Funny Things Children Say

[AnonyMouse_26037]

We've been doing Passover recently and my class are of the opinion that there was a plague of nits and a plague of splinters and yesterday they added a plague of midgets.

 

This is partly because the version of the story I was half reading/half re-telling to them had a plague of gnats in and I explained gnats as being a bit like midges so you can see where nits and midgets come from. The splinters are because when it got to the bit about the people having disease and being covered with sores I said it was like blisters which clearly for some of them meant splinters and the plague of splinters has stuck.

 

I'm fairly sure there are times in school when our parents think we have a plague of nits!

[AnonyMouse_30128]

we had a small baloo the bear in our treasure cupboard today one of the staff asked a child if they knew the song and started humming the bear necessities ...oh yes i know that one he said,excitedly it goes "you've got the barest recipes the simple barest recipes"......sorry couldn't help but laugh!

[Guest]

I had a boy today show me his writing: 'Cats carnt eet ch'

 

i ask 'what does it say?'

him: 'cats cant eat ****'

me 'can you say that again?'

him 'cats cant eat ****!'

me 'do you know what that word means?

him: no

me: where have you heard it before?

him: dunno

me: is it shhhh at the front or ch?

him: ch

me: cats cant eat chit?

him: yeah

me: whats chit?

him: I dunno

 

 

I advised him to go and have a think about what he was writing so that when people read his poster they dont need to ask him what it says!!!

[Guest]

Whilst asking our 3-5 year olds today why they like coming to nursery one little chap said "because my mummy makes me come", he then later did say because he likes playing with the trains and cranes!!!

 

You just gotta love 'em!!!!

[AnonyMouse_11653]

I had a 4 year old little girl today who insisted i look at how long her hair was, when I asked her "are you growing it?" she replied "well I haven't been watering it!!" and yes we have been planting in the garden!!

 

Kris

[AnonyMouse_26037]

As we were navigating to an online game today my Y1s saw a picture of the Queen, Prince Phillip, Barack and Michelle Obama on the BBC home page. Clearly the royal wedding is still at the forefront of their minds and they were delighted to discover that the Queen and Prince Phillip were "King William's" granny and grandpa. However, all except one were absolutely adamant that Barack Obama was "King William's Dad!"

 

After trying to explain about the 'President of America' I gave up when they asked "So is that lady (Michelle Obama) queen of America?!"

[Guest]

During the inspection last year one of the inspectors said to a child, "This is a nice game, do you know how to play it?" a child said "Yes, of course we can play it..." "Can you show me?" "No only 4 allowed and there's already 4!"

 

Also, I was being observed doing a focused activity and a child came up to ask me when the "expectors" were coming.

 

Then when I asked if anyone knew what an ambulance was one child responded,

 

"Is it when we all go down to the hall and it's not PE and we sit in a line and there's a story with no pictures?" - If you can't guess she meant an assembly - something for the HT to think about I think!

 

Finally, my favourite was at Christmas when we had a nativity scene and one of the children had put "Baby Jesus" somewhere, I asked the children if anyone knew where he was and one child replied with a completely straight face, "I think he's away in a manger".

[AnonyMouse_11414]

THis made me laugh!!! One of our mums came in today and stated that over the half term break her daughter had been very enthusiastic by wanting to sing to anyone that would listen the song she learnt at preschool.

Aah thats sweet I replied nice to know that the things we do impact !! What song was it I asked?

She replied "Baa Baa black sheep has a hairy ball"!!!

After picking myself up laughing did explain to the mum ( who I do know quite well) that our version was slighly different!

[AnonyMouse_6361]

After running, tripping and falling over a brownie last week. Injuring around my left eye, chin and little fingers on my left hand. Ended up at A&E and a day off work.

 

I went to work the day after. During snack time in nursery a child asked 'miss whats happened to your eye? then goes to poke it ouch thanks. They then said 'aww miss did that hurt?' mrs said 'please dont hurt miss, she had a fall on .... so her eye is sore.' cue several nursery children say 'ouch miss are you ok' with hugs! One child said 'miss will you tell them brownies to behave themselves.' hahahahahaha classic.

 

Then I today in year 1 the lower ability group (didn't work with them last week) said 'miss what have you done now!!!' I need to tell you at break time (on playground duty), so off the come outside to find me. 'So what happened miss?' they said. I said 'I fell over a child at brownies last week. I am fine, it looks worse than it is.' cue 6 children who all say 'you silly billy miss you need wrapping up in cotton wool!'

[Guest]

Neve my 4 year old niece came downstairs with her bag backed

 

"I'm leaving now and gettng a flat on my own because Bradley snores to much and i need some space"

 

Bradley sleeps in the loft and Neve on the first floor so he must snore really loud

 

Her mum replied

 

"teas ready now...do you want to eat before you go?"

 

Neve " wellll..................go on then since you've gone to so much trouble"

 

I just don't know where she get it from

[Guest]

A couple of weeks ago i was having a conversation with a 3 year old about the new pony he had got 'its called Milo' he said. 'oh' says I 'my dog is called Milo'. He looked at me for a second and said quite disparagingly 'did you not see it was a horse before you got him?' no answer really!

[Guest]

Well last Friday it was my birthday, and as we sat in the book corner at one point ready to sing a song I asked what number we should count to so we could all start together. No one answered so I said "well I'm 47 today so shall we count to 47?"

 

"Oh no you're joking that'll take tooooo long" said our best counter..... so we counted to 4

 

Rachel

[AnonyMouse_26037]

Well my lot are particularly in to birthdays at the moment. This afternoon one of my boys made some cakes out of playdough, stuck a birthday candle in each one, put them in a tin and left them on my desk as a surprise. I of course, play acted 'it's my birthday' and they all decided to sing to me. Now whenever we sing Happy Birthday at the end we clap - one clap for each year of the child's age.

 

After singing to me one child started spontaneously clapping then another stopped him

 

"Don't, it'll take too long, we'll have to clap thousands!" he said!

[AnonyMouse_38752]

I've been thinking whether to post this or not, but it ought to be shared...

 

One day we were collecting worms in the garden. I looked for something to put them in and found an old aquarium. Me: 'There, let's put them in here. Let's make a wormery.'

A little while later, the children had got bored with the worms and had made a home for lady birds and various other bugs they found instead. I congratulated them: 'WoW, you have found a lot of bugs.' A colleague who walked past, asked the children what they were doing, and one little darling chirps up loudly and clearly:'We're making a b***ery!'

 

The memory of this has us laughing in tears every time I mention it.

[AnonyMouse_6361]

During maths class break time.

 

A fellow teaching assistant from another school happened to mention this tonight.

 

On her first day on a school trip to a farm.

 

the Farmer said 'who knows what the name of a baby cow is?'

 

A boy said 'a MILF!' very proudly.

 

Another child said to her 'Mrs whats a MILF'

 

TA said 'Errrrmmm' walks away and nearly falls down the small steps.

 

Don't you just love working with children!!!

[AnonyMouse_16365]

I had a small boy come into school one day announcing loudly to everyone in a packed waiting area " My Dad's got a sore bum. He's got a sore bum, he hurt it with a hammer. He needed a plaster for his sore bum"". Mum didn't know what to do with herself, the rest of the parents were in hysterics. Then we noticed he was wiggling his THUMB!....classic moment!

[AnonyMouse_30128]

had to laugh today ..we were selling some rather delicious looking pudsey bear cookies for CIN and a little boy was eyeing them up eagerly....can i have one? he said ...so i explained that we were selling them for children who didn't have much probably wouldn't get christmas presents and sometimes didn't have enough food to eat.....he thought for a moment and then announced............"i didn't have breakfast this morning!!!" (oh and for those of you who might worry he is a well fed and looked after boy)

[AnonyMouse_30128]

another one for the laughter bank yesterday.

Liitle boy trying to put on his lace up shoes

Do you want some help with your shoes ? i asked

"they're not mine he said they're adidas' he said...look it says so on the side!

And the nativity story for this year.

Mary on stage ...we had put a cross on the stage for her to remember where she was to sit.she was watching what the other children were doing, when the shepherds were coming on she suddenly crawled off to their side of the stage and pointed furiously to the cross placed on the stage for them...stand here she said loudly!....after the final song one of the shpherds also stood up and shouted "that's the end now!!"

got to love them!!

[AnonyMouse_19782]

We gave the children some mini mince pies this week with their snack one little girl said she definitely didn't want to try it so we gave her a biscuit instead.

 

Later when going around the table with extra fruit etc. another little girl sitting beside the first said, "can I have a biscuit?", to which adult replied, "but you've had a mince pie to eat, ******* doesn't like mince pies, that's why she's got a biscuit" back came the reply "I didn't like the mince pie!", (she had eaten it all though - hmmm cute or what)!

[Guest]

Playing Christmas snap with the children yesterday-robin, tree, bell, star, BBQ???-well its not often you see a manger these days but do they really think I would put a baby in a BBQ?

[AnonyMouse_13818]

I sat with our whole foundation stage group this afternoon watching a Christmas DVD. At one point Father Christmas was called St. Nicholas. One of my children was sitting with me feeling rather sleepy. She suddenly sat up when she heard the name St. Nicholas and said in a questioning tone 'St. knickers'?

[Guest]

We had a new child recently in nursery who when asked to say the magic word (please!!!) by my nursery nurse (he wanted his coat on and thrust it under her nose) replied - "meeshka mooshka Mickey Mouse" - I believe it is from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse . . . ... well, she did ask for magic words!!!!!

[AnonyMouse_39602]

we have a boy who is very keen on being a chef and for the last 2 sessions comes up with his note pad asking for our food orders- i asked for a cheese and pickle sandwich - 'no' he said we are a restaurant we don't do that- so i asked for steak and chips- 'no' we do pasta - ok i said i will have pasta carbonara please-'No' he replied we don't do cars or bananas just pasta !!!

[AnonyMouse_35585]

We were talking about jellyfish the other day at playgroup with our 2yr olds and I asked the children "where do jellyfish live" and one little girl answered "in jelly"

[AnonyMouse_29873]

That was soooo funny - my eldest two chuckled too ! My youngest (aged 4yrs) on the morning of his birthday ( after asking several times before he went to sleep whether it was his birthday yet....) awoke in my bed and immediately stood up on the bed and said "am I any bigger ?".

 

On the way to school he asked me as somebody approached from the opposite direction," Do people know its my birthday ?"

 

had me smiling and still does !

[AnonyMouse_26037]

My mum and dad were visiting my sister the other day. Dad was measuring something in the kitchen and left his keys there. Mum found them later, stood in the kitchen doorway and threw them to land next to him on the sofa. Cue one small and very indignant 4 year old...

 

J: "Granny! Don't throw! We give, not throw!"

Granny: "I'm sorry Justin"

J: "Now say sorry to Grandpa!"

 

His nursery are doing a great job!

[AnonyMouse_2127]

I bought wooden food for our home corner and threw away all the plastic ones. One little girl asked "what is this?" holding a wooden tub of half fat single cream. I told her it was cream. I said that I liked cream, especially on strawberries. She looked a bit puzzled. I said have you had cream before and she said yes, she had. I said "I like cream on raspberries and other fruit, what do you like it on?" Her reply......"On my bum when it's sore!!"

 

There followed a conversation about different kinds of cream :rolleyes:

 

Sue J

[AnonyMouse_1469]

My deputy was reading a story today and one of the pictures showed daddy shaving. One of the boys asked what he was doing and deputy explained that some daddies have beards and others like to shave their whiskers off. Another child asked if mummies do that too, and some of the children laughed and said no...................and one of the little girls piped up with ' MY mummy does............she says she always has to shave her b****y whiskers off!! :rolleyes:

[AnonyMouse_1999]

Bet you didn't all know that the Queen has been on her phone for 60 years!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest LornaW]

Overheard in the changing rooms

 

Mum to young son: No you don't need to take your clothes off I am trying the clothes on!

Son: I don't have boobies do I mummy?

Mumin a quiet voice: No darling!

Som in a loud voice: No I've titicles!

 

made my day!