very brave explorers to prove it wasn't'.............
'yes, it's round and it was the first lady who discovered it'.................
'err........do you mean Eve??'...................
'NO! ( giggles) Mrs Obama..........she's the first lady, and she discovered it' This is a conversation between me and my grand daughter Niamh (7). I have NO idea how she came to that conclusion, but I just LOVE it

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Child: Tracey.

Me: yes honey.

Child: what planet do you live on?

Me: earth, sweetheart

Child: what a coinenence, me too! *child skips off*

 

That made me chuckle.

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Despite the anxieties this week , the one to beat them all for me was yesterday at registration when asking children what staff were here and pointing to a colleague , one little girl shouted ' snake hips' , how we roared with laughter , my colleague was a little embarrassed as we had a new parent staying and playing but she found it just as amusing .

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i dont usually wear my glasses at work.....have only just got them. Had to put them on the other day to read one of those cards out of the yoyo bears packets! Lad opposite me roars with laughter ..." you look like an old lady!"......humm used to like him :angry:

That reminds me of the time when we were doing about different facial expressions and what a frown looked like. I tried to explain that when someone frowns they get lines between their eyebrows. Then I demonstrated and asked if they could see a couple of lines. One little boy said loudly and emphatically, "You've got lots of lines!"

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...

One is more sweet than funny but they both made me smile...

From one boy today

"Jesus died because someone put an itchy crown on him!"

The other is a bit of a saga...

Yesterday, much excitement as....

"Miss D!! We found a worm!"

I duly admired then went back to what I was doing with someone else only to overhear

"No! Don't kill it, that's unkind!" I went to investigate, reinforced the not killing message and helped one little boy decide where he could put the worm so it would be happy and safe!

Roll forward to this morning...

"Miss D!! The worm's still there!"

"Oh my goodness," I said, "It must really like being here" (making mental note to later remove sadly deceased worm!)

Later this morning, I go outside to find the little boy who (oh so gently) carried the worm to its safe place digging in the earth near it. When I asked what he was doing he explained:

"Well, I'm worried that the birds might eat the worm because its skin is showing so I'm making it a home and covering it up!"

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One of my key children came into nursery this morning and said "mummy's got a nappy in her pants". Mum laughed and went "no I haven't, I don't wear a nappy."

 

Child replies "yes you have mummy, my saw you put it in there this morning."

 

Mum went bright red. It's not a nappy, it was a sanitary towel.

 

Needless to say that was a little awkward.

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  • 2 weeks later...

It has been a somewhat hysterical day at school one way and another! I have a couple of things to share...

 

One little girl had made a brilliant lion cave out of half an empty tissue box. She stood at the front and explained it in detail talking about all the bits she'd put in and on it and what gave her the idea to all the other children. As she walked to take it back to her place (it was home time) one of the other children asked

"Why didn't you make a little door on the side so the lion could get in?"

Her reply...

"Well, because lions have paws, not hands and you need hands to open a door so if there was a door the lion couldn't get in or out!"

 

It was also the start of a new history topic (mainly aimed at my Y1s) so I was showing a photo of the historical figure we're going to be learning about and we were talking generally about it. Then I asked:

"Do you think this person lives now or long ago?" The general response was 'long ago' so I asked why. One child did say because it's black and white and I had a couple of other slightly confused responses. Then one girl put her hand up and said "Because whenever you show us a photo like this it's always someone from long ago!"

Cue me feeling mortified because clearly I haven't re-thought my approach to a new history topic for a while! :(

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  • 2 weeks later...

We've been (oddly enough!) learning about the Easter story in RE recently. I asked my children to think of things Jesus might have said at various points in the story. My two favourites answering "What do you think Jesus might have said after he was resurrected?" were:

Ta-da!!

and

Surprise!

Brilliant! xD

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Brilliant! xD

I texted the vicar to let him know and he loved them too. The display they are on will actually be going up in church apparently so we'll see what other people say. There were some beautifully poignant things from the children too. We were drawing faces to show how different characters felt at different points in the story and I let them pick whichever characters they wanted. Lots of Jesus of course and several frowning but smiling soldiers! A couple though had drawn God's face and explained that it was God being sad when he had to tell Jesus he was going to die.

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Not so much funny as incredibly sweet. I am digging over the veg patch to make some nice tidy soil for prospective house purchasers when the little granddaughter next door called me to the fence. She was one of my preschoolers last year, so we are very familiar!

"Mrs Cait, Mrs Cait, come here a minute" so I took my gloves off and went over to say hello. I asked how she was, but she brushed that aside and showed me a sycamore seed.

"It's a dried angel wing, look". She very carefully put it in the palm of her hand and held it up for me to see

"So it is!" I said "how lucky that you found it"

"It's for Mr Cait" she said, holding it nearer to me. "Will you give it to him?. If he puts it in water and waits, a angel will grow again. He needs a angel, tell him, now that his Mammy is died"

 

Big lump in throat moment.

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We had the Ben 10 figures out and myself a boy were looking on iPad to find out the names of the characters - later he came and asked 'what's this one called again? ' four arms ' I replied

'No what's his name ?' Again I said four arms , look it's because he has four arms and counted them to help him understand.

What's the other one name you have in your hand ? I asked

'2 arms ' he replied because he's got 2 arms !

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This one came from little boys aunty yesterday , she informed me he had asked if he could have some ' cock porn' , obviously he meant popcorn but I'm now worried as this is what we should be having later this week with a film , I dread to think of him going home and saying this is what he had at preschool !

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Oh and one from yesterday! :1b

Sometime around October/November I decided to 'embrace the grey' and stopped having my hair coloured.......I am completely grey now - but actually really like it and have received many positive comments.....

Yesterday a little boy who had originally started with us in September but had not got off to a good start returned for a 'taster' before his after Easter entrance

Looked at me in disbelief and said "what happened to your hair"

Poor mum was mortified - but I thought it was very funny and quite fair enough last time he saw me i was a glowing 'chestnut brown' :1b

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Haha. So funny. 'Out of the mouths of babes' and all that!

 

Reminds me of the time my cousin Dave called round, he'd not seen my Dad for ages and didn't know he had developed quite a lot of grey hair.. 'Uncle John' he said 'well you're either painting or you're going grey!' Firmly believing the former, he was mortified when Dad told him it was grey. Family joke for years!

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Had a great text from my sister last night. When I was down at the weekend my niece wasn't wanting to eat her food so mummy suggested Aunty H helping. I had a spoonful ready and said 'open your mouth' to which I got 'you have to press the button'. I pressed her nose and miraculously her mouth opened! Well last night apparently mummy pressed the button to open her mouth and my niece said "my batteries have run out!"

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  • 3 weeks later...

My son aged two pointed up to a crescent moon and said ''moon broken!'' How cute is that. He's 28 now and It still makes me smile when I see a crescent moon :rolleyes:

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