Children's Rights

[AnonyMouse_25331]

Hi all,

 

While I'm all for supporting children's rights (obviously! - in my line of work!), it does puzzle me a little bit....

 

My 10 year old needs to have a mole removed (it's 'probably' OK but irritates and is best removed) anyway he had a bit of a wobble when the anaethestic was going to be admininistered and so Dr would do it, especially without son's consent

 

Now I know I can't pin him down and insist that he has this down but I wasn't given the chance to try an persuade him. Is he able, even at 10, to understand the implications of saying no? am I just being a controlling mum by thinking I should have been more persuasive?

 

Just hope Dr's assumption is right - and it's OK...

 

Any thoughts?

Edited February 15, 2011 by mps09

[Guest]

Have you googled Gillick competence?

 

Only you can say whether your son is able to make this decision. Perhaps have a chat with him at a better moment about why he was worried, what he wants to happen etc.

[AnonyMouse_8466]

Ten is a tricky age - beginning to be able to assert your own opinions but sometimes not in possession of all the facts/skills needed to make the right choices. It is hard to say whether ten is old enough to make decisions like these - personally I think a lot depends on the life experiences of the ten year old.

 

One positive thing to come out of this is that your son knows his feelings and views are important and that he will be listened to - imagine how traumatising it could have been for both of you if he had been forced to go ahead against his will? However I think it is sad that you weren't given the opportunity to talk to him and try to help him see why having the op (and therefore the anaesthetic) is so important. My guess is that theatre time is so tight that there wasn't time to allow this to happen, but who knows whether with a bit of gentle persuasion and a lot of support from his mum, he might have felt able to go ahead. Will he be able to have it done if and when he changes his mind?

 

Mind you I can understand how he felt - I can still vividly remember being given gas when I was small so that the dentist could remove some teeth. Not until my mum chased me round the school playing field a few times though!

[Guest]

I had this done at my GP's surgery. Was it just an injection under the mole? I can understand why he was nervous but it really wasn't painful at all and I'm very glad I had it done as it was in a spot where it rubbed on clothes.

 

Can you take him back and try again? Perhaps with a really cool 'reward' on offer if he is brave enough to go ahead?

 

Sorry that doesn't answer your question about responsibility, I should imagine doctors are very nervous about getting sued these days like everyone else!

[AnonyMouse_3139]

At 10 years old I'd have done exactly what my mom and the doctor said, it would never have crossed my mind that I could refuse. I dont know what the answer is though.

Its a rather grey area isnt it? Age I mean.

I think the age of responsibility from a police point of view is 11 (?) but its not until 16 they are possibly encouraged to go into the GP surgery on their own.

Yet parents are responsible for them until they are 16!

I've always thought the age laws are strange.

 

Tell him my son had one removed last year, it was burned off and he said he didnt feel a thing

[AnonyMouse_3735]

our surgery does them too.. under local which worked well.. had one done myself there.. only took 15 mins... in which case you would likely be there with him as support during it.. so I am assuming it was hospital based.

 

if at hospital sounds like there was not enough preparation by them into what to expect, what was happening, I used to work in a theatre and we allowed mum to be there until child was asleep.. things have perhaps changed in the last 30 years since I worked in theatres!

 

It is scary, mu husband recently had day surgery and he said how daunting it all was with so many people in the room while he was lying flat and all doing things around him when he had no real idea what they were doing.. and that was as an informed adult.. so can imagine what he was going through.

 

perhaps a bit more preparation , he will by now have some idea of what to expect.. ask at hospital if there is some way you can support him more through this...

 

as to doctors listening to the patient.. they cannot force him and better he trusts them than becomes totally negative towards doctors..

[AnonyMouse_15046]

I had a similar experience with my daughter when she was nine, except that she was having her tonsils out. She refused (through sheer terror) to allow them to put in a cannula and in the end they sent us home. They said they couldn't force her. She cried all the way home because she wanted her tonsils out and wanted to go back and try again. She had not refused the op, she had been too scared to let them put a needle in.

 

I had asked them to use a pre-med - they had given her Calpol!

 

They rebooked the op 3 months later and used a proper pre-med. It went fine but it did mean that she had three more months of daily antibiotics which I wasn't happy about.

 

Would it be worth asking if you can re-book the op but ask them to give him a mild sedative beforehand to help him with his anxiety? As long as he was in agreement with the plan they would still be getting his consent but in a much less stressful way for him.