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Stressful Day


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My 29 year old daughter is expecting her 1st baby on january 17th. She had the routine blood test done last Monday to check for Down Syndrome, she got a call from the hospital to day to say she has a 75% chance of have one. My daughter have been told she could have the other test carried out but she would have a high chance of miss carrying as she is already suffering with idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura (ITP) (low platelet count) They said she would need a very stong dose of steriods for at least a week or more before the test to build up her blood. At the moment my daughter is not sure if she realy wants to take the risk, she is thinking about taking the chance that they say is about 1-150 that it would have it. I realy dont know what to say to her and her partner, all I want to do a the moment is cry.

She have got to phone hospital tomorrow to let them know what they have decided to do.

 

Will keep you up dated when I find out more.

 

Rosie

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It's hard to know what to say that would help.

 

I'm sure you'll support your daughter in whatever decision she makes.

 

If she does end up having a child with Down Syndrome I guess you'll all take some time to come to terms with the news in your own way and then concentrate in adoring the beautiful child who arrives.

 

Having a child with special needs isn't all bad. There are some difficult times but there are plenty of wonderful ones too.

 

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that your daughter gets the news she would like to hear.

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I'm sorry you're having such worries over this. Can your daughter and her partner ask to see a consultant urgently,( they can phone the consultant's secretary to get this) so they can have some proper counselling over this, rather than a phone call asking what they want to do? That way, they can go through all the possible issues and risks and will be better informed when they decide what to do?

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First of all love and hugs to you and your family at a very difficult time.

 

If it were me I would want far more than phone conversations - to deliver this news to your daughter by phone is a little 'off' in my opinion and to then leave her to make a decision and expect her to phone back within a relatively short space of time seems rather unfair.

 

If it were me I would be asking for a face to face meeting where everything is clearly explained. I can imagine your distress and guess all you can do is offer your daughter your unceasing support in whichever way she needs it.

 

I imagine you must have lots of questions and feel you all need to be fully informed before being able to make any decision - is it possible to arrange a meeting with her consultant- if so I recommend taking pen and paper - an emotional discussion sometimes results in being unable to fully remember what was said.

 

Sorry I really feel there is nothing I can say to help you but hope the knowledge that we are all here will be of some comfort to you.

 

Do come back and let us know how you are all doing -

 

take care and be kind to yourself

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I am stunned to hear they called to tell her this instead of asking her to come to the Dr's office, but I can imagine that if one was told to go, then one could imagine the outcome. Anyway, many times this test has said the baby has DS, yet later on it comes out it doesn't. I recall someone going through the trauma of aborting the child because of the possibility of DS and discovering that the child was a 100% normal, but then it was too late.

 

Yes, indeed, one desires to have a completely healthy child, but who guarantees that the baby will not get sick later on during pregnancy, labour or post-partum? Many children have been born without any SN and then something happens, a high fever, a fall, etc. My niece was born okay and had a car accident when she was 11, burns and brain damage. She now seems normal to those who see her, but she has some degree of MR. My nephew was okay as well, but he was too big and the Dr wanted to keep trying a natural birth. Finally had to do C section. He has ADHD. Could it have been caused because of this forced labour?

 

Anyway, I can truly understand your sad emotions in this moment and how your daughter must feel... a big hug. I will pray for all of you and your precious grandchild.

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Hi,

 

I am thinking of you all, it must be very stressful and upsetting for you. My nephew was born with DS and my sister in law did not know, she had had the test say there was next to no chance at all. It has been a journey as she had cysts on her ovaries during her pregnancy, later resulting in her having to have a hysterectomy at 31 years old. She can not have any more children, and with hindsight is very grateful she did not find out about the DS before, as who knows what their decision would have been. She still would have got the cysts and thus may have ended up having no children. She is a member of lots of lovely toddler groups and support groups, and my nephew is a wonderful little boy (aged 4). It has not been without its stresses, but then that is parenting full stop, with out without diagnosed special needs.

 

I hope she gets some support in her decision, and it all works out for you all

 

Clare xxx

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Thanks to everyone for your support. The hospital contacted Michelle this morning, she has decided to wait until her scan which is on the 23rd August to see if anythink shows up. She said to me today that she dont want to risk the test incase she loss the baby, They said you have up to 26 weeks if you decided to end the pregnency. You can have the test done at any stage throughout your pregnecy. When she went for 16 check up with the midwife, Michelle was able to hear the heart beat, which they said was very strong, She said she was realy looking forward to her scan on the 23rd as her 1st was when she was 10 weeks so it was hard to make much out, she know says she wants it but she is rather nervise sbout it, they have an appointment to see a consultant after the scan. Michelle said if she did decide to have test it would be later in the pregnency when the baby have a chance of surviving.

I am trying to be positive when she is around as I dont want her to get upset as I am. The only let down is that I am away on holiday from Saturday for 2 weeks, The 1st in Monyash and the 2 camping nearer home, and my mobile phone dont have any signal at either.

 

I will keep you all updated when I return home.

 

Thanks again for all your kind support, just needed someone to talk to with out being face to face as soon as I mension it I am in tears.

 

Rosemarie

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Hello Rosemarie

Just wanted to say that I know 2 women who after having the blood test were both told similar to your daughter (quite a high percentage of having a baby with DS)Both of them had healthy babies.

 

I hope this is the case for your daughter but what ever the outcome im sure you will find the strenght to support her . Thinking of you and sending you a huge hug. Unsworth

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  • 3 weeks later...

Just to up date you My Daughter went for her scan on Monday, There is nothing showing up on the scan to indecate any problems, they told her they cannot full say the baby would be born ok. We are all feeling more positive and have decided to put it behind us and hope for the best. Because of her blood problem they said they would not be able to use and instruments at the delivery so if any problems they would op for C-section.

 

Many thanks for all the support

 

Rosemarie

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