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Im So Cross


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I feel so cross about a situation that happened today,i will explain as best as i can - Two children (twins) turned up for pre-school this morning which is a day they do not attend, i explained to the person who was dropping them off that its ok just for today as we have enough staff but i will ring mum later and explain that she would need to text or ring first to see if their could come in on a day they wouldnt usually attend to make sure we have got enough staff in to cover ratios, well home time came and mum turned up to collect children i said hello how are you? i wish i hadnt she started going on saying how i shouldnt of spoke rudely to this family member and saying she will not be bringing boys back and this family member was upset about it, i tried explaining about ratios and if we didnt have enough staff we would of had to turn the children away and all she had to do was get in touch to see if we could have them in.

I spoke professionally to her and this family member and tried to be reasonable, but you cant just have children turning up whenever they feel like it can we?

 

what would other people done in this situation?

Edited by Guest
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I suspect Mum's made a mistake and is now embarrassed because she sent her mother on a fool's errand. Maybe Grandma gave Mum a telling off for it. She may be really embarrassed now that she's let rip at you and might now be regretting it. I suggest you give her a call to give her a chance to normalise things again. Of course she might not be regretting it, but what have you got to lose?

 

Best of luck,

 

H

Edited by HoneyPancakes
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It was good of you to accept the twins into the setting without notice. I wouldn't have...not without even a phone call that morning to see if there were spaces available. That was just rude. Will you be able to charge the parent still? it may be worth changing your policy to not accept children on an ad hoc basis unless a request has been made prior to the session.

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To remove the children for such a minor matter seems a bit of an over-reaction.

 

Might there be other things she is unhappy about but has neglected to mention?

 

Perhaps a phone call this evening might clear the air.

 

Don't forget that she didn't hear how you spoke this morning and has only someone else's word for it. It may not have been reported to her very honestly if the person dropping off was irritated.

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we would not have taken the children... they were not booked in and could not guarantee that any who were not already there and booked did not turn up late..

 

If we knew we had spaces, we would have called mum before accepting them, asking relative to stay until it was sorted out with parent.. or on collection asked to speak to mum before she collected the children about it.. along with any policy we had on extra sessions etc.

 

Now she is complaining about it, I would do a written statement about what happened, timings , who was spoken to etc.. and if possible a witness statement form someone who heard you speak to the relative. and fill in a complaint form to keep with it..she may well be regretting it now and hope she is, but from experience the more a parent is embarrassed and upset about how they handled something the more chance they will complain or take it further to try to save their embarrassment and prove they were right. That may sound over the top but for me it was always better to have all documented in case you need to refer to it later. Hopefully you will never need it.

 

otherwise if unable to talk to her I would do the written letter not an apology but explaining the situation. maybe asking her to come in to chat about it..

 

Some parents do over react at the simplest of things.. often had it happen, remain calm , stick to your policies and decisions, they usually get over it..If not I always felt it was their choice and let it go.

 

I wonder what would have happened if you had not taken them..

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Thank you for all your comments so far, im not so stressed about it now, I feel as a setting we have been too nice and accommadating to our parents they may now be taking advantage of this.Even through we always tell them that if they would like an extra session they must text or call first but some feel they can do what they like and when you say something they fly off the handle.Im not going to worry about it i know i as in the right and acted like a professional, i will ring this parent and try to explain all this to her.I love working with children but parents can be such hard work.Maybe she was just having a bad day.

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Our rules are pretty similar to others.

 

We don't generally accept children on days they are not booked in, however, if we are asked in advance and have the space, we are quite flexible.

 

We had one mum who decided that if her child missed a day due to illness/bank holidays/inset days then she would bring him in on a random day as that was his 'entitlement' (funded 2 year old).

 

The same mum is now pestering us to offer the full 15 hours from June as that is when her son turns 3. We've explained the term after the third birthday rule, but she is adamant her older children had their funding as soon as they turned 3. She just won't be told.... grrrrrr.

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Thats what this parent also presumed, they have their funding spread over four days and because they had not been in all week she thought that it would be ok just to drop them off without a text or phone call first..

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We only take children for the sessions they should be there (unless parent has contacted us and they have a genuine need and we have space/correct ratios.

 

Had a parent last year that wanted 3 mornings one week and the other 2 the next and would come on a 2weekly pattern, trying to explain that it was going to tie up 5 sessions a week regardless as I couldn't then give the days they didn't want each alternate week as they wouldn't be available for her child the next week, she thought I should find someone that wanted the alternate :/ , the had someone that wanted to change a session but it wasn't available so they thought I should give her a list of all parents and numbers so she could phone them and ask if anyone would swap, when I wouldn't she complained to my committee that I was unaccomodating :D

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