A Worrying Situation....

[Guest]

Hi all

 

As some of you may already know the pre-school i opened has just completed its first twelve months so we find ourselves coming across new situations all the time (as many of you that have been open for ages probably still do )

 

We had a family join us towards the end of last term. Two boys (and one girl, who has just started today.)

 

When the two boys started dad came to visit and filled in all the forms. (it's obvious, in the nicest possible way, that there are SEN with the parents)

 

The eldest boy has left us now to start school, so we have the brother aged 3 and his sister, aged 2. The boy is really keen to join in and responds to adults and can complete tasks with adult support, but it is the little girl who has concerned us today.

 

When dad introduced us to her at the end of term, she was in her pushchair but dad told us (and put on the forms) that she is a lively little girl, loves to play with dolls etc and is very creative.

 

She turns up today with dad and mum. A member of staff went to say hello and welcome her. Dad took her out of her pushchair and said 'shes a bit wobbly today, she can walk but hasn't got a lot of confidence' The little girl then crawled (with confidence!)into the hall, dad took both her hands and she attempted to walk.

It was obvious throughout the morning that she cannot walk, even holding two hands for support. She crawled around the setting (which is worring enough, from a safety point of veiw,with some of our older children) pulling herself up using the furniture.

There is no language, snack time she just sat tipping drink out of her beaker, she sucked on breadsticks etc. We tried a creative session with her, she just put the paint in her mouth and pulled all the paper etc off the table. . she didnt seem to have any understanding of what adult was showing her (finger painting)

 

First thoughts after today is how we are going to support her. She needs 1-1 and that is going to be hard, we are quiet at the moment but worry when we are full that my budget will not cover an extra staff member to be with her all the time.

 

I have left a message with my district SENCO who is very good in supporting myself and staff and I will speak with the parents (they couldn't stay behind to talk today) so i am sure we will work something out, but i thought it would be interesting to see what everyone else thinks, or if any of you have been/are in similar situations.

 

I look forward to your replies

Jo

[Guest]

Poor you what a worrying time, why didn't the family make you more aware of the girl's needs prior to her starting the preschool?

From reading your post it sounds as though the family could really do with some support and advice, it's difficult to say how to deal with it, you probably need to build up a better picture of her needs and the family situation and if they are receptive to help.

Let's hope your outside help is forthcoming and then you can all work together to quickly provide the best care for this child and allow you all to do your job,

poor you Jo, maybe someone else will have a more knowledgeable outlook of how to move forward in this situation, good luck, let us know how it progresses and good luck.

[Guest sqpeg]

Hello

is the health visitor involved with the family

do you have a community nursery nurse

[Guest]

It appears that Dad is describing her behaviour as being a result of being nervous/shy in the new situation, rather than as a developmental delay. Maybe he is unaware of what developmental milestones his daughter should be achieving at her age/stage.

You have done the right thing by contacting your local SENCO, who will hopefully help you access any funding for additional support etc.

How was the brothers development? Just asking because parents have the experience of 2 older children to compare milestones with.

 

I would make as many observations as possible, in different contexts, follow your child induction procedure and keyworker system to help this young girls' settling in, then talk to the parents. I find it is always better to speak to parents when you have objective observational evidence that shows why you have concerns. And from these observations you can identify small steps that you would like to work with the parents on to help their daughter, this approach would help the parents see that helping their daughter is a shared experience and help them gradually get used to the idea that she may need additional support, especially if they are in denial.

 

Peggy

[AnonyMouse_3139]

I remember a parent years ago having to hear from our senco that we had concerns about her child. Years later I've spoken to mom and she told me that the conversation with the senco was the worst she'd ever had to have. She said that I wouldnt believe how difficult it had been for her to hear the words and how much her denial took over, preventing her from joining in with her child's development. She was working towards her NVQ3 at the time and was a playgroup deputy. Do like Peggy suggests and do it gradually. Good luck

[Guest]

Thanks for all the good advice

 

It's so hard to know how to approach such situations.

 

I have one mum (nothing to do with this family) who is so worried about her child she wants someone to come and see her and for us to do all we can.

Last term i had another child with problems and mum was having none of it, same situation as you Rea, mum was doing Early Years Degree!

 

Peggy I think you are right, in that the parents do not realise what she should be achieving. We do have concerns with her brothers (the older brother was not really with us for very long before he started school, but we did speak to school regarding our concerns)

The brother who is still with us, he's 3 1/2 years old, is being observed by his key worker, but his motor skills do seem fine.

 

It seems such a shame, they are a lovely family, dad was really pleased today when they came in to tell us that his son was now dry.

 

This is the hardest part of the job. Not wanting to upset parents, but we have to do the best for the children in our care.

 

Jo

[Guest]

yes, I agree, this is one of the difficult aspects of our jobs, to do our best I believe we have to try to remain detached, to remain objective and to always remind ourselves to celebrate each and every child's achievements, every child's individual "star quality", every child's innocence in the face of diversity, celebrate the strength they so often show us mere adults in how they overcome, adapt, and continuously strive to progress from where they are now. Every child's potential, is what we are in this profession for. Value the stage that the child is at now rather than grieve for what is not, then continue to support, cement and build on each childs personal foundations.

 

Congratulations on your first year Joanne, just keep up with what you are doing.

 

Peggy

[Guest]

Hi all

 

we have had a meeting today and we are going to wait for a week or so before we approach mum and dad, so we can continue with our observations and gain a better overall picture of her needs.

 

We will then, with parents consent, speak with their health visitor and our area SENCO is also going to call in to see her.

 

What a lovely last post Peggy your words are so true

 

I'll let you all know how things go

 

thanks again for your lovely posts - a problem shared is a problem halved

 

Jo

[Guest]

you say you will be approaching parents for consent for SENCO intervention, I always ask for this permission from all parents when children are admitted to my preschool, explaining the Area senco's role, this means I do not have to ask each individual parent, as the need arises. One less thing to worry about doing at these difficult times. What if they refuse because of their denial?

We have a duty of care, so this is why I ask permission as a blanket 'care' condition of a child entering our register.

 

Peggy

[Guest]

Hi all

 

just a quick update....... she walked today :D all be it a couple of steps, but she did it.

 

EY advisor saw her today when she came to visit, she too is worried, so we will still be seeking advice from SENCo and Health Visitor, and will be speaking to parents on Friday but at least we have taken a step in the right direction (pardon the punn! )

 

keep you informed

 

Jo

[AnonyMouse_1027]

ohh how sad.... lovely that she took a few steps await more news

[Guest]

GOSH, when I read "She walked" I thought you meant the mother had left the preschool, not coming back

 

but then I read great news, hopefully now she is with you she will progress in leaps and bounds ( no pun intended)

 

Peggy

[AnonyMouse_64]

GOSH, when I read "She walked" I thought you meant the mother had left the preschool, not coming back

 

but then I read great news, hopefully now she is with you she will progress in leaps and bounds ( no pun intended)

 

Peggy

 

Peggy,

 

That is what I thought too! Good news though and hopefully won't be long before shes building upon this and able to walk more than a little.

[Guest]

just a quick update,

 

Physio has seen the little girl, according to dad the physio has said there is nothing wrong and will not be seeing her again.

 

Have spoken to Health Visitor who will let me know when she receives report from physio.

 

SENCo has been in today and said that things are not quite right and is also concerned with lack of speech.

Shes going to come back, but not until Christmas, she doesn't want to be too 'heavy handed'

 

The little girl is coming on in leaps and bounds, i think its doing her the world of good being in a pre-school. Shes up on her feet most of the time now, (she is probably at the 12- 18 month stage of development) its hard work, what with a few other children who need a lot of adult intervention, thank god for supportive staff.

 

will let you know how things progress

 

Jo

[Guest]

Nice to hear such a positive update

 

Peggy

[AnonyMouse_1027]

that is good news glad things are looking good.