AnonyMouse_29641 Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 I have a tricky little situation I'd like to avoid and this means a bit of a saga I'm afraid. One of my first minded children (nursery aged when he started five years ago) exhibited some quite challenging behaviour. The affect on my own children was negative and my husband took to staying home until we left for school to avoid the boys being hurt. Effectively he kept them out of the setting. After three years of managing (and two siblings beginning in the setting) my observations led me to suggesting that maybe a discussion with a psychologist might be appropriate so that school, I, parents and all involved were singing from the same song book. With that, the mother decided to find alternative care until she started her next maternity leave - big relief all-round - including the child. The siblings are still with me, and the new baby will start in September. The middle children have stayed on throughout maternity leave. Mother mentioned recently that older child might return when she goes back to work!!! Now, I'm not thrilled about the idea, but I know my husband just won't have it. It's likely that the situation won't occur, but just in case, how do I get around being seen to exclude the child? What rights do I have and what responsibilities? Forewarned is forearmed and all that. Wish me luck, Honey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_8282 Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Sorry, I can't help- but didn't want to read and run. It is an interesting situation though- at the end of the day it is your home and you do have to consider the views of other 'dwellers' (for want of a better word) I shall watch this post with interest. xx 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Hi Honey Sounds like a difficult situation, but as a childminder you have the right to choose who you care for, if caring for the child causes your family to suffer then your responsibility is to them not the child. Would the mother remove the siblings if you resfused to offer care to the eldest child? I think I would be honest and let mum know that I would not have a space available for the child. In your post you said you managed for 3 years, I would want to more than manage, I would hate the thought of not looking forward to a child coming to the setting. Hope you manage to sort it out. Footychick x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_19802 Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Hi Honey did the little chap receive any support/help/a diagnosis for his challenging behaviour? If so and the mother is aware and accepting of his additional need then maybe she would understand that he would benefit from a childminder who had experience of his needs and perhaps less children to share her time with. When you childmind with children of your own to consider then they are your first priority. Challenging behaviour changes the whole dynamic of a setting and a home environment is best kept just that 'homely', unless of course you specialise in sen. My advice is do not take on more than you can handle ( including an irrate husband) or it ceases to be a pleasure. if you have time??? maybe you could scan around for a more suitable carer for this little boy and point mum in that direction? I think its okay to be honest and say that you feel you would not be the best person for this job! good luck with it x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_29641 Posted May 5, 2012 Author Share Posted May 5, 2012 Thanks so much for all your considered opinions. I really don't think it would be in his best interest to be back with us. But I was concerned that since I had previously made a gentle recommendation of assessment, even though it was rejected, that I might be seen as discriminating against him. He's over eight now - quite capable of breakfast club and the mile hike to after school club. As long as I'm legally fine I feel confident in making other recommendations. Many thanks, Honey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_15046 Posted May 5, 2012 Share Posted May 5, 2012 I think you could say that you don't have the capacity to take on any more children of that age group as you feel that it would be detrimental to the care of the younger children. I don't think anyone can argue with that decision unless you take on different child of that age shortly afterwards. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 5, 2012 Share Posted May 5, 2012 I think you could say that you don't have the capacity to take on any more children of that age group as you feel that it would be detrimental to the care of the younger children. I don't think anyone can argue with that decision unless you take on different child of that age shortly afterwards. Upsy daisy is right (of course ) The EYFS (May 2008) states "any care for older children must not adversely affect the care of children receiving early years provision" (It's in Appendix 2, 12, p 51 of setting the standards...) It's your choice, and right, Honey not to offer a place to this child.... believe me, it's no fun when you dread their arrival each day Nona Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 Hi, I hope you made a good decision for your setting and your family. I just wanted to comment on the title and about the SEN issue of refering the child. Firstly I'd like to say that being inclusive means that you take into consideration all of the children in your care not just the child with a learning/behavioural difficulty. We as practitioners need to look out for the needs of the other children too! It pains me to say it because I believe in children being schooled in the main stream and not being shut away where no-one can see them, but they need the support that goes with it and if Mum is not prepared to assess his needs professionally then It leaves us professional practitioners high and dry as it were. With regard to refering the child for assessment I think that you made the right choice, if the child needs support, which it sounds like he does then that is the best path to take. Also if we as parents don't look out for our own children who else will. All the best in your practice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonyMouse_29641 Posted July 13, 2012 Author Share Posted July 13, 2012 Thanks Butterbalm, Just to update, Mum seems to be settling down a bit - she really has been through the mill. Would have been easier if she'd just been a bit nicer and accepted a bit of help, but there you go and I feel proud that we have maintained a working relationship. The older child will start with another childminder for breakfast (a close colleague and friend but I don't think she believes there will be any issues - it's one hour week, she'll manage.). Baby starts in September and middle children happy. Life goes on, Honey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 Honey, that's good news... well done! You should be proud of yourself for considering and meeting everyone's needs and staying sane, too Enjoy that baby in September. Nona x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts