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Good Luck Peggy!


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If I remember rightly, your new family arrives tommorrow - just wanted to wish you all the best and hope they settle in well - Have a lovely Christmas and New Year!

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I was just thinking that that time was coming for you Peggy, all the very best to you and your family, what a wonderful thing you are doing.

 

Have a wonderful Christmas!!!

 

Be sure to keep us updated, if you get a chance :oxD

 

You will be in our thoughts!!

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Aren't you a great bunch of friends, remembering my previous news. :D

 

Alas I feel a bit guilty now for not updating you all, although I have been offline after my op on the 13th. (went well, although I do feel I am falling to pieces abit with regards to my health :rolleyes: )

 

update:

 

Social Workers :oxD:( ( not all but some) Local Authorities :(:( :wacko: (not all but the one we are currently dealing with)

 

Initially we were told children would be arriving on the 20th YIPPEE.

 

Beginning of December we were told, no their current Foster carer wanted them with her over Christmas ( understandably) and they would arrive on the 26th / 27th December. This was deemed as the current Foster carer meeting her needs and not the childrens.

 

Then, out of the blue the childrens' LA said we had not been assessed as long term carers ( they knew this in May 06 and it was repeated in August when we had a family placement visit to our house). The S.Workers manager decided the children can't be placed with us until this assessment has been done. This has entailed 5 hours of interview with our own link S.Worker and visits to two of our referees.

Since July the 'family' have had, wait for it 3 different social workers. A new social worker in November said that the eldest child (12yrs) doesn't want to move with his siblings therefore we will only have 3 children, then a week later we were told, no the older one will be coming to us, etc etc. They currently have a stand in social worker who doesn't know the case and is doing 'catch up' all the time.

 

End result is we now have a completely different young man with us ( 14 yrs - he was with us in the Summer) for a few months and the sibling group of four children won't be with us until March / April.

 

Today we are off to London for our current lads 'contact meeting' with his Mum and siblings and sharing of pressies.

For the 4 children We will be assessed at panel in J anuary ( our Foster Agency) then this info will be assessed at the LA panel where the children are coming from a month later, at the end of february.

 

I just despair for the children who have had so many mixed messages in such a short period at a time of great insecurity and change for them.

Still, I must be honest, I was warned that the 'system' doesn't always actually put the childrens needs first. xD The errors are all administrative because of lack of consistent social workers on the case, I do beleive they are 'playing for time' the usual process is that long term carer assessment is done AFTER children are placed and not as a requirement before.

 

I will keep you further informed of progress and thanks again for your interest. A quieter Christmas for us this year but hopefully we will be able to give the young lad who is with us a feeling of family, and that his recent troubles will fade, if only for the few days over the festivities.

 

Peggy

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Guest MaryEMac

Oh Peggy, sorry to hear that you won't have your full house this Christmas but at least you can give your foster son some happiness.

Hope you continue to feel ok healthwise.

Have a good Christmas Peggy,

best wishes,

Mary

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I'm sorry to hear of your difficulties Peggy - hope it's better news soon, hope I didn't upset you - didn't realise your current situation.

 

 

Of course you didn't upset me, silly. :o you were not to know.

 

I must admit, Fostering is definately a whole new world and I am sure the wait will be worth it in the end. :D

 

Peggy

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  • 3 months later...

oooh, spooky that you should ask tonight Rea.

 

We go to panel tomorrow, ( this is really a paper exercise and a few questions). Then straight after we have a meeting to decide details of arranging introductions and the childrens move to us. However, Todays emails were that the childrens current F. Carer, and the childrens school don't think they should be moved until end of summer term :o . If the last meeting wasn't cancelled ( March 20th) then they would have moved to us during the Easter break.

 

I have replied to my S worker that I don't think the children should be made to wait for yet another 3 months as they have been 'waiting' for so long now and it is time that they are placed with us as their long term carers ( dislike that term, prefer parents) then everyone can 'move on'. Our S worker agrees with us, I think he was just prewarning us of what will come up at the meeting tomorrow ( he is also the current carers s. worker too - a bit stuck in the middle)

 

I have said that as 2 of the children have learning difficulties I think it would be best for them to start their new school this term to enable the school to define what, if any, support needs to be arranged for the Autumn term. The children will also get an opportunity to make some friends to spend time with in the Summer holidays. What do you think, is it detrimental to move children aged 8, 10 & 12yrs before the end of the academic year? The youngest aged 4yrs will come to preschool with me ( I may even keep her in preschool until the term after her 5th birthday ( January) not sure yet though.

 

We shall see how it goes tomorrow but hopefully the children should be with us sooner rather than later. :D We have seen photo's of the children and they were given a book all about us, with photos in December.

It does give me butterflies each time I realise that they will be with us soon, excitment and trepidation. xD:D:(

 

Peggy

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I'm with you Peggy, I dont see how waiting any longer can help the children.

Children move schools all the time and not always during the summer holidays. They are far more resiliant than we give them credit for but they also harbour insecurities and doubts they might not necessarily be able to give words to. If they have to keep waiting how can they ever move on with their lives? They cant make new friendships where they are now or make plans with old friends if they dont know for certain when the move will take place. And what if theres a delay at the end of the summer term? Will they have to wait until October or Christmas?

I know, like we all do, that Social Services have a difficult job and few resources but common sense is free and should be used to override red tape and dithering.

 

Loads of luck for tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you and keepin gmy fingers crossed. :D:D

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"common sense is free and should be used to override red tape and dithering" Can I quote that one tomorrow Rea :D

 

I'll let you know how it all goes.

 

Peggy

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The sooner the chidlren are with you their long-term parents the better for all of you. The break with their current carers and schools is going to have to be made, and the longer it is put off the harder it will be for everyone. They need to be settled in their minds about where they belong, and if that is to be with you then that is where they should be now, not continuing to make emotional ties with someone they are not going to remain with. I also think that if they know deep down that they are going to be moved, then that will affect them emotionally and make them feel insecure.

It is in the best interests of the children to be settled in their long-term home, so that you can all get on with your lives- the children's needs should be coming first.

 

Best of luck for today.

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I'm thinking of you Peggy and can't wait to hear how its all gone. I agree with the others - the sooner the better for everyone's sake. We moved up to Scotland over the Easter holidays when my older 2 children were 7 and 10 and within 2 days at the school they were coming home and talking about their friends etc as if they had been there forever! And to think that I fretted about moving them. :o

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Attended panel interview ( although an hour late, not cancelled this time :D )

 

We are now officially 'matched' to be long term carers of the four children. :D:D

 

The chair of the panel made a recommendation that the children should move to us at half term, and NOT July, even if it means they miss a week of school during the move.

 

Meeting arranged for next week to agree introsuctions and moving date.

 

The youngest child age 4 will be with me at preschool, 2 boys aged 8 and 10 - primary and 1 boy age 12 - secondary. As soon as we got home I was on the phone to local schools, got a place for the 2 primary boys, meeting with headteacher on Monday :D , local secondary school says they are full, so contacted local Authority LAC education Officer who is contacting the school.

 

Received an email from our link social worker today, the childrens current carer says she can't attend next weeks meeting so will have to reschedule, and she still says they shouldn't move until July ( she has been a F. Carer for 20 yrs and is very assertive in what she wants ).

I've said I can't change to another date as I have already organised staff cover at work etc. It really does seem that she is finding it difficult to 'let go' which I fully empathise with, but the children must come first. We shall see if the social worker is strong enough to support her in this.

 

So really excited now, thanks for all your comments, It helps to hear that your views are the same as mine. :D

 

Peggy

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Glad everything is starting to move Peggy.

The only reason i wouldnt want to be a FC is the giving up of the children so I can understand her too, and even after 20 yrs they are all new children to say to goodbye to, but can she change the dates when the chair has made a recommendation?

 

Really hope it goes to plan :D

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