AnonyMouse_19135 Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 I sent a questionnaire out begining of january and a lot came back saying parents would like to help out in sessions - which is fine by me, I relly think this should be encouraged. The only problem with this is that at the moment we have 2 very "challenging" children and we are worried that parents will come in and help, see how these 2 children behave and take their own children out of the setting One of the children is worse than the other, she started in october and she will not do a thing she is told, she has her nice side I have to admit but when it comes to a time where she HAS to do soemthign or we need to put away what she has got, or it's time to sit for storytime etc she just gets huigely rebellious, she swears at us, she has thrown chairs, she laughs when we talk to her, tells us to shut up, pushes other children off their chairs etc and when it comes to us letting the children go at the end of the session, 3 staff stay in the circle with the children then 2 of us are on the door to call the children one by one to their parents. At the point we go to the door, the child gets up and runs for the door, now maybe I should let it go and just take her out first but for one, we don't know if her mum will be there, for 2, thi sis just letting her get her own way and "rule" us, and for 3, it is showing the other children a bad example. I've spoken to her mum on numerous occasions and she makes out that the child is perfect but she sees it for herself when she picks up but just says in a quiet voice to the child to "don't do that", the other day the child ran straight outside (after handing over) and ran across the icy car park so, going back to my original question lol, does anyone have any ideas how we can integrate the parents in to the setting successfully please? we don't have enough staff for a one to one for the child which I really think is what she needs, but we also don't have the money to pay for a one to one either Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_3139 Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 I'd accept the offers of help and carry on your sessions as normal. If you get any comments regarding the behaviour approach it in the vein of 'all children are different, some need more support than others at different things'. Make sure everyone understands the confidentiality policy too, you dont want gossip in the playground. I doubt your parents will remove their children. It will give them the opportunity to see how well you manage behaviour and how inclusive you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MaryEMac Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 Have you involved your area senco? When we had a child with similar problems we got a lot of help from ours. Also they may be able to help with funding to pay for a 1:1 helper. Also you may need to do a behaviour plan and share this with mum. Hope you get it sorted soon. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_1027 Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 i agree with Rea and sounds like you could do with the extra help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_1027 Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 Remind your helpers about confidentialality too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_19135 Posted January 24, 2009 Author Share Posted January 24, 2009 Thanks all I'll speak to the setting senco and get her to contact the area senco on monday. with regards to the confidentiality, could I actually get parent helpers to sign a copy of the confidentiality policy? or is that a bit over the top? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_5895 Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 Hi, I have a folder for parent helpers which contains the following policies: Behaviour Confidentiality Safeguarding Children Health and Safety (incl a copy of emergency evac procedures) Parents sign a form to say they have read, understood and will abide by the policies. I have never had anyone complain - they have always been happy to do this. You do not say how many children you have in the session or how long it takes to call them one by one at the end. Just a suggestion but if your key problem times are circle/story time could you not change your routines slightly to avoid them as much as possible or at least keep them to an absolute minimum. We had a problem a couple of years back when we had only 2 girls and 19 boys ( some of whom were extremely aggressive/rebellious)in our session. Our SENCO advised observations to try to pinpoint key trigger points and try to avoid them. In the end we simply started opening the door for access outside right at the beginning of the session and this made such a difference almost straight away. Any way, Best of Luck. I know how exhausting it can be to deal with challenging behaviourl Valp59 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 I had similar dilemma myself as we have 1 child who is waiting for a CAMHS refferal for his angry and violent behaviour. We have always had parents into the Nursery as helpers and head teacher said we should carry on. I put up a rota and the parents come in pairs and the day before they come in, I have a quick chat with them at the end of the session, about general things. With regard to this child, I explain that atm, he needs extra support and that we have a strategy that we use to manage his behaviour and without going into detail, I explain that it may ultimately mean that he has to be removed for time out- this is how we normally manage him- he is taken to head teacher or other slt member if he throws chairs, spits or swears at other children or screams at top of his voice to disrupt everything. I explain to parents that our paramount concern is the safety and well being of all the children and whilst we strive to be fully inclusive, we will not tolerate behaviour that can put others at risk. Most parents are fine with this- they've seen how he behaves in the morning line and when we hand him over to mum and I th ink it reassures them that we are in con trol and have a cut-off point and a plan for dealing with his outbursts, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_13453 Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 Yes, it can work well. In the past we have had parents comment that 'we deserve a medal for keeping calm dealing with it day in day out' and they look at what we do in a new light - and for members on the committee it can foster a greater respect for what we do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 This is your chance to shine, with all your behaviour management strategies. You can be sure that children do go home and say that this child has done this, that or the other. These parents can see how you manage this behaviour. I would chat about confidentiality and then get them into help. Lots of brilliant TA's started off life as parent helpers and usually if people offer they really do have a genuine interest and are wanting to learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 When the child becomes violent what do you respond with, if there is 2 adults in the room, we remove the child (obviously after offering a choice) I ask this because if the parent helper sees you respond in a way that doesn't disrupt learning for the others, it shouldn't be a big problem to them? I'm also interested in how you are managing your situation that sounds like ours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 I feel you should ask the parents of the disruptive children to help out so they can experience first had the behavioural issues you have. Can you build up a closer relationship with the parent concerned and maybe seek professional help from an expert in behaviour. It may feel awkward appraoching the parents but it is unfair to the other children being exposed to swearing from some one so young. You never know the parent may even be happy you have broached the subject in such an honest and open way. You may well get abuse form them but in the long run it is not fair on the staff, children and other parents . Sorry if I am being a bit over the top but with tact and teamwork I think the underlying disruptive issue should be sorted and the rest will fall in to place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_19135 Posted January 25, 2009 Author Share Posted January 25, 2009 I feel you should ask the parents of the disruptive children to help out so they can experience first had the behavioural issues you have. Can you build up a closer relationship with the parent concerned and maybe seek professional help from an expert in behaviour. It may feel awkward appraoching the parents but it is unfair to the other children being exposed to swearing from some one so young. You never know the parent may even be happy you have broached the subject in such an honest and open way. You may well get abuse form them but in the long run it is not fair on the staff, children and other parents . Sorry if I am being a bit over the top but with tact and teamwork I think the underlying disruptive issue should be sorted and the rest will fall in to place. Hi Oliverpop, the parent has been made aware of the situation many times unfortunately, to be honest it is obvious to her as soon as we open the door as the child still behaves badly in front of her. I've never had to "manage" getting the area senco in etc so i'm not really sure ho to do it or even who they are but i'll look into it on monday definately. Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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