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Empty Nest?


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I was really proud of mine as they went and I knew that this was the next stage of growing up and we had to let go. :o The lads came back now and again, and we had lots of washing! As a parent I saw myself as someone who was here if they needed me. They have always kept in touch, and help out with computer issues ( both of them knowledgeable and helping us oldies) and with their sister who has LD and ASD. Not that I ask them to be responsible for her, as they have their own lives, but they want to help occasionally. We did what was needed when we could, and were there to support when there were troubled times, especially for our youngest, who came home to live for a while after being attacked and injured, and then having money problems. They are fine now and I am proud that they are honest and caring individuals. I now have a lovely daughter-in-law, three grandchildren and a fantastic relationship with them all. Having grandchildren is so satisfying and I feel a job well done.

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My two have been through uni and are now fully independent, but I still miss them and worry about them, even though they are both settled in good jobs and have long-term girlfriends (one engaged). We have downsized and moved, so it is lovely when they come to visit at weekends.

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xD Im also in the same position my, daughter went off to Uni yesterday and we are all very proud of her.

 

I love her so much but I am also glad the day has come, she was already living independantly in our home going here, there and eveywhere. When she came home from the course and breaks she expected us all to fit around her 'as normal' and this cause minor conflicts with her yonger brother and sometimes me.

 

All my family and friends said there would be tears when we dropped her off but there wasnt although she did 'well up'.

 

The amusing thing is sent her a text asking her if she had had enough yet and wanted to come home, she replied 'I know your missing me mum but dont worry I will be home this weekend' . . . Oh dear we forgot to tell her we were away :o

 

I sent her a short text back oh sorry we will be away all weekend and the reply i got was ' oh oky i'll use your washing machine and eat yor food and drink your wine and run back up here before I get nagged'.

 

I then got the first slightly drunken phone call at 23:30 'hiyyyyyyyyyyya mum been in the SU bar made some friends and I'm going to love this'

 

:wacko: :(:(:(

 

She will be a wonderful teacher and I hope she has a brilliant time - despite this or any future Government hiking all this debt on them before life begins . . . shame on them!

Edited by Guest
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You lot are so lovely, thanks for all your kindness. Today's been a bit better and I actually went to the gym instead of just paying the bill. Maybe they won't recognise me when they come home, hehe!

:o

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Having a horrible time right now, I mean, just look at the time for goodness sake!!

Son phoned at 1am to tell us he's just had a fight with 2 lads who stopped him, his friend and their girlfriends as they walked home from the pub. These low life scum bags stood across their path and asked 'where you going nigger?' to my sons friend. After a few fisticuffs they went home and ended the evening with a brick being thrown though their window. Police have been involved and they said it happens a lot in that area. Now I'm searching the internet for student lets in a better place.

I'm so livid I cant tell you. I'm appalled and disgusted and incensed at such language. Son was upset that he'd fought rather than tried to walk away but honestly I'd just love to get my bloody hands on them. How dare they? :o

 

Oh I could rant all night....

Edited by Rea
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Oh Rea how dreadful. I hope they find these thugs and throw the book at them. As you say, it is a disgusting (and I would say cowardly) act - I hope your lad and his friends are able to put it behind them, and that you are able to find your son somewhere better to call home.

 

Love and big hugs,

Maz

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Sorry to hear this Rea. I hope there are no other after-effects other than a broken window and a son who's upset that he had to compromise his principles and fight these racist thugs.

 

Rant away......I could feel myself getting riled at the injustice of all this......when kids can't even enjoy a night out without been set upon by *%$£**.

 

Hope you feel better soon.

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Thanks guys. :o

I cant think of any other time when I've felt so angry. When son got beat up earlier this year I wanted to go out with an iron bar and find who did it, but this anger is so different. Then, he'd been attacked randomy, it could have been anyone who walked up that road, but this is a personal attack, racism is so low, so nasty and hurtful.

Only about a month ago a man my hubby knows was using some choice language in declaring his support for the BNP. I told what I thought and since then he's called me 'paki lover'. Why do people insist on seeing colour? What goes through their minds when they say these things? I have to say I'm totally flumoxed by their behaviour. xD

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Have just returned from depositing son in new digs for second year at uni (quick sob - must be getting used to it). :o

 

He has fab. housemates and a fridge and freezer full of food. xD

 

Have requested he eats better and drinks less (do his liver good) but don't hold out much hope. :(

 

Remember the mantra

 

Roots to grow and wings to fly (its the hardest part of the mummy job me thinks) :( :wacko: :rolleyes: xD:(

 

Better go and distract myself now before facade cracks

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Have just returned from depositing son in new digs for second year at uni (quick sob - must be getting used to it). :o

 

He has fab. housemates and a fridge and freezer full of food. xD

 

Have requested he eats better and drinks less (do his liver good) but don't hold out much hope. :(

 

Remember the mantra

 

Roots to grow and wings to fly (its the hardest part of the mummy job me thinks) :( :wacko: :rolleyes: xD:(

 

Better go and distract myself now before facade cracks

 

Big virtual hugs - gosh, I'm already tearful and mine's taken a gap year - just horrid thinking of her managing without mum to clear up, clean up and be there if it all goes wrong! x

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Rea - I feel your anger....makes my blood boil too......unfortunately even in the country suburbs we have many incidences of racism....lots of narrow minded people in this world.....I can't bear it...sending virtual hugs and empathy.... :o

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Gosh Rea, I was so shocked to read your post. There are some vile people in this world aren't there. Big hugs coming your way from me too. Alex & her halls had a chat from the police this week about how dangerous it is where they are and gave them loads of rules 'don't go out alone after dark' etc etc. She has listened and learned which is good but I've been on the Suzie lamplugh website and ordered her several rape alarms too....

Being a Mum is sooooooooooo hard at times like this isn't it?

(but the 'empty nest party on saturday helped a lot - it was great fun and took my mind off it all just for a bit! :o )

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