Guest Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 HI, well it never rains but pours, in light of recent events i have been invited to a disciplinarary hearing. two members of staff are saying that i knew fully the details of a child being mistreated in our setting, but i did not at all. i can see why they are saying it, because they are trying to cover their backs, but i can not prove that i did not know. i have been over and over this with the nursery owner, and because the incident happened three weeks ago i can not recall exactly what was said. but i know morally and professionally had i known the full story then i would have dealt with it. i have given a witness statement with regards to the initial investigation over the member of staff misstreating a child.... this whole situation has put me under far too much stress i have had numerous migraines and flare ups of my irritable bowel syndrome as well as spells of insomnia, i feel worn down and to be quite honest am suprised i am still functioning. i have asked to waive my right to attend a disciplinarary hearing because i can not do with the stress of going over things again when the owner knows my views on the matter and i have signed a testimony to the effect (stating that i do not recall being told in full and had i have been then i would have acted on it). can i be made to attend a hearing when i feel it will add undue stress to myself. i have accepted that there will be some action - after all i should have probbed when i realised the member of staff had a fraught day, maybe then i would have been better informed, so yes, i accept i have an element of responsability in this, but as i say i really do not feel able to cope with the stress. i have asked the owner (in writing) to take into acocunt my previous witness testimony and the light that i feel unduly stressed at the moment when considering if i need to attend the hearing.... as i say i know there will be action and will accept that and move forward... right now i feel like i need some support, yet i don't know where to get it from.... so my question to you: can i be forced to attend a disciplinarary hearing?, and if they do force me to attend it where do i stand if i feel it is impacting my health? thanks in advance Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_8466 Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 What a sorry tale - I do feel so sorry for you Dawn. If you're not a member of your union, I would strongly advise that you call ACAS for advice. They will know exactly what you are legally obliged to do in these situations, and will provide the very best advice. Good luck. Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_705 Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Hi Dawn I'm sorry you are feeling so stressed at the moment, and can understand why. Not sure if you can be forced to attend, perhaps it would be worth going on the ACAS website or speaking to one of their advisors to try to find out. My feeling would be that it would be better for you to attend if at all possible, especially if there independant people on the panel, they will be able to see the stress you are under. I would strongly suggest you find somebody to go with you to give you the support you badly need by the sound of things. Hang in there. Not sure this has been much help, but didn't want to just look and run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_1027 Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 as Maz says phone ACAs they will tell you where you stand - might also be worth a visit to docs if your stressed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_8466 Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 I would strongly suggest you find somebody to go with you to give you the support you badly need by the sound of things. They won't be able to speak on your behalf, but just having someone there who is on your side will make you feel better, if you decide it is in your best intrests to attend. Maz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_9850 Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Sorry to hear of your situation, if you do go try and take someone with you for moral support. Just to voice what the others have said ACAS are excellent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Dawn I so understand that you are feeling so stressed. However this is also an opportunity for you to set the record straight. Even though you have written a statement there may be things that need clarifying. Also although attending would be stressful, not attending would also be a bad time for you. I hope that the situation is resolved and that you and your staff can move forward from this. ps What action is being taken against the staff member who used force with a child? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Thanks all for advice... the thing is the panel is not in my opinion inpartial I will see what joy my letter brings, but i guess if i have to go then i have to go... i don't want to go to the doctors because on a personal level i spent two plus years fighting depression for an aspect of my life not work related, but i don't want to be named depressed again when i don't feel depressed, just stressed!. the member of staff that used force on a child was disciplined, but i don't know to what extent, she has now taken a position as cook so won't be working directly with the children. Dawn DawnI so understand that you are feeling so stressed. However this is also an opportunity for you to set the record straight. Even though you have written a statement there may be things that need clarifying. Also although attending would be stressful, not attending would also be a bad time for you. I hope that the situation is resolved and that you and your staff can move forward from this. ps What action is being taken against the staff member who used force with a child? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_1469 Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 You don't have to attend, but my feeling is that you should. It gives you the opportunity to give your side of things in person and yes, you can take someone along to support, but not speak for, you. I understand why you would feel it's easier to say no and not go,and I can understand too, why you would say you should just leave...................but your reputation might be damaged by that.If you go and have your say, at least you will have the knowledge that you did your best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_13453 Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 If you don't go, and it goes against you, you will always wonder whether it would have been the same if you'd gone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_79 Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 You need to get advice and quickly Dawn. You have every right to take someone with you and if you were a union member, the union would send a representative to make sure everything is done properly. I would be surprised if a hearing can go ahead without you. Try contacting Voice, the union. They may be able to help. Good luck. Sorry you are caught out like this. When you posted on here you did not seem aware of the situation. Can you print out the thread to help you? It is dated and timed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Big hugs to you Dawn. You say you cannot prove you didn't know, can the people making such allegations prove that you did know? You think the meeting may be impartial, I think more reason to attend if you can, the written word can be more easily interpreted 'out of context' than your verbal representation of yourself. I'd advice to see the doctor, stress is totally different to depression, although I understand your thoughts on this due to your previous experience. The treatment for stress would not be the same as the treatment for depression, even some help for your short term insomnia may help to alleviate some of the stress. I agree it will still be stressfull if you don't attend, so if you can, I think this would be best for you in the long run. Having someone with you will I hope enable all present to view the facts in an impartial and objective manner, if they don't then at least you will have a witness to the fact that the process was unfair. Good idea to print off your previous posts on this. I wish I could wish this all away for you but although you won't realise this now, this experience, if you let it, will enable you to find strength in your own convictions, and from voicing and sticking to your convictions you will become a stronger person for it. Good luck, let us know what happens. Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 29, 2009 Share Posted June 29, 2009 Dawn, what a horrible situation for you to find yourself in. Excellent advice (as always!) given already, do try and get advice and someone to attend the hearing with you as an independent witness. My friend was in a similar situation and got great advice and support form her union rep. Even though matters were "resolved" she chose to resign afterwards and make a fresh start elsewhere, without a blemish on her reputation and without wondering "what if or if only" Good Luck, hope you feel better soon. Nona X Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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