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Seriously Fed Up


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Hello everyone, I'm here for a moan, I hope you don't mind! Some sympathy would be nice too as I really feel like giving it all up right now.

 

I feel like I spend all my time working, if I'm not actually there I'm working at home, or waking in the night worrying about something that needs doing. There just aren't enough hours in the day to do everything.

 

This morning I went into work early (as usual) and found that someone had made a mess outside pre-school which looked awful so had to be cleared up before the children turned up - it turned out to be coffee, which was something of a relief! I then found that 2 committee members had seen it on Saturday, but hadn't bothered to clean it up or even let me know. Now am I being unreasonable to expect that? I had 2 e-mails from one of them over the weekend about other issues so it could have been mentioned. This meant that some resources for the day's activities didn't get prepared, and we started the day chasing our tails.

 

I'm also really concerned that I'm not doing enough for the children, the ratios are just too tight. Today for example we have had 3 members of staff with 17 children. Most of the children are 3/4 with three 2 year olds, one of whom only started last week, and one of the 3 year olds needs constant supervision. I know on paper that is okay, but in reality the children are not getting the attention they deserve, and I feel that we lurch from one crisis to another at times. I start the week with plans for one adult to model play in a specific area, but this is just impossible, so often the play is really not very purposeful. I know committee will laugh if I ask for more staff, they are just so money led.

 

I'm not really sure what to do to be honest but I can't go on like this. I also have 2 members of staff at each others throats at the moment, which doesn't help. Really dreading going in tomorrow. Any words of wisdom would be very much appreciated.

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Guest Spiral

Take things one thing at a time.

 

I've been there, am there regularly and really struggle with committee leadership in my setting as those who volunteer rarely understand the nature of non for profit ( I was told not to spend any more than £50 a month on craft and snacks as we only had . . . . .£32,000)!!!!

 

Firstly, there are some things you will need to prioritise (action plan so you know what's what). Your staff must feel that you are in charge and knowledge is power, so please have a good look at the ACAS website and in particular the disciplinary and grievance procedures. You will need to lead your staff and the committee and if you know what to do, how to do it and feel well educated on the matter you will be fine - please don't forget you can also give them a call for advice too.

 

Secondly, have a blow out and eat too much chocolate, or drink a glass of wine or do something for yourself (bath, bubbles and candles are great)!

 

Thridly, your ratio's are tight and I wonder whether your County Council have early years advisors who can offer your committee advice and support in this area? Certainly, the PLA is there for informal advice and they can contact them too so they get a better understanding of the role of the committeee and the importance of keeping staff ratio's to the max rather than the min (I know finance is a huge part of it).

 

Fourthly, aspect two comes into place again!

 

Lastly, when you feel ready to tackle the next bits then you can.

 

Look after yourself, you know you are worth it

 

xx Spiral xx

Edited by Spiral
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Ahh Devondaisy, it makes me quite mad when I read mail like yours from Committee run groups, I fully expect to feel inundated sometimes, but it is my business afterall, but I don't think you should be feeling like this and maybe your committee need a heads up on how you are feeling - if your appraisal isn't soon, ask for a meeting with your chairperson, and see if by telling them that you feel like giving up will make any difference to the way they treat you, I am sure you give an air of confidence and knowing exactly what you are doing - bit like a swan, still on top, but paddling like mad underneath to keep going, but that just means everyone depends on you more. Really go through all that you are responsible for and see if any of it can be handed over to someone else, and see if anyone can come in early and help you set up each morning, even if they do it on a rota system.

 

A mediation meeting with your warring members of staff might be a good start too - they are going to have to respect one anogther's views so that they can work together to support you.

 

Chin up Devondaisy, at worst this is just one of those periods of time when we are pulled in all directions, and feel that nothing gets its true justice, it won't last forever.

 

In the meantime - that choccie bar or indulgent glass of something sounds like an excellent idea. Sometimes a break from it all for a few hours feels like a holiday and boosts us up and seriously if it is waking you up with worry things have to change don't they?

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I can't offer any advise on your work situation because I work in primary so I don't really know how you work but one thing that has really helped me with sleepless nights is to have a piece of paper and a pen at the side of my bed. I often find that the reason why I can't sleep is because I'm going over and over the same thing in my head and it's especially bad if I have a good idea because then I'm terrified I'm going to forget it if I go to sleep! If I write down a few quick notes to remind me in the morning I usually find I can then let it go and fall asleep.

I also find that writing a to-do list helps me to stop stressing during the day, especially if I start it with a couple of things that I've already done so I can tick them off straight away! It's silly I know but it really does make me feel better!

I hope things start to look up for you soon xxx

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do you know i am beginning to think there is something in the air at the moment so many of us are feeling like this...even my husband is down in the dumps about his job.I am beginning to wonder wether the recession is getting to us more than we give it credit (er excuse the pun!). I am about to move the pre-school in september/am still a keyworker/run the staff/planning etc etc etc...but have just booked myself on a bushcraft course (to support our forest schoolwork!!) am so excited it has lifted my mood so my tip would be to find something to lookforward to and try and have some fun...after all we are teaching 3 year olds not gcse's!...oh and a parent told me today they are seriously ill so that always focuses the mind on what is important :o

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Guest Spiral
do you know i am beginning to think there is something in the air at the moment so many of us are feeling like this...even my husband is down in the dumps about his job.I am beginning to wonder wether the recession is getting to us more than we give it credit (er excuse the pun!). I am about to move the pre-school in september/am still a keyworker/run the staff/planning etc etc etc...but have just booked myself on a bushcraft course (to support our forest schoolwork!!) am so excited it has lifted my mood so my tip would be to find something to lookforward to and try and have some fun...after all we are teaching 3 year olds not gcse's!...oh and a parent told me today they are seriously ill so that always focuses the mind on what is important :o

 

 

Couldn't agree more. That's why those chocolates, bubbles, candles, and the odd glass are required - because you must look after yourself too - life is too short, I know, I've had some very personal losses recently and you need to look after yourselves!! So there!!

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DevonDaisy I know how you feel hun through and through and too feel like giving it all up.

 

Excellent advice given already though.

 

I would contact the LEA and ask for a meeting with your advisor. Discuss your concerns with them and from there as for a meeting with committee. We have 4 staff though I have had to push for 4th due to set up of building and children arriving throughout the morning- it's a hassle but keeps parents happy.

 

My committee don't want me to do SEF but have discovered that our provider agreement states we must do one or we'll be considered red and under achieving and funding will be withdrawn - I a awaiting paper work to present to said committee. Keep at it. My break through with mine come when I insisted they re-wrote the policies. Only way and then they finally understood why we did things

 

Good luck hun xx

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I too can't really offer any advice as I work in primary but wanted to second the pen and paper by the bed to get things out of your head. Also I aim (and usually fail :o ) to have my last hour before bed work free so all those little bits can gradually drop out of my mind.

 

Mostly though just wanted to say hang in there and take care of yourself.

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Lots of good advice - a virtual hug here from a nursery manager feeling like you - knackered, fed up, overworked, overwhelmed, underpaid - must be the time of year - so much to do - aaarrrgghhhh - borrowed your thread for a quick scream xxxxx

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I have no words of comfort or wisdom to add to the really fantastic advice you've received here. But please accept a virtual hug from me who has been through much of what you describe (except for Committee), but now that the end is in sight, I'm wondering how I'll manage without it all!

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And from me...really does feel like things are all 'up in the air' at the moment! :o

I work to similar ratios...though up until recently two staff some sessions with 15 children which was very tough especially with some 2 yr olds and new children...now have an apprentice to boost ratios (sometimes 4 per session now!) which is a great help!

 

I'm still struggling with my committee too ...things that should have been dealt with months ago are still ongoing and now I feel like everyone is fed up with and ignoring me (my txts / emails go un acknowledged) when I have to ask for updates on things - feel most are just ready to 'jump ship' when the AGM comes along ( or before)... thing is they can and often do do just that and we get left to carry on...its the same every year around this time..they are winding down.

 

I know they are volunteers and most come on the committee just because no one else will but too many times I hear "we dont get paid to do what we do" ...but they dont seem to consider that neither do we..not really - not to do everything we do! - The difference is they do not rely on the setting for their income and career...so when things do get too much the option is always there to go..we have to (or choose to) plough on regardless because this is what we really love to do.

 

When Im with the children I put all the other stuff out of my mind and just enjoy being with them...the 'work' starts when I get home xD

 

Hope it all settles down soon!

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Thank you everyone for your replies. :o I went in today feeling much more positive and confident, due to your support and wise words.

 

I didn't sleep much (again), but have today managed to address the staff issue (I hope that's it now) and had an apology from the chair. Tonight I will prioritise my 'to do' list, which I never seem to get to the end of. I even said "no" to school asking for help with a school trip which is on my day off!

 

I think I need to get things in perspective - this is a job after all, not my own business!

 

We have had lots of changes in the EY team recently, so I haven't actually met my new EY advisor, but now might be a good time to get in touch I think. I need to keep working on those ratios with committee - eventually they might listen!

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