Help Needed For S.e.n Child

[Guest]

Can anyone help please? I have a child that has start at pre-school with us who is on the autistic spectrum. we have built up a good rapor with mum who is also running along the autistic lines as well. she openly admits her children are difficult, her words not mine. her daughter went to a different group and i think she felt they left the child to do things her own way a bit to much because when she went on to school the teachers have told me that her temper tantrums were terrific. i have spoken to the other group and they found mum and child very difficult. we now have the little boy he is just 3 has no speech although mum says he talks at home. he tends to flit from one activity to the other and if you try and stop him in any way he screams spits, and kicks. mum brought him for a visit last term and was so happy that i would not let him do want he wanted but that i made him follow the rules and boundaries that we have for the other children even if it meant restraining him. she was so please that i wasn't afraid to hold him while he was screaming. my Senco and my self take it in turns to supervise him. and today i wanted him to listen to the story and songs. this meant I was head butted, kicked and spat at. the spitting is not to bad cos he's not to good at it. thank goodness. but the head butting or throwing himself backwards against you is really painfull. he hit me in the chest this morning and i'm just beginning to feel the aches tonight. does any one know of a way to communicate that will help. he hardly ever stands still and if you try and touch him he throws himself backwards, which ususally means you have to lay him down on the floor so he doesn't hurt himself. Both myself and my Senco feel that he is lacking in discipline like any child, as mum openly admits that he is like it at home and she finds him difficult. she is such a sweet mum and knows how difficult it can be being in a world that she looked at differently to evryone else. we did think of doing a picture gallery for him but don't know how to start. we have good support from our borough but it is still down to the 2 of us every week to "handle him". i now have til friday to nurse my wounds. his mum says that more than that and we would be exhausted bless her. she has 2 at home so don't know how she does it. she openly admits that her and her husband are "geeks" so what can you expect from the children. we have him for 2 years and the school are expecting great things from us!!! i don't know how we are going to do that but we will keep trying. i find him very sad, when he does look me in the eyes which is getting more I always feel there is a lovely little boy trapped who doesn't know how to get out or communicate. am going to soak my weary bones and strap up my elbow that is killing me from holding him. hope some one can help you all seem to have such good ideas. do remember that we are a pre-school and not a school, so not all things are the same. also I'm in a very big hall.

[AnonyMouse_705]

 

Hi Steph

 

I'm not very qualified to answer your query but wanted to empathise with your situation.

 

A couple of years ago we had a child with special needs within the autisic spectrum. We did eventually get funding for one person to support him but before that I had the job of looking after him. (I was the least qualified person in the group at the time- nobody seemed to want the job!) I think it's good that you and your SENCo share the responsibility so that you can take time out. The hardest part was when you thought you were getting through, building a relationship, then he would head butt you. One time he caught me in the mouth, which made me cry not because it hurt but because I felt I had failed.

 

I remember we needed to protect the other children from flying chairs, scissors etc.

 

I feel he did need rules and boundaries, as did the other children who liked to copy his behaviour to get attention. We used the usual behaviour management strategies, ignoring most unwanted behaviour, praising desired behaviour, rewarding with favourite toy etc. Our area senco said that we should arrange the session around him but we felt that was wrong, adapt yes but not completely alter.

 

If we wanted him to say sit at register, we would let him have a favourite toy (often something he could wind up, or a book to look at) and keep it as brief as possible.

 

Also if we felt he was winding up, we would take him outside to have a kick about with a football or run around to release some energy. We are lucky to have an outside play area.

 

Sorry, can't think of anything else at the moment, my bath is waiting and it's getting late but just wanted to reply and hope someone else can help. Good luck, I'm sure you will get to know your child.

 

Deb

[Guest]

He sounds very similar to a boy at our nursery and fortunately he comes with a teaching assistant for support. We have him every afternoon. When he first started we were quite concerned about his safety as he used to throw himself around when he didn't want to do anything. We just moved any obstacles out of the way and tried to steer him towards the carpet. Including cushions if necessary. After a while we noticed that he was actually quite careful when he was throwing himself about and he naturally avoided obstacles.

 

During free activity we have worked on helping him investigate things. It took him a while to accept adult support. At first he used to just run off if an adult came near but he has now found out that adults can make things more interesting. (e.g He was playing in the water and I picked up a watering can and started talking to him and he tried to take his apron off to leave. I held his hand and trickled the water on to his palm and he found this fascinating. I repeated it a few times. He then persisted doing this for another 5 minutes on his own with different objects in the water tray)

 

We found at first that it was unrealistic to make him do certain things e.g. sit and listen to a story. But we are perservering in a very strict manner in other items e.g not going on the grass when it has been raining etc. We have seen great improvement in his behaviour and he no longer kicks and screams when he has to change activities. He will now wear an apron when he plays in the water, wash his hands before snacks, sit down in a group at snack time and abide by other similar rules. However some things are still beyond him.

 

We have had to distinguish between whether his behaviour is part of his ASD or whether he has learnt very strong avoidance tactics. (He drops to the floor when he doesn't want to do things and he is quite a large child).

 

We have two groups for story time and he is in a very small group. He now stays and listens to a short story (allbeit lying on the floor next to the TA) and he is beginning to enjoy the simple singing that follows but this has taken a long while. When he started we set his target as being able to participate in story time. The TA has looked at books with him in a one to one situation (usually board books so they wont get torn) and he does enjoy some very simple stories so these stories are repeated at story time so he is familiar with them. We also decide at the beginning of the week which group activities he could participate in. For those that are not suitable for him he does one to one work with the TA. We have been given specific activities for this by the SEN teacher that visits school to support him.

 

He has been with us since August and we have noticed huge changes in his behaviour. However it is still unlikely that he will attend mainstream school as he would not cope in a more formal setting.

 

I hope this helps a bit. If you need to ask anything else don't hesitate to ask. If you could let me know a bit more about your setting I may be able to help by sharing things that have worked with us.

Sue

[AnonyMouse_705]

Hi Steph

 

Got into bed and remembered that our child liked the marble run, and toddler toys that had a repetitive action. We used to make up our own marble run using balls and cardboard tubes and boxes. To introduce the concept of sharing, I would say to him that it was my turn to put a marble down the run, then his turn. Then I would introduce another child to take a turn. Luckily our child enjoyed adult support.

 

He didn't like change so if we wanted to stop an activity say for snack time, we would show him a photograph of snacktime or an activity to give him time to get used to the idea. Our photographic timeline for your session might be worth making if you haven't already got one. Our's uses clip art but I saw an excellent photographic one on a Knowledge and Understanding course I went on recently (it's on my TO DO list).

 

As Sue said some things are unrealistic to expect a child with these needs to do, but others it is worth sticking to your rules, especially for the benefit of the other children who might think this is a good way to get attention. You have to decide what is important/achievable.

 

I think there was an element of him having got his own way from the way he reacted, so some boundaries are important. I think he had difficulty understanding the feelings and emotions of others around him.

 

If I was in the same situation again, I would ask our area SENco to observe for the whole session and demonstrate how they would deal with a situation not just observe for 10 minutes then take the supervisor to another room and say you must do this or that.

 

Our child did go on to mainstream school, accompanied by his supporter, but I think he spent a lot of time out of the classroom, one to one.

 

There were times when we had to restrain him for the safety of himself or others. He might suddenly head butt if he were sat on your lap for a story, but most of the time we were ready for it and held him away so that he couldn't make contact and hurt us.

 

If I think of anything else will let you know.

 

Deb

[Guest]

Yes I agree Deb. The activity with the ball with the tube and taking turns is one of the activities that we use. We have also found that having things in a box and revealing them works as he is quite curious as to what is inside. (He remained focused during group time for 15 minutes when I was showing the group a birthday box - he wanted to touch the things - which I encouraged along with the rest of the group)

 

I am off work at the moment but when I go back in I will look up the activity sheets that we were given and will post the ideas and let you know what we have tried.

 

Sue

[Guest]

Thanks for those words of support, some days you just feel that you are banging your head against a brick wall (no pun intended). We have had our area Senco in but unfortunately she hasn't been able to assess him because he doesn't interact with any one yet, and i'm not sure that mum quite understands about interacting herself as she finds it very difficult. She has said that he talks at home but we have yet to hear anything. She said goodbye to him one day and he just made a grunting noise and she turned and said what a good boy for saying goodbye. well we didn't hear it!!! I think what I find frustrating is that you don't know how much is his Autism and how much is him manipulating against things he doesn't want to do. although I expect that is part of the same thing. I've been reading up on all the Autism website to get as much info as possible. and I've bought a set of PECS cards to see if we can start communicating with him. I think I find the look in his eyes when he does hold eye contact with me so upsetting. Its the look of a scared little boy trapped. not exactly fear but just doesn't understand and know what to do to tell us what he doesn't like. Sorry me getting all soppy !! Still i have had a good morning on a course away from children and staff, that was fun. Unfortuantely one of my staff decided to tell me she's looking for another job, and going for an interview. so I'm back to interviewing staff again.

Also I think on Monday I heard one of the other children look at this little boy and say oh it's him again go away. so the other children are starting to understand that he is different.

Thank you all so much for your kind words. Its been great to feel that we're not alone.

Well I'm off to get some candles because we have had a massive power cut down in our town and it looks like it might go off again. so candles at the ready and blankets cos it will be cold. The only good thing as it will mean a baby boom. just been told that the electricity is going off at 7 for 9 hours. so good night all