Guest Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 my friend asked me what is classed as "expressed indecent behaviour" her little boy held his 'gf ' hand on the carpet and he got confused and said to another little one to be his lover! he is only 4 years old and when his mam asked him whats a lover he said i loveher . (i love her) is this classed at indecent behaviour? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Sorry lulu3654, I am a little confused what is 'gf' hand??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 its a girl in his class who he says is his girl friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Oh my goodness how out of touch am I. I wouldn't call this "expressed indecent behaviour", more like innocent behaviour, he obviously likes this little girl and I think that at his age and stage of development he is learning how to express himself! What does anyone else think or have I totally missed something? Debbie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_79 Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Has it been suggested that this is? Im not familiar with the terminology but it sounds like innocent children to me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_4544 Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 I'm not familiar with the term either (perhaps I should be as CP designated teacher) but I wouldn't be worried by the behaviour in the slightest and certainly wouldn't call it indecent in any shape or form. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_13453 Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 I don't think it is either, I think it's an innocent expression of friendship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 expressed indecent behaviour was from the teacher my friend was shocked as she asked her to come in to the school for a chat and she used the term indecent behaviour he is 4 years and thinks everyone is his girl friend. i was going to speak to my friend but she is worried the school are going to take it further Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_79 Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Oh dear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_1999 Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Well maybe I have lost the plot! The situation you describe is, in my opinion totally innocent behaviour from a 4yr old. I don't understand 'expressed indecent behaviour' I have heard the term 'displayed inappropriate behaviour' but never the use of 'indecent' when talking about such young children Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_8466 Posted October 14, 2010 Share Posted October 14, 2010 Indecency has an express definition in law, but in layman's terms what constitutes indecency would vary according to one's own personal values and sensitivities. I would never use it to describe behaviour unless this behaviour fulfilled the legal definition of indecency and even then I would query its use when referring to children. The behaviour you describe lulu3654 would hardly fit the description of 'indecent' in anyone's terminology, in my opinion. If it were me I'd be inclined to ring the NSPCC helpline and describe what has happened and get reassurance that this behaviour is entirely natural for a four year old, so that if the school did take it further I would be very certain of my facts. I wonder if someone has recently done some safeguarding training and has over-reacted? Will be interesting to see how this progresses, although I know from the parent's point of view it will probably be an absolute nightmare, worrying about what is going to happen next. Maz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SueFinanceManager Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 What a shame.....a little boy tells a friend he loves her and mum gets called into school! Times change and the phrase 'love' is used all the time. My children 16 and 13 now, one of each gender often tell their friends 'love you' ... nearly all texts seem to end in kisses x x x Sad world if we can't express loving feelings to each other without fear of getting in trouble. Maybe this little boy should tell his teacher he loves her too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 How awful for your friend - an innocent and lovely comment being twisted by an adult mind. Im a Scot living in the West Country when I first moved here I thought it really funny as 'my lover' is a very common term of endearment in this part of the country !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Oh, really! Not indecent at all. Use of lover might cause practitioner to ask what he meant by the word, and he provided a perfectly age-appropriate explanation of it being someone you love. So not sure why this went further. Tell your friend she is lucky to have an affecctionate little chap who gets on well with everyone. Tell the teacher you are concerned with her sexualising small children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_2732 Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Tell the teacher you are concerned with her sexualising small children. Nice one, lolo! I agree with you all, totally - indecent behaviour indeed! As you have all said, just an innocent 4-year-old remark. And I've never heard that expression either. Sue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_4544 Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Nice one, lolo! I agree with you all, totally - indecent behaviour indeed! As you have all said, just an innocent 4-year-old remark. And I've never heard that expression either. Sue She'd be horrified with our little dears who often say they have "sexed" each other when they mean hugged Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_1469 Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Ok, this is an innocent remark nd the teacher has over-reacted. Simple. BUT what are a parents rights IF the school calls in social services and the family is then accused of wrong-doing..........then they are all taken for police interview and their child is video-taped at a police station and the family questioned for several hours, all on a comment made by another child, aged 6 and not connected to the family?This then turns out to be something that concerns the other child, not this family at alll and they are told, 'no problem, we made a mistake'........................what are this family's legal rights now?can they insist that the video tape be destroyed, along with all interviews?can they insist that the school should destroy files too? One of my parents has just been in exactly this situation, been put through 2 days of absolute hell, with accusations made to them of terrible things..........all turns out to be another child in their sons class made a comment, involving thier son, so this child's parent went to see the head, who called social services. It now seems this parent was trying to cover up some dreadful stuff in her own home and named a child her daughter plays with to suggest that's where her daughter was gaining her 'knowledge' from.........I am so shocked for this lovely little family and want to support them, but they don't know what their rights are, or where to turn next.To be told 'oh we made a mistake, you're in the clear' IS a relief, of course, but who wants stuff like that left on file? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_13453 Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 goodness! how dreadful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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