Guest Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 Hi every one I m just about at the end of my tether and at a total loss as to what to do i care for a 10 month old little boy who SCREAMS the most ear piercing scream to get what he wants /or doesnt want I know he is young and doesnt have language yet and I try to encourage babbling of all sorts and good behaviour and try to ignore his screaming as much as possible but he s getting louder by the day and neither my ears or head can stand much more . is there anyone out there got any amazing ideas to stop this behaviour????????? .when he s happy he s lovely .Ive had him a while now and he seems settled with me and when I spoke to mum about it she eventually admitted its becoming a problem at home .Any thing can set him off -the buggy stops.I move to get something for one of the other children -even though I m still in sight ,i dont spoon his dinner in quick enough and thats it he s off and often forgets to stop!!!! Please ,please help before I go totally deaf !!!!!!
AnonyMouse_79 Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 Health Visitor? GP? Has he been checked to make sure that there is nothing physically wrong?
AnonyMouse_13453 Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 I can hear my Grandfather saying "Shurrup or I'll give yer summat to blether abaht!" and for those of you from the south "be quiet or I will give you something to cry about" It's really no joke and you have my every sympathy - have you tried screaming back?
AnonyMouse_15046 Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 I don't think there are any magic cures - sorry janice116! If he has been checked out and is fit and healthy I can only suggest a good strong dose of a lack of reaction. If he doesn't manage to control anyone or change anything by screaming he will get over it. I've had a child like this and wrongly thought I should try to make it better for her. I realise now that the more reaction she got the more she screamed the next time. It is really hard to ignore screaming as a childminder because you feel that it reflects on you as a practitioner. I used to worry about being reported to Ofsted if people thought I was hurting her. I really feel for you and this little boy's mum. Just hang on to the fact that it will get better. Have you bought any earplugs yet? Perhaps you and his mum could find a two for one deal! Good luck!
AnonyMouse_75 Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 (edited) Im not much help I just wanted to say hang in there I assume he does the same with his parent(s)? how do they react when he makes this horrid scream? just that what ever your doing make sure parents are doing the same or your probably fighting a loosing battle and yes Cait my mum would say the same and likewise if it was me and my brothers arguing it was "....stopit or Ill bang your heads together!" my mum also use to say "if your gonna scream go and do it in your room and close two doors between you and me" so if it all gets too much janice put the baby in the cot and leave the room and close the door for a short while so that you can calm you thoughts, I know some children shut up when they havent got an audience to perform to. Edited June 14, 2009 by Alison
Guest Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 This is a 10 month old learning new things by the minute and right in the middle of the seperation anxiety and frustration phase. I'm sure I would scream pretty loudly if things were not how I expected/liked them and had no way else to communicate it - heck I can talk and still scream on occasion! If he doesn't like the buggy to stop is there a reason? You use it at certain times and he is about to fall asleep maybe? Can you use a sling instead? If he objects at you feeding him can you let him feed himself? I may be in the minority in my views but at this age I wouldn't be looking to ignore his reaction all the time, instead looking for a pattern and a way of him not getting so upset. Whilst you really do have my empathy, a screaming baby is so hard, imagine what is going on in his little immature and forming brain to be making that cry. Good luck working through this with his parents (())
Guest jane707 Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 I had a screamer for 3 months, 2 days a week. My own children took to their rooms and other mindees were moaning to their parents. It is hard hard work and only you know your breaking point. Then one day for no apparent reason he just stopped and we haven't looked back. I just wanted to reassure you there is light at the end of the tunnel.
AnonyMouse_23722 Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 Oh dear. Poor you. I hope it gets better soon. I assume as the parents are finding it a problem that they will have eliminated any medical causes. I can only say, 'hang in there, it WILL get better'
Guest Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 Hi all thanks for your encouraging replies and support just wanted to let you know that we may be turning a corner.we had a mega party in the park yesterday wth a "beach" paddling pools,bouncy castles music ,noise and lots of children and he would normally freak out and HEY !!!!he loved it and wasnt fazed at all!!! he smiled all day !! and we ve had a better day today and I even had the other baby there I care for and he normally screams at the meer sight of him!! I did notice last week while he was playing on the floor that as soon as he screamed mum whisked him up into her arms and was reassuring him and fussing over him.I wonder if he maybe thought he needed to be "saved" that something awful was going to happen to him.I ve been trying to keep him on the floor and distract him and reassure him so maybe its eventually working . So thanks again for all your support fingers xxxxd he continues to improve
AnonyMouse_13453 Posted June 26, 2009 Posted June 26, 2009 Ah - so that could be the root of his problem! I'm all for reassuring a child, but sometimes you have to mentally step back I think, and ask yourself if you are merely reinforcing to him that there's a need to be anxious about this. We have the same with aeroplanes going over, we have a lot of practice sorties round here by the Lakes, and some children come in being very anxious about them because their Mums instantly run to them and snatch them up when one goes over. That's not the way we reassure them at Preschool we do the 'wow look at him GO!' factor and run to see who can spot him first or stand and wave if he's very close - we've had one 'wave' back too! If an emergency vehicle goes by (and I personally have a phobia about those) with sirens and lights going we say 'Goodness, he won't sell many ice creams going at that speed!' Flippant perhaps, but it got me through as a child myself when my Dad said it. All I'm saying (and going round the houses about it as usual) is that there are ways of acknowledging a child's distress and helping them cope with it, without compounding their belief that something awful is happening to them.
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