Bed Wetting

[Guest]

Hi there everyone,

 

I wasn't quite sure where to post this query so apologies if it is in the wrong area. I am currently working as a nanny and one of the children I look after is 8 years old. She wets the bed at least once a month mimimum but can be as often as 2-3 times a week. I know that on the times that is is less common it is not really unusual but when would you normally expect it to stop completely. Also probably worth mentioning that during the summer holidays she had no wet beds. She is one of the youngest in her year and I know that she doesn't find school particularly easy, however I think a lot of this is due to her attitude, she has very low self esteem and always takes the approach that she won't be able to do something despite the fact that she is usually proved wrong. I have tried lots of different things to improve her confidence, she gets so much praise. rewards for doing well etc. I have, neither has mum or dad ever directly mentioned the bed wetting to her, we just simply clean up the mess. (is this the wrong approach?). I'm sure that if I could improve her self belief and confidence the bed wetting would stop, any ideas??? Also as yet this has not been discussed with school, however it is parents evening this week and I have had a chat with mum about bringing this up with the school.

 

Anyway sorry to ramble on I would just be interested in what verybody thinks to this situation or what approach they would take

 

Thanks

 

Rapunzel x

[AnonyMouse_13453]

Is it just during summer holidays or over other holidays too? I mean, is it all year round or could it be a bed temperature thing? I only mention it because my cousins wet the bed in winter but not in summer

[Guest]

No it seems to be all year round, i just noticed that it stopped in the holidays and I thought we'd finally cracked it but within a week of going back to school it started again. Before this year i've not really payed much attention to it because i know that some children take longer than others to gain this skill, i'm just starting to think is it normal (sorry, hate that word) to be doing it at this age, and especially just during school time

[AnonyMouse_13453]

I think some children just do - my cousins must have been 10 ish before they stopped completely. I think nowadays there's alarms you can use that wake the child up if they start to wee, or something. My son occasionally wet his bed so I used to take him to the toilet as we went to bed at about 11 ish. He'd still be sort of asleep, it didn't really wake him up, but he did his stuff and went back to bed, bladder empty. He was only3 or 4 though, but it might be worth a try

[AnonyMouse_1195]

It does sound as if it is anxiety related doesn't it and I'm sure she will feel badly about wetting the bed which is something else to add to her low self-esteem? This site might help

http://www.eric.org.uk/

[AnonyMouse_1469]

The most obvious question that springs to my mind: is she having problems at school, such as being bullied, or does she 'fit in'?? I wonder if the other children are giving her a hard time........since things seem to settle during holidays? Or, of course, she might be anxious about getting her schoolwork right....does she have pressure from teachers, or her parents, that eases when she's not at school?The other possibilty is that she's so tired after school that she simply sleeps through her need to wee and is blissfully unaware.

It's great that she's not told off for wetting her bed, but what about getting HER to strip it and put the sheets in the washing machine.......it might just trigger a realisation that it's not much fun to have to sort it out?? She could help to change the bed etc, no fuss, all very matter of fact, but let her do it?? That seemed to help my daughter through her problem, though f course, she might have just grown out of it?

[AnonyMouse_2732]

Yes, narnia, that's what we did with our son.

[Guest]

My niece had this and when they took her to the doctor it turned out to be a medical issue rather than a psychological one. Please encourage the parents to take her along to the doctor, there are lots of options they can use to help - it may be something to do with her bladder.

 

I'd also back up the recommendation for the eric website, it has been very helpful to me in the past with a different issue.

[Guest]

Just wondering if you have contacted a health visitor.

 

My son was still wetting the bed occasionally at the age of 8 (third of 4 children, none of the others had this problem) and was supplied with various 'waking up pads, sheets' which had alarms etc. which did the job.

 

Rachel

[Guest]

Hi everyone,

 

Thankyou so much for taking the time to respond. As yet I hadn't thought about contacted doctors, health visitors etc because I wasn't sure what age a child should be before they would consider that it needed investigating because I know that it is really common for children to do this. However after reading your responses I have decided to have a chat ith mum and dad about taking her to the doctor to see what if anything they recommend. Also thank-you for the website link i have found it very interesting.

 

Thanks again

 

Rapunzel

[AnonyMouse_9650]

It could be that she is extremely tired if it ties in with school and therefore sleeps very deeply thereby "missing" the sensation to go - in that case the alarmed underblankets are quite useful as they ring out when the wetting starts.

[Guest]

don't really have any more advice on bed-wetting but just wanted to say you sound like a really lovely caring nanny rapunzel, they are a very lucky family, mrsW.x

[AnonyMouse_12805]

I became quite an 'expert' on bedwetting due to 3 out of my 4 children doing it!!

My 2 girls were around 5 years old, with my eldest being about 9 until she stopped properly. At one point I was heavily pregnant with my 4th and had 3 of them wetting the bed every night, when I look back now I really dont know how I coped with all that bedding. My 3rd (a boy) was nearly 12 yrs before he stopped and he went almost overnight. One night he wet the bed the next night he didn't. Often it would be twice a night as well. I tried everything with him, lifting him out, restricting his fluids, bed buzzer (useless woke the rest of the house and he just slept through it!) None of it worked, we just came to the conclusion that they/he had to grow out of it, which he did. There are special 'bed wetting' clinics you can go to but gp's wont look at them until they are 7 (or they didn’t) My 2 brothers wet the bed, so did my husband and his brothers until they were all nearly in their teens, so to me it was just normal and part of growing up and such a surprise when my youngest didn't!! I did take my eldest daughter to someone about it but she had stopped by the time we were referred and talking to a Dr about it they said that given our family history of bed wetting it wasn't a surprise that mine did. My son is now 24 and when he is asleep nothing wakes him up, you can put the light on, play music, the tv and he wont stir, So whether that had something to do with it, such a heavy sleeper? Surprisingly enough once they all stopped the bed wetting, it was rare for any of them to wake in the night to use the toilet.

[Guest]

My son is 10 and never had a dry night, i found it such a slow process, it didnt help that i didnt pull my finger out till he was 8 as i thought he would grow out of it!! Had a bed alarm given by my clinic and hes had 5 dry nights in a row! after having it for 7 weeks, so i would say its worth trying anything, i really didnt think a alarm would work but its done brill for us.

[Guest]

Hi, I have just been to a bed wetting clinic today with my son. He is 8 and has always had problems going through the night with out a mishap. He sometimes had an accident twice in the night. I never paid too much attention, thinking he would grow out of it, but then the sleep over requests started to come and I was getting a little anxious. However, when he asked me a few months ago why he couldn't wake up and go to the toilet like his 5 year old sisters, that is when I went to our Doctors for advice.

 

The clinic was held in a health centre by the School Nurse and she was brilliant. She asked questions about routines and the types of drinks he has and then gave me some advice to follow.

 

Because of what I told her she believed that my son's bladder has not expanded enough to hold enough liquid for longer periods of time. This makes sense because he does go to the toilet often. Her theory is that if his bladder was expanded he could hold more liquid before needing to physically going to the toilet. So we are having to expand his bladde by making him drink a lot more drink. He will need to go to toilet quite a lot over the next few weeks, but it will soon even out. In theory, anyway. However, this means that I need to speak to his school and say he has a health condition that needs him to go to the toilet as and when he needs to. (not a problem as I work there).

 

Her next bit of advice was on the type of drink he drinks. He can no longer have Summer fruit squash or any other berry squash because this somehow affects his bladder. Same a fizzy drinks (although he only has these as a special treat) Milk and milkshakes also need to be limited and only then he is not allowed to have them within 2 hours of his bedtime.

 

She also suggested that he helps me change the bed!

 

I am also not allowed to take him to the toilet when I go to bed, because that supposedly teaches his body to go to the toilet when it is not fully awake. And his bedroom also needs to be dim, so only a small nightlight, because if there is too much light in the room the body thinks it is day time and will produce more urine. She also supplied a star chart for him to use. He colours in the stars in accordance as to whether he has had a dry or wet night. (red star for wet etc.)

 

The nurse did say it is a long old slog, but will be worth it. We have another appointment in two weeks time. So it wil be interesting to see what happens.

 

So after all that rambling (sorry!), my advice would be to see if it actually bothers her. If she is unhappy about the situation, then something should be done. Speak to the parents and let them know that help is there if they need it.

 

Good luckx

[Guest]

Plummie, thats the same with me and my son, had the same advice too, wrote down for weeks what he had drunk and how much he passes, went back got the alarm and its working! also his confidence has grown loads.

[AnonyMouse_64]

Thanks for sharing yours and your sons experience with us Plummie. I'm sure that will be very useful for many people. I've deleted your double post for you.