Guest Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Hi Reading everybody's views on this has been very interesting, and shows what difference of reactions to being told 'I love you' or being kissed by your pre-school/nursery children has. I think some people are more comfortable about returning the affection than others just as some children are more affectionate and 'cuddly' than others and some need the reassurance of a cuddle more than others too. some children would hate to be cuddled and kissed and wouldnt dream of asking. Everbody is different I personaly tell my children i love them too because i feel that if they are saying it to me then they are looking to be told that they are loved here. And the same with the kissing thing, although it is not encouraged, if a child comes up while playing and kisses me, i give them my cheek and say thank you. A friend of mine who also works in a pre-school and I often have a debate about allowing children to sit on your lap, either in the book corner or at a table etc she disagrees with it and will sit them next to her and hold their hand where as i allow them on my lap if they need that extra bit of reassurance. There are so many lines we have to watch out not to cross, its quite sad. I feel that if you want to cuddle children that need it then do and if you dont feel comfortable doing it then don't. Children will get to know who to go to to make them feel better. I'm loving reading everybodys feelings on this hugely topical discussion N xx
AnonyMouse_8466 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Welcome to the Forum, nikikii! I think you're spot on with your observations - we are all different and respond to touch in individual ways. As you say it is very sad that we even have to worry about crossing some line or other - after all: who decides where the line must be drawn?? Maz
Guest Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Hi and welcome to the forum nikikii! I had never seen this post - really interesting - I agree with your lines here - if a child indicates to you they need a cuddle, then we respond by giving them a cuddle this reassures them and etc etc and we are responding to their needs. I had a little girl who said to me last week "I love you", I smiled at her and I said "oh, that was such a nice thing to say to me, and I think you are lovely as well" - she smiled all over her face" ah ah ah - just wish my own kids said this a bit more, but alas in their teens Dot
AnonyMouse_11414 Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I had one the other day. i was sitting on an activity with my own son and another child when my son said "mummy i really love you". The little girl said "I wish you were my mummy to" i replied"but youv'e got a lovely mummy " "but I love you and you make me laugh" she replied I just melted and my son piped up "she's my mummy and noone elses" "Out of the mouths of babes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guest Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 Loved that Emmawill - its not only "i love you" and the like kids say that make an impact - we have had hay stacks outside for the last couple of weeks - each morning I have spent good 45 mins sweeping up and tody I created a camp with the hay stacks nets and sheets, and tent picnic other side along with usual outside activities, just as i was coming in a little boy poked his head around at what i had done, and said "look at those FANTASTIC things out there" - big smile on my face, well worth the sweep up (had been constantly thinking last week "why on earth did I get hay stacks") !!!! Dot
Guest Posted June 30, 2008 Posted June 30, 2008 I have one particular little lad who has severe speech disorder and general delay and over the past few months I have watched him blossom and he will often launch himself at me to give me a cuddle and kiss - whilst leaving his poor mother standing there. But for him it is his only way of showing affection and I am happy that he wants to share that with me. He hasn't mastered my name but apparently I'm all he talks about at home. And it's really nice to know you have that effect on children, after all we all remember our favourite teacher don't we.
AnonyMouse_705 Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 I had one little boy tell me he loved me the other day, I replied with a smile and genuine affection 'I like you too', then he said 'you're beautiful' and it made my day, it's not very often I get called beautiful these days! Thought I'd share it with Mum as his behaviour can be challenging at times, when I told her she said 'he can be a charmer when he wants to be'!
AnonyMouse_4544 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I had a little boy who hadn't spoken in 5 terms in nursery one day shortly after he started school there was a huge shout of "I lud you miss"
AnonyMouse_3139 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 Owen used to come into playgroup with a bit of a scowl. Every morning I would play the part of both of us in the conversation while he stared at me. 'Good morning Owen' Owen would scowl so I would continue 'Good morning Andrea, I'm happy to be here'. 'Oh I am glad Owen, lets go and play' He was with us for around 2 years. On his last day he walked in and said 'Hello Andrea, I'm happy to be here.' I have to admit to not being able to speak for the lump in my throat.
AnonyMouse_11414 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 that has put a lump in my throat to. Ahh are we all softies!!!!!
Guest Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 It is a difficult one isn't it. I had a situation the other day when a girl started telling me how much her dad loved me!! I've never met him but she assured me he does!! Her mum was sitting just opposite me and said I was more than welcome to him!!!! I too reply to the I Love You statment by saying how lovely it is and then distracting. I think all children need a cuddle once in a while and have no problems with the children sitting on my lap. If I'm not in the mood for it I just distract again.
Guest Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 I am a man working in Reception I always get the I love you's and respond like many other's. However, I also get 'I wish you were my daddy'. It''s very hard to respond to that.
AnonyMouse_3139 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 If I'm called mom, I usually scream Noooooooo. Gets a laugh and I dont have to pretend its a lovely idea
AnonyMouse_8466 Posted July 1, 2008 Posted July 1, 2008 We're having 'dads into pre-school day/week/fortnight/month' so we're getting a lot of dads visiting this term! One chap came in with his son last week and wanted to know "where is your girlfriend who you talk about so much?". He lovingly pointed to a member of staff and said "there she is!". Well apparently it was unclear who was more embarrassed: dad or the 'girlfriend'. Its fairly clear they have formed a close bond! Maz
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