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My Dilemma!


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OK Everyone, remember I bagged that fab job six weeks ago, (the Forest school one) set in idyllic grounds in the countryside at the back of a beautiful house well......................

I was aware at interview stage that the site is moving in Septmeber a mile down the road as the owner had sold the house, a local private school has bought the nursery and are building a purpose built unit. Obviously at interview stage I needed to know that I would be moving with them and that my position was guaranteed, I was assurred ...guess what?!! Last Friday I was informed that there may not be a position for me in September and I will have to wait until the end of this month to find out.

OK so firstly I felt really cheated and basically that I am being used to fill a gap, I have asked the manager about her statement at interview stage and she has been vague and said once she hands over in August it it out of her hands.

 

That's not all the idyllic setting doesn't mean that all is plain sailing in the setting, the provision in my opinion is poor, (children bored, staff sat around texting on their mobiles!) staff are understandably a little unsettled (everyone is talking about what will happen, who will stay, who will go etc) the uncertainty is driving me bananas let alone them.

 

Today to top it off (this has been building all week) the room leader and her deputy had a disagreement which resulted in both of them crying!!

There is so much tension and so much back-stabbing I have never witnessed this sort of thing to such an extent. I have been given a contract that ends in July - Do I sign it???

 

I am very tempted to not bother to go in next week, I don't feel I can be part of it, having left a job that I had been in for six years to get this job (my last 6 months of ny last job were very stressful) I have gone back to not sleeping very well for over a week now and tearful before and after work, incidentally my manager wants the contract returned Wednesday - which commits me to a month's notice if I leave???

I can cover the FDey criteria of being in work by volunteering at the local school who will have me willingly?? I could look for something a bit more secure in the meantime??

 

HELP PLEASE

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Oh Shirl ! You were so excited about the job too. I'm sure someone will come along soon with some good advice in the mean time my heart really goes out to you.

 

My suggestion is that if everyone in down in the dumps and not performing as well as they should, you have the opportunity to really shine. If the children and bored, and they see you as their fantastic new playmate, who has made this dull place brilliant, their enthusiasm will rub off on you, and chear you up and the parents will soon find out how fab you are. Then when the nursery moves, they'll be begging to go with them too.

 

But maybe I'm just living in happy land today. One of the others will help with the reality

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ohhh how awful for you that is sooo sad, personally i would do what your heart is telling u - your Fd is safe so do what u feel is right for u, if u and other staff are really unhappy there what good is it going back next week, what a disapiontemt for you. try to have a good wekend :o

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so, do you stay or do you go......

 

I like alm's positive view on it :( , but also Hali does have a point too. It really depends on how you think you can handle this difficult challenge at this time, how will it affect your well being? You already say you are having sleepless night. Imagine 12 or more weeks of the same as last week and maybe not even a job at the end of it. Or if there is a job, if I understand correctly it will be with new owners ( xD )

 

Personally just the mobile phone use would do my head in, I don't think I could tolerate that. :wacko: :o

 

Can you afford to not return next week? I also don't feel too comfortable about the manger inisting you return the contract on Wednesday, even if you do you could give it a try but if it remains awful just give notice but don't work it. ( and I can't believe I'm saying this :(:( ). The job offer from interview has changed so to expect commitment to something you didn't apply for is unreasonable.

 

Pleeeeese don't let this spoil your bank holiday weekend, make your decision on Tuesday, and as Hali says, listen to your heart.

Good luck.

 

Peggy

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Thankyou as always I am sat here awating some words of advice and within a short space of time I have some, it is great I already feel a little better, if nothing else I can re-read your comments over the next couple of days and decide, lovely to have conflicting advice too then I can weight it all up, you are all great - save's my husband getting an ear-bashing as soon as he walks in, I have already cried on my 15 year old daughter's shoulder.

 

Thanks again, ever grateful.

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What a terrible situation to find yourself in so soon after leaving behind the other job. xD I guess it goes to show that it's not always easy to tell what a setting is like just from a few visits.

 

As Peggy says, financial considerations are always high on the agenda and only you know the situation there. You should also be careful about how it may look to future employers if you walk out of a job at short notice. However much you may tell them that the situation you found yourself in was intolerable, there may always be seeds of doubt in their minds which may cloud their opinion of you. However, your health and happiness is also of utmost importance. You don't want to end up compromising your health over a job. Jobs are there to enable us to live and at the point they are making our lives a misery you would have to question whether it is worth it.

 

Sorry, not really much help! I hope that you can reach a decision that you are happy with by next week. Keep us posted. :o

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I can't believe it Shirel :o

 

You were so unhappy in your last job, and were just delighted to find this one ..... how awful for you.

 

Are all the staff moving with the nursery in Sept? Who will your new manager be in August?

 

Is there someone you can sit down with and talk it over?

 

I honestly do not know what to suggets, except you need to be happy where you work.

 

Don't sign the contract if you don't want to, until you are sure.

 

Ring me over the weekend if you need someone to whinge to,

 

Shelley x

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hi,

I really am feeling for you. Nothing really to add, but would suggest you aren't over quick - as Carol says, it might reflect badly if you just 'up sticks' - as for the texting :oxD:(

 

Mobiles are banned in the rooms in our setting, and turned off or silent (in SPECIAL circs) at staff meetings. If you do nothing else, I would address that !

 

Good luck, whatever you decide. Keep us posted, we're all rooting for you

 

Sue xx

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Guest Wolfie

I've nothing new to add really...I agree with everyone else's comments and just want to reiterate that it is your personal happiness that should take priority in any decision that you make - it is THE most important thing! It does seem very unfair to expect you to sign a contract when everything is so uncertain and the job that you successfully interviewed for suddenly doesn't seem so much of a reality!

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How awful for you! If you dont sign the contract, does that mean you can leave straight away?

It is not fair for them to ask you to sign a contract when they wont guarentee your future with them!!

 

Go with your gut feelings, no job is worth loosing sleep over and making yourself ill!!

 

Good luck with your decision.

 

jenni x

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I would go in on Tuesday morning and give them a weeks notice. Don't do what one of my ex staff did recently and just didn't turn up on the Monday morning-she telephoned and said she wasn't going back. She hadn't signed a contract either but I do feel it is quite unprofessional to just leave in that way. If you at least give them some notice it doesn't reflect badly on you.

Good luck with it-it must be awful to be in such a situation.

Linda

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so sorry to hear of your circumstances. personally i would phone ACAS to talk to some-one about your circumstances before you sign your contract and make any big decision of leaving. as for the mobile phone issue we have a policy in our setting that all private mobile phones are turned off and left in bags during contracted working hours. If staff need to be contacted they can be via the settings mobile number. However they can make IMPORTANT calls in their lunch break, this policy was agreed by all staff. WE ARE EMPLOYED TO CARE FOR CHILDREN NOT MOBILE PHONES!!! sorry get a bit irrate about use of mobile phones in the work-place! :o

 

hope this helps

 

toadie

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Thank you all of you, :oxD and particularly thankyou Linda, allowing me to see it from a different perspective has mad me decide that i will go in next week and work a week's notice (I know they are short staffed at the moment - it's the least I can do) and makes me feel like I have acted professionally at least.

 

Thanks again everyone, already seen a position locally for a leader and going to apply.

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Guest Wolfie

Well for what it's worth I think I would have made the same decision as you! Enjoy the rest of the weekend now and look forward to a new challenge! :o

Edited by Wolfie
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Good choice Shirel. You've already been there and done that - and you know how unhappy you were before.

 

It's meant to be, and therefore something good is waiting for you just round the corner - hopefully it'll be the leader's post.

 

Just think how chilled you'll be next week!

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Thought I would update you all, I didn't hand in my notice (too scared!) instead I confronted the manager and asked should I look for another job, she explained that the original plan was for the nursery to move exactly as it was and now it seems it could be smaller (buyer's choice). She said she was disappointed but was still fighting for the deal to be the same, so that is why I could loose my job, she also apologised and told me she really wanted me to be part of the move (?!)

 

On the 22nd of May she will no for definite wether I have job - so basically I am taking each day as it comes, I feel I don't really know whether I want to stay anyway but haven't had the courage to do anything rash, I remember how angry I was when i first posted and yesterday I was a little tearful, but I am concerned that prospective future employers would be cautious of employing me if I just leave so soon to finding out about it, half of me hopes I havent got a job then I can just go in until something turns up.

 

It's been another hard week - I have been loggin on and reading posts but can't find energy to reply, you know it's bad when you can't add your twopenneth don't you??!!

 

Thanks for all the support, Shelley thanks for the message, will reply as soon as I get a chance, thank you all again.

 

to be continued.....................

 

p.s. I refused to sign contract thanks to all your advice on here!!!!!

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Guest Wolfie

Well done for surviving the week shirel, I think we've all had weeks/moths when everything seems to take extra effort and you can't seem to even summon up enthusiasm for things that usually make you happy.

 

Taking one day at a time sounds good to me - the 22nd May isn't SO far away and, as you say, then you will be in a much better position to make a decision with more "facts" at your disposal.

 

And well done for not signing that contract - I think it's completely unreasonable that they should be asking you to do that with everything so up in the air. Stick to your guns on that one!

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I do sympathis - not a nice situation at all. :o Perhaps once everyone knows what's happening things will settle down and it'll be the great job you had hoped it will be. If not, then I hope you find something else soon.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Just thought I would update you all on my dilemma, called in to day after work for an emergency meeting, whole staff, we are all being made redundant as of July 25th!!!!!! It seems the move to the private school has fallen through and the nursery will close.

 

Mixed feelings at the moment, much sadness at the nursery tonight as I left, I will post again when it has all sunk in.

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Guest Wolfie

Oh, I'm so sorry Shirel, that's terrible news. I'm sure that as one door closes, another one will open for you - we're all rooting for you. :o

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You're bound to have mixed feelings - who wouldn't?

 

I guess the decision has been made for you. The only way forward is to start looking for something new - and MUCH better. Anyone would be a fool not to snap you up.

 

3rd time lucky eh??!

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