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Guest helsha80

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Guest helsha80

Hi everyone,

I have a child in my reception class with some behaviour difficulties. I have involved our LEA behaviour support team, who advised me to use social stories. Does anyone know of any publications as I haven't a clue how to write them?( or the time) I know they are supposed to be written in the first person and I guess they should focus on the child's specific difficulties. e.g when I tell the clas to tidy away, if he sees others not doing this he will physically push, pull, pinch, force them to even though he is not doing as I have said. Or has any closet writer out there written some?

Helen Sharp :o

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Sorry can't help with your query but the description of the child is just like my grandson who has attended my preschool for 18mths ( His mum, my stepdaughter, works at preschool).

 

He thinks he is the "teacher", rounding children up to sit on the mat for story time instead of going there himself, "supervising" the tidying up etc.

 

He starts school in september and I am considering how to let the teacher know of about his positive, confident disposition. ( it's only his expression of his significant role models around him).

It can be excaserbating though and needs sensitive handling to enable him to be more like his peer group.

 

Peggy

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Thank you for the information on the site sunflower.

Helen you can always use stories such as Little Red Hen and Everybody sais No!

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Hi there

 

I use social stories in my pre school for one child quite alot. I have had no formal training on how to do this but what I do is:

 

When the child gets very cross about something and is unable to calm herself down I take out a large sheet of paper, fold in half and in half again - so that we have 4 boxes (or we sometimes fold it again to have 6), then the child draws simple pictures to show what happened in separate steps. In each box I ask child how she felt, and what she said, and we add speech bubbles and thought bubbles. The last picture normally is one that I draw, where I am giving child options - to either turn her feelings around and be happy, or to stay angry for the rest of the day. She normally picks the happy face, and usually laments "But I can't promise to be happy forever you know" !

 

I have adapted this to suit my particular child, but I think the emphasis is meant to be on focusing on the process of what happened, and usually by the time things are talked through the situation has dissolved.

 

I have found it to be very effective for this child, and it has helped to reduce the types of behaviours we were experiencing. Sometimes I spend a long time on it, and sometimes it can take 5 minutes.

 

Good Luck

 

G.

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Golilocks.... do you think that would work for a 3 1/2 yr old.... we have a boy who pushes, hits etc not viciously but just seems to have no social inteaction skills, when we speak to him he says sorry, sit me on the naughty step etc (because mum does this at home) but has no comprehension of why he has done it, do you think your idea might work??? :D

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We have a set of books about emotions. Can't remember the author will have to look it up but my favourite is "I feel angry" a wonderful short story for when you or the child/ren are angry :o:(xD well it always makes me feel better. The others we have are "I feel sad" "I feel Jealous" and "I feel frightened". They are all in the first person and make a very good starting base for conversation in a group or in a 1 to1 situation.

 

Goldilocks, I am interesed in using it for 3 and 4 year old children. Well I have 2 particular in mind. Mine are both like yours Hali and I am running out of ideas.

 

Gizzi

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Sure we are not, there must be lots of others who feel like we do :o Its just so nice to be able to read a story when you are angry, in an angry tone and actually feel better at the end of it. xD:(:(

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CArol Gray is the author of many books on social stories. If you type her in to google you will find what you need.

 

There is a special format to use and her books give different stories for different occasions.

 

Good luck

 

Kate

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I went on an excellent course recently about Conflict Resolution. The principle is to focus on what the problem is rather than what has happened and how the children feel. For example when there's an arguement about a bike two children want to ride you ask them what the problem is, once you've established this you ask how they're going to solve it. When they decide (hopefully!) they need to share it, you ask then how they're going to do that. Hopefully they'll decide to maybe ride to the end of the playground and back then it's the other child's turn. You then have to make sure you're around to make sure this happens. We've tried this in our nursery class with 3/4 years olds and they're very good at it. On the course they recommended a book by Betsy Evans called You Can't Come to My Birthday Party: Conflict Resolution With Young Children. Don't know what it's like - I haven't had time to get it yet, too busy with Ofsted due next week and reports!

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I nearly always do it that way now. I ask what the problem is and what they think could be done to make things fair. I help them to work it out and help with language needed and almost always have happy children...until the next time! The book sounds interesting, I'll look it up. :D

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It's a High/Scope book, Rea, so you should be able to order it through High/Scope UK if it's not available elsewhere. I've got a copy if you need the ISBN number etc.

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The paper folding sounds quite interesting - sometimes I feel so inadequate in dealing with children with behavioural issues, in fact, I often feel really inadequate - so many issues and just not enough time - does anyone else feel like this or am I just inadequate! I will certainly take a look at the social stories websites - thank you

Nikki

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Not inadequate at all! I sometimes just stand and look at the ceiling :o Last week I observed 2 boys continuenly crashing their bikes into another child. Instead of stopping it straight away I wrote down everything they did and then called them over while I read my notes to them. We had a pretty good discussion of their behaviour and how the other child felt. It worked for the rest of that session, but miracles take a little longer. xD

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I nearly always do it that way now. I ask what the problem is and what they think could be done to make things fair. I help them to work it out and help with language needed and almost always have happy children...until the next time! The book sounds interesting, I'll look it up.  :D

33456[/snapback]

ISBN number is 1573791598, it's available from Amazon £18

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Guest helsha80

:) Can I thank everyone who has replied to my request. I am always amazed at the response when everyone must be so busy themselves. So thanks again. I had already seen the Gray Social Stories site and they didn't quite seem to be what I wanted. The Book by Betsy Evans looks as if it might be useful. I found it can be bought on Amazon, however £18 zseems like a lot of money if it turns out not to be right either. What are the topics used and what is the format like? Are they stories about everyday conflicts that happen in the classroom such as not sharing, taking turns, telling everyone else what to do etc? :o

Helen

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Hi Helen

Betsy Evans book was recommended on the Conflict Resolution course I was on and I had a quick look through but can't remember what was in it (very poor memory).

I've got some handouts from the course which I could scan and send copies to you if you like (if I can find them - as I said I've got an appalling memory!)

Angela

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Hi there

 

Sorry I took so long to reply Hali about whether it would be suitable for 3 1/2 year old. The child I have been using it with is 4 and it has worked well. I think, though, it depends on the individual child, and I think it helps if they have good language skills and can draw the pictures themselves.

 

To be honest, I have been of the opinion that there is no harm in trying - it's not going to do any harm. I think social stories really just depend on the skill and patience (especially) of the adult, because it can sometimes take time to get the child to work out the story for themselves. For instance, I watched my assistant trying it today (bless her for trying) and it just didnt work, because half an hour later the child was still sitting at the table with her head in her hands wailing about not getting a big enough piece of dough. I had decided to let my assistant continue though because I didnt want to jump in and take over, but I could see that my assistant was trying to do everything too fast - I dont think she had thought the situation through herself. The other problem was that my assistant was frustrated that it didnt work immediately, and I could hear her getting exasperated with the child, which was not good either. But I'm glad she at least tried, because then we were able to have a chat about it.

 

i also wanted to say, when you are looking for information, dont confuse 'Social Stories' with 'Social skills training', because they are slightly different. I think both can complement each other, but social stories are more useful for the actual situation as it arises.

 

So all in all I would say, just have a go at it - you will soon know whether your child is interested in it or not.

 

I'll give you an example of one we did the other day which might help.

 

THE SITUATION

Jess and Pat were fighting because Jess wanted to take a picture of Pat with her toy camera, but Pat did not want his picture taken. Jess started to scream and cry.

 

I brought over a big piece of paper and folded it into 4. i asked jess to come and sit beside me.

 

Me: Tell me how this started.

Jess: Well I wanted to take a picture of Pat but he wouldnt let me.

Me: Okay, well first of all, I want you to draw a picture of you trying to take a picture of Pat.

 

*As child is drawing, I ask her how she is feeling

Jess: I'm feeling cross because Pat wont let me take his picture.

Me: Well you need to draw a cross face then

 

*She also drew a cross face for Pat and told me that Pat looked cross like her.

 

Me:Okay, what happened next?

Jess: Well I started to shout because Pat wouldnt let me take his picture.

Me: And what did Pat do?

Jess: He put his hands over his face so that I couldnt take his picture.

Me: Okay - draw a picture of you and Pat again.

 

*This time we added a speech bubble for Jess, where I wrote: "Pat, let me take you picture" Then I added a thought bubble for Pat saying "Why wont Jess leave me alone, I've said no, and its my right to choose not to have my picture taken.

 

----------------

 

I'll stop here, because I realise this could take a while as we are only on picture 2 :D But the most important point is to remember that the child will have a very egocentric view of the situation, and it is important to acknowledge this in every picture before talking about how the other child might be feeling. It is also crucial not to jump ahead to what happened next, or what your opinion is on how the other child might have felt before getting the first picture sorted. I know thats where my assistant went wrong today, because when I heard her asking Jess what happened first, she jumped in and said "But that's not fair, you shouldnt have taken Pat's dough" thus jumping straight to what should have been picture 2 without discussing picture 1.

 

It's also crucial to keep control of the situation, because I know that I can 'lose' Jess really quickly. What I mean by that is that if she doesnt like what she hears, she will continue to wail and cry. That;s where I have to say, "Okay, stop" or "Iwant you to stop crying and take a breath" or "Jess Jess Jess, listen to me"

 

Sometimes we dont reach a resolution, and when we get to the end picture, Jess will sometimes say, "Well I still feel cross", and so then I draw a picture of Jess with two pictures above it - one with a happy face, and one with a sad face. I then say to Jess that it is up to her to choose which way she feels - if she chooses the sad face then that means that she has decided to stay cross all day, and she will not have a good day. But if she chooses the happy face, then she will have a good day (and me!!). I usually wait with baited breath, because occasionally she will choose the sad face. That's when I say "Well I'm going to put the story away now because you have made your decision, and I'm going to go and make snack now" And I count my money to make sure I have enough for a bottle of wine on the way home :D

 

Anyway, I realise I have written a book here, so I'll go and give others some room :o

 

All the best

G.

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Thanks for the webside sunflower, it looks really interesting - I've just found out that I've got a child with Asperger's coming in September - so I'm going to have to do some research.

 

Harricroft.

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