Guest Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I am having real problems with one of my families. To cut a long story short - we have a 3 yr old who displays some really undesirable behaviour, severe swearing , throwing /kicking resources, shouting , etc etc. I've called in my early yaers advisor and we've drawn up a BM plan. BUT the problem I'm havig is mum. She knew I was meeting with advisor and i arranged to speak afterwards - she didn't wait 2 mins to speak to me. I spoke to her as I caught her in the car park saying briefly what we'd come up with for her son to help him ephsising we'd had a 2 hour meeting to discuss it - she says all the right things (giving him attention, bed times etc). Asked if we can arrange a meeting with her and dad - 'oh yes next week, we need to sort this' - nothing and the boy hasn't been in since. i've tried calling, no reply. . I know there are some real problems in the family, think dad has moved out, we really want to help, but i just can't seem to get through to mum. Any advice would be great- this little boy really needs help, but I'm stuck without the family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_30128 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 might be worth speaking to social services and finding out if they have this family on their radar! if he has not been in since - either the parent is cross/embarrased or fearful that he has an issue. If he is swearing to this extent he has heard this from somewhere...where...home??? or do you have a good relationship with your health visitor(or the childs health visitor ) again can you find out if there is anything worrying? can you email her /text her to try and reassure the mum that you are happy to help. Personally i think i would have invited Mum to attend the visit with your EYA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_13453 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 As you say, you are stuck if they don't come in. Looks like you've done your best so far - it may be worth contacting the Advisor so she knows what's happening. It could just be, of course, that there's been some family emergency and they've had to dash off somewhere. Have you tried calling from a phone number she won't recognise as being yours if she's got caller display? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_35585 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I would be wondering whether this could be a safeguarding issue? and maybe contact social services. Of course I don't know all the details so I could be totally wrong! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 thanks for your thoughts. We know the language comes from home - mum blames dad, but i think it could be both of them?? Yes I will contact the advisor again to update her, and mum was asked to the meeting but was too busy. As far as safeguarding goes, we have considered this, but there although the kids seem to be bottom of the pile in the household their physical care is ok - probably some emotional neglect, but who's a judge there?? As for health visitors have no idea. In our area the HV's all changed, now people see very little of them at all. Another funding issue I guess. Oh I am just so frustrated, because if this child's behaviour contiues as it is he's is gonna have a rough ride though school - and maybe beyond Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 But emotional neglect is a serious issue, and if you ahve concerns you need to act on them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_1999 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 thanks for your thoughts. We know the language comes from home - mum blames dad, but i think it could be both of them??Yes I will contact the advisor again to update her, and mum was asked to the meeting but was too busy. As far as safeguarding goes, we have considered this, but there although the kids seem to be bottom of the pile in the household their physical care is ok - probably some emotional neglect, but who's a judge there?? As for health visitors have no idea. In our area the HV's all changed, now people see very little of them at all. Another funding issue I guess. Oh I am just so frustrated, because if this child's behaviour contiues as it is he's is gonna have a rough ride though school - and maybe beyond I can't obviously go into details but we had a similar case. Child suddenly doesn't attend, no phone call or any message to explain absence. All our attempts at making contact failed. I had alarm bells ringing ( though like you children well cared for physically) and couldn't pin point why so made a phone call to social care - they were brilliant, thanked us, took us seriously and made enquiries and got back to us within 24 hours to inform us they had got the police involved with the family. We never saw the child or heard from the family again BUT we did have a call from the police to compliment us on the steps we took. This all took place after 4 days of non attendance/contact I am not saying for you that it is a safeguarding issue but I didn't really think ours was either, just that feeling of something not quite right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 thanks Gezabel will bare that in mind!! oh no! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 If you have a Children's Centre nearby it could be worth contacting them to see if the family is receiving any support from their outreach workers. We have found in the past that families will more readily interact with the Children's Centre rather than the nursery in such matters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 just an update - I've managed to contact dad today - hurray!! He seemed to know little about anything that was going on beyond the little boy being a' bit bad'. He's promised to come in next week with mum to see me. Now I know they definately know what's happening and that I need to see them - watch this space!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_13453 Posted June 17, 2011 Share Posted June 17, 2011 Certainly progress! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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