Feeling Really Down...

[Guest]

I am feeling really, really down at the minute.

My new Reception class are absolute terrors. I am in shock by how badly behaved a lot of them are.

I have only been teaching 3 years and I really feel like I am being expected to know so much and I just don't!!

My first year was in year 2 - I had a few problem children but I managed to really turn them around and was really proud of myself for that.

My second year was with year 1 - again I found this quite tricky at first (after seeing off a clever bunch of year two children to be greeted with a not so clever bunch of year one children was quite a shock to say the least!) However, the developed into a fantastic class and I was very sad to send them up!

My third year was in Reception. The first few weeks were chaos - they couldn't sit still, couldn't line up, shouted out constantly, but there was only one real problem child in the class and the rest were little stars and I ended up having a wonderful year in Reception and really turning things around (where EYFS was concerned, layout of classroom etc.)

So, I was really looking forward to starting my fourth year in Reception - after a successful year I was feeling confident this year.

However, I am having quite a nightmare.

I have one child who is still in nappies, crawls, their diet is still primarily milk, he is literally like a 2 year old.

On top of this I have 7 very badly behaved boys. On the positive side I have 22 fairly well behaved children. The 7 boys though are shocking. They can't sit on the carpet without fighting - they punch, kick, bite nip. Say "no" to everything I ask them to do, "we don't have to," "I don't care." Etc, etc. Parent's also don't care.

I have tried all of the usual tricks to settle them (that have worked for the past three years) and I am getting myself so stressed out as I have literally tried everything with them and I just don't know what to do next.

To make matters worse Ofsted are due anytime. I am mortified that I cannot control my class. I am gutted. I have told the head and she has basically said "You will get there in the end, you always do."

 

Sorry for the rant, but any suggestions will be greatly appreciated!!!

 

SuperStar (although I certainly do not feel like one at the minute!!!)

 

PS - Sorry for any mistakes!!

[Guest]

Oh Superstar - if I could come and help you I would!

We all know what it is like to look after children who's behaviour wants to make you cry!

 

Do you have a TA/classroom help? I hope you do if one of your children is still in nappies!

 

Can't really suggest anything as I don't know what tricks you have tried. Doesn't help when the parents don't care either.

 

You will get support from us forum lot though....hope someone else can be of more use?

 

ppp

[AnonyMouse_19782]

oh Superstar, my heart goes out to you. I'm pre school so very different to reception. You must try and keep consistent with those boys, get them outside as much as you can, and get them engaged in really meaningful activities to burn off that energy. I have been told that boys get an extra shot of testosterone between the ages of 4 and 5 and this is what turns them into little fighting machines, but things do eventually calm down.

 

You know that even though you have been teaching for such a short time in terms of your career, you have gained lots of experience, had lots of success and that you will get through this.

 

You have had a bad day or week, but recharge your batteries this weekend, pamper yourself, or go for a good stiff walk somewhere nice and be kind to yourself.

 

I wish you all the best for the future. Do keep popping back into the forum, we are all here to support you. We all feel just like you at some point during the year!

[Guest]

Oh Superstar - if I could come and help you I would!

We all know what it is like to look after children who's behaviour wants to make you cry!

 

Do you have a TA/classroom help? I hope you do if one of your children is still in nappies!

 

Can't really suggest anything as I don't know what tricks you have tried. Doesn't help when the parents don't care either.

 

You will get support from us forum lot though....hope someone else can be of more use?

 

ppp

 

Thanks for your reply. Just reading your kind words has made me feel a little better. I'm just feeling so alone at the minute.

The way our system works means that we have a TA and a HLTA but they both work in our third (indoor/outdoor) classroom with a group of children. That leaves me and the other teacher with 20 children each. Which last year worked fine, but this year I'm really struggling not having anyone directly at hand to help.

Friday is always worse as it is ICT and PE days and the support I get then is more of a hinderance than a help as the usual HLTA covers on a Friday.

I have tried all the positive reinforcement, behaviour charts, singing to get attention, music to get attention, instruments, "Can you do what I do?" to get attention, time out, seeing parents. All the stuff that has always worked straight away with my previous three classes. This class are just impossible to crack! I cannot believe that 30 4 year olds are causing me so much stress!!! It's unbelievable.

[Guest]

NO words of wisdom...but plenty of empathy and sympathy and hugs for you...what a nightmare....the positive thing I can take from this being at Preschool is knowing how important it is for me to do our job to get the children to Reception behaving and showing some respect for their teacher.....good luck...someone else will be along with kind words.....hang on in there and use this forum to help support you through this.....

[AnonyMouse_19762]

Oh SuperStar - I am genuinely sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time........I completely agree with other posts......especially shirel's point that as pre-school teachers we do work extremely hard to ensure the children we 'send on' to school know how to behave.........

 

How completely dreadful (in my humble opinion) that you are not getting support from these children's parents.........says it all really......

 

Do hope things soon start to improve for you........and remember we are all here for you.......

 

As for the tears - perhaps you should have a good cry - can be so cathartic.......

 

Bless you - take care

Sunnyday

[Guest]

Oh SuperStar

 

Have a BIG virtual hug from me!!

 

I've heard many stories from the parents of children I childmind about their classes - they all teach early years -and they'd recognise what you say!

 

How sad that the children don't know how to behave and even sadder that their parents don't care

 

It's very early days, give yourself a nice relaxing weekend and I'm sure some wise reception teachers on here will be along with some practical advice, hints and tips.

 

Take care,

 

Nona

[Guest]

I remember a year like that and one thing I did was do too much in a short space of time.

 

This is not meant to be critical at all, but this was pointed out to me .

 

OK so these 7 boys you have are only 4? They are probably not used or ever made to sit down. Lower your expectation of the length of time they will sit for, may be use a timer 1 minute, then 2. Present it as achallenge and then really reward those that manage it....loads of praise.

 

CAn you separate them a bit so not all together and really use the outdoor curriculum and space to develop their learning and their skills and rewaRD THEM aS i'M SURE THAT YOU DO, FOR ALL THEIR GOOD EFORTS. Sorry, caps don't mean anything at all just pressed wrong key.

 

You sound like you have tried loads of strategies. May be this is too much too soon. Have they had enough time to absorb the info and expectations. Are they confused? Are your expectations and ways to ahieve them clear or clouded by the diferent approaches that you have tried.

 

Believe me, this is al said in hindsight and memories of being a young teacher.

 

Your Head is probaly right, you will get there and it is only early days for these children, although it seems that the summer was years ago!!!!

 

You have shown that you know you can do it, and have had successes in the past. Keep reminding your self of this and try to relax over the wekend. Not easily done, but esential that you do.

 

The little b#####s are testing you too and the parents may not have control over them either!!!! So you may be the first person to have expectations.

 

Enough of me and my waffle.

 

Take heart and know you can do it and lots of hugs

[Guest]

Poor you..things sound very tricky for you right now and you have tried very hard with all those different strategies. Well done for being so creative!!

 

At our place we (the adults) use a smiley face system which consists of us all wearing necklaces with a smiley face on green card, ( to show we are happy) an amber card with a face with a straight line for the mouth ( to show we are not so happy) , a face with a sad mouth on red (to show we are sad) and a face on white card with a hand by it (to show you have to wait).

We all use these cards to show our emotions when the children are/ are not behaving. The visual clues work well and it means we don't have to look at the child misbehaving which is often what they want us to do.

As far as carpet time is concerned we use coloured carpet tiles for specific children to sit on. We place the tiles at strategic places on the carpet to keep particular children apart and it often helps to make the child feel special and builds their self esteem.

If I were you next week I would simplify the curriculum as much as possible..don't do ICT or change for PE or expect to keep to the planning. Think over last 2 weeks..what activities have gone well, what have the boys enjoyed and do more of that to help them feel good about school. Try to relax a little, keep the activities practical and short and like the others have said you will get through this tough time. You are a good teacher..you have proved that over the last 3 years!

 

Lots of good wishes for a good night sleep

 

Redbase

 

I also have a child in nappies and he did a very messy, smelly one today.

[Guest]

Oh dear - so sorry you are having these problems.

 

Do you have any class rules. These can be suggested by children and adapted by you.

 

When I had reception (I am now retired) I had the following:

 

Sit still on your bottom.

 

Put up your hand and wait.

 

Always walk in the classroom.

 

Always try to do your best.

 

Keep your hands and feet to yourself.

 

 

Give praise and reward to the children who are following the class rules.

 

 

As a school we had houses and points for good behaviour, also certificates for individual children. This worked for us - do hope you find something that works for you with this group of children.

[AnonyMouse_3307]

Absolutely right, they are pushing the boundaries to see how far they and you will go. Behaviour when it is all exciting and new can go right off the rails and it is about the slow and steady approach - but don't give in to them.

Be very clear and consistent about what WILL happen if they don't behave and follow through every single time. Build up your relationships with their parents - look for things you can praise them for in front of their mum/dad etc. Then when you have a negative thing to report they may take it more seriously because they will know you are a fair and balanced person! They have to get to know you as much as the other way around!

 

Go back to your senco/senior person and ask for a 1 - 1 meeting to discuss behaviour management strategies. It's your right as a professional to get advice from experienced members of the school team when you need it.

 

Small steps in time with praise and rewards for those doing the right thing (all 22 of them) can also be good - being allowed to do something special or go somewhere....that kind of thing. Maybe a raffle ticket with a name goes in a box every 1/4 session with a daily draw for a special thing to do or play with or use...glitter pens or special cars etc etc. That way you can reinforce the real positives you are seeing and not dwell on the negative stuff so much?

 

They may not be your favourite group ever but by the summer you'll think back to this and laugh!!!

Cx

[Guest]

Hi, you've had lots of good advice already but I didn't want to read without posting my support.

 

I'd reiterate the idea of going to your SENCo, that kid in nappies obviously has some serious issues. Get the process of assessment started right now. I'd also contact any nurseries or pre schools where those children went and see whether anything was done about this previously.

 

Develop selective hearing - when those boys say 'no' just ignore them, repeat what you've asked and if they refuse, apply a sanction.

 

Don't forget to focus on all those children who are doing what you want, rather than wasting too much energy on the attention seeking naughty ones.

 

Good luck. Your head obviously has faith in you, it will come right in time, and as long as you document what you've tried Ofsted can't be too hard on you.

[AnonyMouse_64]

You have had such good advice here already. Please don't feel like a failure already - it really is very early days in the school year and some children take longer than others to adjust to new routines and expectations. Also, don't underestimate that testosterone boost that Panders mentioned. These boys can't control or understand the energy and feelings that are flowing through them at the moment - it is a very confusing time for them. Additionally if there are no limits at home, they won't be used to trying to control their behaviour so you are having to do it all.

 

I would definitely go 'back to basics' and throw out any fancy stuff. Keep the day simple and make sure that all of your staff team are dealing with the boys in a consistent way with everyone using the same strategies. Good luck.

[Guest]

Thank you all for your kind words of support and your advice.

Going to try and have a relaxing weekend - starting from now!!

Then go back in on Monday morning with a clear head, and try again.

I am going to take your ideas and suggestions on board - but until Monday my school head is officially off!!!

 

Thanks again,

 

SuperStar

[Guest]

Good girl!!

[Guest]

Hi, I don't work in Reception but I do sometimes help out in school and this year I have helped in reception where there was a very badly behaved child. I had absolutely no influence in anyway over getting her to come and join the others on the carpet. I watched for how the teacher would deal with it and although she did not get her to directly do what we wanted, I noticed she used nothing but kind words and praise, which I realised at least kept the situation (which I was beginning to think was uncontrolled) nice and calm. She would carry on and do the lesson to the rest of the class and now and then say 'Well done X for sitting so still and choosing to listen', So even tho she wasn't joining in, it APPEARED as if the teacher was happy with the situation and gave the IMPRESSION that the teacher was in control. Don't know if that is any help to you, but I think I learned something from it.