Not a joke but very funny. Really hope its not true!

[AnonyMouse_3139]

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination

These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.

 

Q. Name the four seasons

A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

 

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink

A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

 

Q. How is dew formed

A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

 

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans

A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

 

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on

A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

 

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections

A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

 

Q. What are steroids

A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

 

Q.. What happens to your body as you age

A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

 

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty

A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

 

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes

A. Premature death

 

Q. What is artificial insemination

A.. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

 

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour

A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

 

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)

A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!)

 

Q. What is the fibula?

A. A small lie

 

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?

A. Nearby

 

Q. What is the most common form of birth control

A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

 

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'

A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

 

Q. What is a seizure?

A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

 

Q. What is a terminal illness

A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

 

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

 

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning

A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

 

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?

A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

 

Q. What is a turbine?

A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

Edited November 15, 2012 by Rea

[AnonyMouse_9650]

Love it - and what do you mean they will breed - they are already :lol:

[AnonyMouse_3139]

Not my quote, a friend from FB but really I agree with you Sue! :blink:

[AnonyMouse_19782]

LoL, very good Rea, some new ones there for me! I do so hope at least some of the children were answering tongue in cheek for some of them. If I didn't know the answer I might be persuaded to put a funny.

[Steve]

That's very funny. My favourite is the moon and tides. I can see where they were going when they started - but they lost their way somehow.

[AnonyMouse_3139]

I liked the Main parts of the body. So thick but so adorable

[AnonyMouse_1195]

Oh dear my family are looking af me with horror as I haven't had such a good laufh for ages. Thank you.

[AnonyMouse_1027]

::1a ::1a :lol: :lol:

[Guest]

in no particular order of my responses! :blink: :huh: ::1a :rolleyes: :1b :1b

 

would very much like to see their parents school exam papers...mind boggles

 

Loved the sour milk/cow answer! Simples!

[AnonyMouse_7120]

Soooooooooo funny

[AnonyMouse_26037]

I like the sour milk/cow answer too - cos you really can't argue with it. I can just imagine an examiner marking that and going well...yes!

[AnonyMouse_2732]

Superb Rea!!!!!!

[AnonyMouse_79]

And Rea I am going to nominate you for our first CIN spot prize!

 

Would you like a mug, a pen or a pad?

[AnonyMouse_3139]

Oh a mug please I broke my last one!! ::1a

[AnonyMouse_79]

Can you PM Sue your contact details then please.

 

And enjoy!

[AnonyMouse_3139]

That would certainly help Susan!!