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I've Always Seen This Forum As An Advice Line


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Thank you

 

As some of you know I am in a senior position. My committee aren't listening to me. As a result of this my long term aims for my setting will be erased and I will carry on until I can't take anymore. I have made my setting incredibly sucessful in the time I have been there and was so proud of what I've achieved. I've never been that successful at anthing before and I really believed that I could be this time.

 

I have woked my ar** off for 8 years, completed 2 NVQ's a foundation degree and a specialised B-tec (the last two I did at the same time and was working full time too.) Now I am made to feel that all my hard work won't achieve anything and my opinion doesn't count.

 

I am sick with worry, close to tears and very unhappy.

 

I do appreciate all the support you all have given me and finding this forum was a miracle.

 

Anyways, thanks for reading my post - it felt good to type it all out.

 

ppp

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Thank you sunnyday that's fine. I can't go into detail as someone may know me on here. Which doesn't help as it makes it difficult to advise.

 

ppp

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So sorry PPP and wish I could wave a magic wand for you.

 

You know you deserve better treatment and if I understand your post correctly you have also come to realise that things will not change where you are.

 

Remember how good you are, pat yourself on the back for all you have done for the current setting and take heart from the fact that so many children have benefited from your hard work and efforts. So sad that the committee don't realised what a valuable member of staff you are and are unable to appreciate you.

 

If it were me I would not stay until I reached the point where I couldn't take any more - easy for me to say but how about accepting the situation for what it is - it is NOT your fault. I would hold my head up high with very good reason and go about looking for a setting where you will be appreciated.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide and hope you feel better for sharing here :oxD

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Gosh, how sad for you, I am sorry. I do hope things turn out okay for you and as others have said, focus on all the good things you've done for the children.

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I really feel for you....why does this happen? Is it happening in all professions? It does seem when you work hard and enjoy your job with a passion it is difficult to get a lot of support, apart from here of course...I think that if you are working in early years this forum is definetly an advice/help/support/empathic/encouraging line.

 

Chin up lovey - hopefully you can bounce back given a bit of time and until then keep typing and using this as your cushion. :oxD:(

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I can symphise with you as being a manager in a committee run pre-school can be a very difficult position to be in... i speak from experience... i'm so sorry you are having such a bad time of it.... hang on in there, it is hard to advise when we don't know everything but try to remember that committee's do change, if you got a change of committee things may improve.... just think of all the good things you are doing and how you have made that setting such a great place for the children to be...i know its hard and sometimes it can be a very lonely place managing a setting... tea and sympathy plus hugs coming your way

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Sending hugs PPP - you know you are worth so much more than putting up with an unappreciative committee - sadly, it may well be that until you have left they won't appreciate what they had. You have outstanding qualifications - it's pay back time for all your hard work - go and find a position where you can be appreciated.

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Hi PPP, so sorry to hear about your situation. What a lot of training, hard work and dedication not being appreciated. Like Geraldine, I too would be tempted to find someone who appreciated my skills and allowed me to work the way I wanted to work (you have proved that you have the experience, the skills and the knowledge to do that). mrsW.x

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I'm so sorry to hear you feeling so down, ppp. You're always such a happy go lucky, cheerful poster, you must be having a really hard time. Don't know what to suggest, really, but wanted to support Geraldine's advice - if you know it's not going to change where you are, go somewhere else before you're completely disillusioned. Take care, and keep coming back for more virtual hugs and cups of tea/glasses (bottles?) of wine with your forum friends.

x

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oh bless you hun, i was in exactly your position in April - worked as manager in my setting for 10 years - just got an outstanding - did my FD BA hons and just passed my EYPS...... as Geraldine says dont stay still you can stand it no longer - i did and the stress and upset it caused me and my staff were unbelievable - i know its hard but try to find something else before it gets to that point.

 

i am still reeling and devestated by it all - that i was made to leave and i know there are good committees out there but would never ever work for one again unless they had educational backgrounds as they can ruin a nursery in weeks!!!!!!

 

lots of hugs and kisses - it does get better i promise although takes a long time xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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What can I say PPP? Only that I feel so sad for you and just hope things work out in the long run for you, whatever you decide. I hope the tunnel you are going through is very short and you start to see the light coming very very soon.

Gruffalo2

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Oh PPP I am so sorry that you are feeling so low. It is really hard when you know that your heart and soul is in what you do and other's don't value that. I think you will find that many of us have been where you are one way and another, and it does take a while to come to terms with it. As others have said you are well qualified, and have lots of experience, and would be a great asset to someone else. The hardest thing is leaving somewhere where you have been happy in the past and change is difficult for all of us. Making a change can open new doors and it is amazing how invigorating that can be. Lot of hugs (((((())))))

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I can't really add anything fresh, PPP, just in the words of whoever it was 'don't let the b******s grind you down'. I can be totally demoralising, and like many on here I can put my hand up and say 'been there, done that and got the embroidered polo shirt'

It's rubbish that a group of people who have no knowledge and expertise can reduce us to gibbering wrecks. Do your local Early years team know that you feel this way?

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Well WE LOVE YOU, PPP - your posts are always helpful, wise and (usually!) upbeat.

 

It's incredibly sad that someone with so much to offer can be demoralised like this - I hope things look better for you soon. Sounds as if they'll only appreciate you when they've driven you out and find out how much they relied on you :o

 

Nona X

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That is such a sad post PPP.

 

There's nothing to add to the comments and hugs from everyone else except to say don't forget what you have done for the children!

 

It might all soon change but no-one can take away all of the lovely positive experiences you have given to the children in your care over the last few years. They will carry that benefit with them throughout their school years and beyond. Focus on all the good you have done and then think about how you could carry it on elsewhere if not in your current setting.

 

If you do leave it will be their loss not yours

 

x

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Can't reply to all of your responses but just wanted to pick out a few:

 

Nona - you made me smile so much with your opening comment! Thank you!

 

Panders - thank you soooooooo much for saying I have oustanding qualifications!!

 

I have never been big headed and have lived my life with such little confidence but I do feel that I am very knowledgable - afterall I get advice from all you good people!! I usually am a happy, bouncy individual who adores bringing joy to little ones lives but this has knocked me hard.

 

Cait - love your little phrase there - that's what my Nan says all the time. Our early years advisor knows how I feel and can sympathise but not much can be done as the committee are my employer and no one is in charge of the committee.

 

Thank you all so much for your feedback. I'll let you know how tomorrow goes!!!

 

ppp

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PPP, I presume you have told the committee how you feel about their response to your aims.

Have they detailed why things wont change? Have they said what they think is wrong with your vision for the future?

I dont believe taht a committee worth their salt should have any say in the runing of the group. They should remember what their roles are. They appoint staff who, presumably, are qualified and responsible enough to run the group, otherwise why appoint them?

Are you aprt of the PLA? When I had a problem with committee my DW offered to speak to them for me.

I hope you manage either to sort this out or find somewhere that will value your expertise and forward thinking.

This link is for the PLAs publication 'Volunteering for your pre-school committee'. It might help a bit Committee

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Thanks again everyone.

 

Well today I woke up feeling sick with worry, hardly ate anything for breakfast and got into work feeling so nervous (nerves can get the better of me). I felt sick for the first hour then the lovely darlings distracted my gloomy thoughts. A child then vomited on me so that took my mind off it too and I spent the rest of the morning dealing with a child's unwanted behaviour. Got back home 30mins ago and feel relieved that I got through today! I am hoping to meet with the Chair again early next week so will let you know whether she listens to me this time!! A full committee meeting was suggested but I feel I will be ganged up upon as our committee is made up of very strong minds!

 

Hope you all had a good day!

 

ppp

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PPP,

 

Not sure what to say really, other than just remember that committees come and go, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. That is the harsh reality, which at times is very hard to take.

 

Whatever the issue is here, you need to stand firm and stick by what you believe. Make sure that your committee are fully aware of your thoughts on the matter and the consequences of their lack of support for your morale.

 

I just wish sometimes that voluntary committees would strike the right balance between being "in charge" and understanding that there are professionals working for them who know first hand what the best way forward is. They are, after all, temporary custodians and rarely there for the long haul.

 

Best of luck,

DDC.

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PPP, just popped in to see what sort of day you had.

 

Umm, vomit and unwanted behaviour - one of those days when you ask yourself WHY you work with small children!? :o However you sound much more "upbeat" which is great - hang in there!

 

Nona X

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Thanks Nona, but since my last post, got approached by a committee member on my travels. I wish I could tell you all the problem because if the committee don't listen to me, do what they think is best and then the committee changes, the problem will still be there.

 

Upbeatness has gone!

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