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Parental Wishes - A Step Too Far?


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For the past few weeks our setting has been preparing for Christmas, as I'm sure most of us are! so circle time is now dominated by learning songs for the Christmas concert. We have a 3 yr old whose parents do not want him to participate in any Christmas related activity due to their religious beliefs, and I completely respect and understand this. So whilst the others are learning the Christmas songs, one of the staff members accompanies the child at the computer or reads with him. This worked well to start with, but for the past few days as soon as he sees the chairs being arranged for circle time he sits down and refuses to move.

 

We have tried to do the singing at different times, different seat formations, but he can see all the other children congregating and wants to be with them, understandably

His parents say that they have explained to him that he isn't to join in and they says he understands :o

 

We only have one room so even if he is not in the circle he is very close and can hear the singing. On Tuesday he refused to move, one of the other staff suggested that we abandon the Christmas singing. I said we should carry on! (don't know if this was right or wrong! but the other 23 children have to be considered as well) so he sat in the circle with his friends and we did the singing.

 

The parents were informed what had happened, and they say they do not want him involved with the singing, it has been suggested that we physically remove him from the circle and take him to another part of the room.

 

I am happy to distract, coax and tempt this child over to the computer but to physically remove him just doesn't feel right. I think he just wants to be with his friends in the circle and I am sure he doesnt understand why he is being excluded.

 

Opinions at work are mixed, one staff member says that when she did her NVQ she was told that parental wishes should take priority. I said the welfare of the child should come first, he only started in September and had some communication and behavioural issues. He is finally making friends, his communication and social skills have improved immensley, and this situation is not doing him any good.

 

So what do you think?

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I agree with Hali, if the child is causing a problem, and not wanting to leave his new friends (which is totally understandable) then I think the parents need to take a more active role in helping him not join in with the Christmas activities. Hopefully if you explain to the parents they should be open to this- after all it's not like you want him to leave early all the time, just the run up to a concert.

Good luck with it.

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we had similar one year.. we had parents bring child in a bit later.. it was better for the parents thay way round so we worked our day so we could sing then, another time a parent used to remove child for end of session...

 

have had this quite often, one year we were asked not to do nativity, etc, but Christmas and Santa were Ok..

 

and one year we did a winter theme... so all could be included in all activities..

 

We always had parents become very involved in how we dealt with it..

 

just an idea , could you split the singing with half group doing something else in a group, and each time this child is in the non Christmas group.. It could be a quiet but engaging game like guess what is in the box or something..

 

Inge

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Guest tinkerbell

I am in a reception class.In the past I have had a Jehovahs witness child and the parents took him out of school for 2 weeks at christmas.I have also had Jehovahs witness children whohave taken part in Christmas

 

Tinkerbell

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In the past I have had a Jehovahs witness child and the parents took him out of school for 2 weeks at christmas

 

Same for me with every JW child we have had.If we had a birthday with a quiet word they picked up 15mins early.The parents need to work with you though.

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I agree that we have to work with parent on this issue.

 

We've had 2 children from a JW family in the past. The children were very aware of what they could and couldn't do. Sometimes they would sit out in the book corner when we practised songs for the Christmas concert. Other times they would sit in the circle but not sing. Same thing with other celebrations.......mother's/father's/birthday cards were replaced with 'I love you mummy/daddy/whoever cards'. Parents would make other arrangements on the day of the concert.

 

I don't really agree with taking the Nativity out of Christmas and just leaving the santa bit in. We wouldn't not tell the story of Rama and Sita for Diwali would we. :o

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